Is it still preferred for men to ask the girlfriend's family for permission before proposing?

[Anonymous]

Are people still doing it? What's the point because if she is already dating you, either she has permission or doesn't need it. Anyways, which questions would you ask a young man who asks for your permission to propose your daughter? (If your daughter is 21-30 and unmarried)

[Anonymous]

Its 2022, she can decide for herself.

[Anonymous]

No, it's unnecessary and ridiculous. My husband comes from a conservative Asian family, as does my father (not the same one!), and they did talk. But it was totally a "check the box" kind of thing. My father expected the gesture, my future husband knew it, so went through the motions.

My husband and I expect that our children will announce they are getting married to someone, instead of they or their fiance asking for permission. Seems like and important thing to be decisive about, no?

[Anonymous]

Ugh, my brother and brother-in-law both did this, and I found it super offensive. Not sure how the women in question felt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
No, it's unnecessary and ridiculous. My husband comes from a conservative Asian family, as does my father (not the same one!), and they did talk. But it was totally a "check the box" kind of thing. My father expected the gesture, my future husband knew it, so went through the motions.

My husband and I expect that our children will announce they are getting married to someone, instead of they or their fiance asking for permission. Seems like and important thing to be decisive about, no?

And to answer your other question, I think my husband explained that we got along very well, were in the same field, had the same financial and parenting goals, and that he had the means to support me. That last was all my father wanted to hear. Sigh.

[Anonymous]

Not only is that out of date custom falling out of favor, there are fewer men proposing to women, at least in the traditional way, as a total surprise. Usually the couples are having conversations and come to an agreement. And more women are proposing…and of course more and more couples are not male-female….

[Anonymous]

Not permission, but a "blessing". DH asked my parents and his parents for a blessing. I'm not even conservative and only feel moderately traditional, but I wouldn't have been as happy had he not asked. Plus, it meant both sets of parents knew and were waiting for the call that we were engaged.

[Anonymous]

LOL!!! No. Its sounds so demeaning. Btw, if a woman is proposing, should she ask his mom's permission.?

[Anonymous]

This tradition was for underage and dependent daughters, but for some reason people kept doing it even for grown women.

[Anonymous]

What if father says no? Should you still propose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are people still doing it? What's the point because if she is already dating you, either she has permission or doesn't need it. Anyways, which questions would you ask a young man who asks for your permission to propose your daughter? (If your daughter is 21-30 and unmarried)

What would you ask? Sexual orientation? Voting history? ATM pin?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are people still doing it? What's the point because if she is already dating you, either she has permission or doesn't need it. Anyways, which questions would you ask a young man who asks for your permission to propose your daughter? (If your daughter is 21-30 and unmarried)

No, on the the permission. Yes, on the meeting him and asking the role he wants in the wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This tradition was for underage and dependent daughters, but for some reason people kept doing it even for grown women.

This. I’m from an old fashioned southern family and my dad would’ve freaked if my DH had done this. “What in the h*ll are you asking me for, she’s a grown a$$ adult and she makes her own choices!” Would not have started us out on the right foot!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are people still doing it? What's the point because if she is already dating you, either she has permission or doesn't need it. Anyways, which questions would you ask a young man who asks for your permission to propose your daughter? (If your daughter is 21-30 and unmarried)

No, on the the permission. Yes, on the meeting him and asking the role he wants in the wedding.

What if you are only getting engaged and have no plans to marry for years?

[Anonymous]

If he is asking her dad, should she ask his dad's permission? Its only fair.