Am I the only one not crazy about the idea of a nanny?

[Anonymous]

Pregnant with our second child. Existing child is five and was in a home based daycare and currently a full time preschool. As we are figuring out care for when the baby arrives, almost universally people are suggesting a nanny. First child will be in K when we need care. Can easily afford a nanny, but….one is just not appealing to me. The idea of having someone in my space all day long, especially if I have a part time work from home arrangement, is very unappealing. It just feels like I would never be able to relax.. Do I just need to get over myself if a nanny really would be a lot better? Or do I ignore the peanut gallery and find a daycare for the baby?

[Anonymous]

You are not the only one.

[Anonymous]

I think if you’re only doing part-time work and don’t need long days of care, a daycare setting can work well. I think when both parents work long or unpredictable days, having a nanny can make life more manageable.

I had friends with nannies and I know I would not have been comfortable with it. I was able to cut work back to part-time project work, so I never needed full-time care and that’s how I managed it.

[Anonymous]

That’s because you haven’t had a great nanny. We have the most wonderful and loving nanny who has benefitted my two kids so much and been such a gift to us.

[Anonymous]

Do what is right for you and your kid - who cares what anyone else thinks (besides your partner)?

You don't need permission to do what works for you!

[Anonymous]

I have seen many friends scrambling for care when a nanny quits with little notice, so for me that’s a big disadvantage. Alternatively, with the Covid situation daycares have been closing for days at a time, so that’s not always reliable, either.

[Anonymous]

I’ve always worked from home and having our nanny has been fantastic. I was able to breastfeed both kids, be there for all milestones while still being able to continue my career. Our nanny is a true Mary Poppins and, in all honesty, good company for me. And she handles everything regarding the kids which gives me the freedom to spend my off time with them rather than having to their laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, clean/organized outgrown clothes and organize toys. When I was still pumping, she even washed my pump parts for me.

[Anonymous]

The balance of convenience shifts dramatically towards nanny when your daycare keeps closing constantly, which is what a lot of people are basing this on. But if you have flexible part-time work from home and plenty of money for backup sitters that is probably not such a big deal for you. For those who need reliable child care in order to work full time, it is different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have seen many friends scrambling for care when a nanny quits with little notice, so for me that’s a big disadvantage. Alternatively, with the Covid situation daycares have been closing for days at a time, so that’s not always reliable, either.

You should have seen us scrambling when our daycare closed permanently with one day notice. Give me a nanny any day if the week!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The balance of convenience shifts dramatically towards nanny when your daycare keeps closing constantly, which is what a lot of people are basing this on. But if you have flexible part-time work from home and plenty of money for backup sitters that is probably not such a big deal for you. For those who need reliable child care in order to work full time, it is different.

No, even precovid, we lost so many days with colds and fevers that we were taking unpaid leave. We are so happy we got a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pregnant with our second child. Existing child is five and was in a home based daycare and currently a full time preschool. As we are figuring out care for when the baby arrives, almost universally people are suggesting a nanny. First child will be in K when we need care. Can easily afford a nanny, but….one is just not appealing to me. The idea of having someone in my space all day long, especially if I have a part time work from home arrangement, is very unappealing. It just feels like I would never be able to relax.. Do I just need to get over myself if a nanny really would be a lot better? Or do I ignore the peanut gallery and find a daycare for the baby?

I would never put a newborn in daycare unless I had no other option. Having a nanny has been great for all of us. I thought I would feel uncomfortable having her in the house but I never did. Now DH is also working from home and it still works and our apartment isn’t that big.

[Anonymous]

I never liked the idea of a nanny either. We put both of our kids in an in home daycare, it felt like a nice combination of personal but still having socialization and structure for my child.

I'm confused about why you wouldn't put your 2nd child in an in home if you were comfortable with one for your first? I also had one child in preschool and one child at an in home. It sucked having to do drop off/pick up at two different places, but it was worth it.

[Anonymous]

OP - keep in mind that DCUM is full of really wealthy people, so you're not going to hear as much from normal people who used daycares for their kids. It's a little biased on these boards. Daycares are great, do your research, find one you love, get lots of referrals from neighbors.

[Anonymous]

I’ve always worked from home too and our nanny has been with us for over three years. I think it’s the best of all possible worlds because I’m around and don’t miss my kids! Plus I never had to pump and could breastfeed easily. Nanny has always taken the kids outside in the mornings and has activities planned for our tiny outdoor courtyard in the afternoons. Precovid, she used to take my oldest to library storytime and free music concerts! She handles everything for the kids like other posters have said so DH and I have more free time to spend with them.

You have no idea how great it is, OP! Try it and see how you do. I’d much rather have my baby home than send them to daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - keep in mind that DCUM is full of really wealthy people, so you're not going to hear as much from normal people who used daycares for their kids. It's a little biased on these boards. Daycares are great, do your research, find one you love, get lots of referrals from neighbors.

But OP is one of the “wealthy” ones and she works from home part time! Why wouldn’t she want her baby with her while a nanny is engaging and caring for the baby? I totally understand that not everyone can afford a nanny but OP can!