Divorce is contagious?

[Anonymous]

Do you believe in studies showing higher rate of divorce for people with divorced parents, siblings and friends?

[Anonymous]

What do you mean “believe in?” Like if I read one, I would question the methodology and find the results either valid or invalid?

Why don’t you post some links to some of these studies you’ve referenced so we can read them and decide?

[Anonymous]

https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1490708

[Anonymous]

https://www.chicagotribune.com/lifestyles/sc-fam-divorce-contagious-0821-story.html

[Anonymous]

https://read.dukeupress.edu/demography/article/58/6/2219/201510/Is-Parental-Divorce-Homogamy-Associated-With-a

[Anonymous]

Yes, I believe the studies.

[Anonymous]

There is divorce culture. Runs in families. It makes sense. When you see it done, and everything is usually okay, it makes it easier to accept doing it yourself.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know about friends, but divorce absolutely runs in families. I will be worried if my DCs start seriously dating someone with divorced parents. They are much more likely to get divorced themselves.

[Anonymous]

Yes, because then there is less of a stigma.

Many of the women in my side of the family initiated divorce because they were tired of their H’s BS. I initiated my divorce for the same reason.

In my xH’s family there is zero divorce. But the marriages almost all suck. xFIL is extremely abusive towards xMIL, who tolerates it because they just don’t do divorce in that family. xBIL and xSIL were completely miserable and miserable to be around. I’d rather be single than be in any of the marriages they had.

So I guess my family has divorce culture, his family has a culture of crappy marriages.

[Anonymous]

It’s not specifically divorce that runs in families. Things like ADHD, ASD and depression. Learned behaviors like communication and emotional support. Religion, culture, views on the roles of the sexes and marriage.

All of these contribute to healthy or poor relationships. Divorce is a symptom, not the cause.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know about friends, but divorce absolutely runs in families. I will be worried if my DCs start seriously dating someone with divorced parents. They are much more likely to get divorced themselves.

I know a lot of great people with divorced parents. Mine aren’t but l wish they were. The resentment and contempt between them is depressing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not specifically divorce that runs in families. Things like ADHD, ASD and depression. Learned behaviors like communication and emotional support. Religion, culture, views on the roles of the sexes and marriage.

All of these contribute to healthy or poor relationships. Divorce is a symptom, not the cause.

Very true as well.


Divorce is very hard on those from intact families of origin, but if something’s chronically wrong, break the cycle.

As for the other party, poor quality or broken relationships or total lack of real connection may be their norm. Sad.

[Anonymous]

For sure. Misery loves company.

[Anonymous]

Its not about divorce being right or wrong. It can be totally justified or absolute selfishness. Point here seems such behavior gives other people a magnifying lens to escape from commitment and responsibility. It opens up doors for infidelity.

Its the same thing as dating people, if friend gets a new hottie or an bubbly athlete, your loving girlfriend or sincere boyfriend start looking plain and boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, because then there is less of a stigma.

Many of the women in my side of the family initiated divorce because they were tired of their H’s BS. I initiated my divorce for the same reason.

In my xH’s family there is zero divorce. But the marriages almost all suck. xFIL is extremely abusive towards xMIL, who tolerates it because they just don’t do divorce in that family. xBIL and xSIL were completely miserable and miserable to be around. I’d rather be single than be in any of the marriages they had.

So I guess my family has divorce culture, his family has a culture of crappy marriages.

It’s really sad that those are the only options both of you were raised with. No wonder you guys divorced.