Update: No, it's not abandonment (fact vs fiction)

[Anonymous]

A few weeks ago I posted here asking for how I should approach telling my husband I wanted a one month break from him and (by force) our kid (because he's the stay at home parent and our kid is older so it's not like I'm leaving a baby). I wanted time to think about our marriage. I am the person who works and supports the family. My thread turned into a hate fest of: By doing this you are abandoning your family!!!

I had a consult with the divorce firm Livesay & Myers this week. They confirmed it is NOT abandonment! 1) I am still paying for everyone's living expenses. 2) I am returning. 3) There is communication of when I will be leaving and returning.

For all you "know it all" people who think you "know" the law. You do not. Have a nice day.

[Anonymous]

Legal decisions differ from moral ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Legal decisions differ from moral ones.

+100

"No son. You have no right to feel abandoned. My lawyer told me so"

[Anonymous]

OP do what you need to do, don't think of DCUM as any kind of steady moral compass, it's a cess pit of vipers. Keep your own counsel.

[Anonymous]

Wow, OP. Now ask your kids if they feel abandoned.

[Anonymous]

Of course it’s no legal abandonment. Any quick google search would have told you that. But I’m with the PP’s- morally it’s a different story. Just divorce your husband and don’t bother with the break.

[Anonymous]

You received lots of great advice on that thread. I see you are choosing to disregard all of it and go ahead with your own plan. I’m not sure why you posted if you were set on doing this.

[Anonymous]

Oh, PP. That's nice. Your husband is going to LOVE the break from you. So very thoughtful of you to do.

Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

You seem to keep coming here hoping for a moralistic validation for your decision that you've already made. If you're so confident you're not abandoning your child emotionally, why are you back here to swear again that you're not?

[Anonymous]

Are you a troll? No normal person would just post what you did. No decent parent would only be concerned about the legal impact of things.

Legal and emotional are two different things and you disappearing on your kids is going to make them feel abandoned and cause emotional scars.

[Anonymous]

I would never leave my children like this, OP, and when we told you it was abandonment, most of us were talking about the emotional and psychological consequences of it to your child, not the legal aspects.

But go ahead and do whatever you want. Perhaps if your spouse is the primary caretaker, your child won't actually live it as an abandonment experience. But they WILL understand that one parent loves them more than the other.

[Anonymous]

Wow. I would never voluntarily leave my child for a month, unless I was in the armed forces or something where my job and my family's livelihood depended on it.

Then again, there are all kinds of mothers out there.

[Anonymous]

Take my loser spouse with you. Please!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never leave my children like this, OP, and when we told you it was abandonment, most of us were talking about the emotional and psychological consequences of it to your child, not the legal aspects.

But go ahead and do whatever you want. Perhaps if your spouse is the primary caretaker, your child won't actually live it as an abandonment experience. But they WILL understand that one parent loves them more than the other.

YUP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Legal decisions differ from moral ones.

+100

"No son. You have no right to feel abandoned. My lawyer told me so"

+1 op, check yourself.