Every sign, signal, Instinct, etc in the world is telling me to leave

[Anonymous]

To run
But I can’t/won’t bc of our young child
It shouldn’t be this hard
I shouldn’t have had this many doubts for years
I don’t respect him, i often don’t like him, and I don’t need him for finances or romantic satisfaction
We have grown apart and changed
I shouldn’t often dream of an accident or something happening to him as my way out
This is no way to live
But I feel paralyzed and stuck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To run
But I can’t/won’t bc of our young child
It shouldn’t be this hard
I shouldn’t have had this many doubts for years
I don’t respect him, i often don’t like him, and I don’t need him for finances or romantic satisfaction
We have grown apart and changed
I shouldn’t often dream of an accident or something happening to him as my way out
This is no way to live
But I feel paralyzed and stuck

Are you safe? If so there’s no rush to decide.

[Anonymous]

Yes no physical abuse or anything like that
I am safe but miserable
I can’t tell you how many times I have on the tip of my tongue or actually whisper quietly “I want a divorce”
It’s like I whisper it or mouth or silently to try and gather the courage
Inside I am yelling screaming it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes no physical abuse or anything like that
I am safe but miserable
I can’t tell you how many times I have on the tip of my tongue or actually whisper quietly “I want a divorce”
It’s like I whisper it or mouth or silently to try and gather the courage
Inside I am yelling screaming it

As the chlld of divorced parents, I think splitting up was the best thing they could have done. They were unhappy and life got a lot better after the divorce. Divorce is not necessary a bad thing for a kid. It may be worse to live with profoundly unhappy parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes no physical abuse or anything like that
I am safe but miserable
I can’t tell you how many times I have on the tip of my tongue or actually whisper quietly “I want a divorce”
It’s like I whisper it or mouth or silently to try and gather the courage
Inside I am yelling screaming it

As the chlld of divorced parents, I think splitting up was the best thing they could have done. They were unhappy and life got a lot better after the divorce. Divorce is not necessary a bad thing for a kid. It may be worse to live with profoundly unhappy parents.

Being honest hete- I am thinking selfishly…I don’t want to split custody and be away from my child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes no physical abuse or anything like that
I am safe but miserable
I can’t tell you how many times I have on the tip of my tongue or actually whisper quietly “I want a divorce”
It’s like I whisper it or mouth or silently to try and gather the courage
Inside I am yelling screaming it

As the chlld of divorced parents, I think splitting up was the best thing they could have done. They were unhappy and life got a lot better after the divorce. Divorce is not necessary a bad thing for a kid. It may be worse to live with profoundly unhappy parents.

Being honest hete- I am thinking selfishly…I don’t want to split custody and be away from my child

As someone who felt that way you think that now but solo parenting is so hard and you will want to have a social life it is good to have some time to recharge and get your own life/stuff done even if it’s stuff for the family.

[Anonymous]

Is your child safe with your spouse?

[Anonymous]

Can you just decide that you’re going to live the life you want? You don’t have to divorce someone (and give up half custody) to live independently of them.

[Anonymous]

So what ar you doing to repair the relationship? What is the actual problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To run
But I can’t/won’t bc of our young child
It shouldn’t be this hard
I shouldn’t have had this many doubts for years
I don’t respect him, i often don’t like him, and I don’t need him for finances or romantic satisfaction
We have grown apart and changed
I shouldn’t often dream of an accident or something happening to him as my way out
This is no way to live
But I feel paralyzed and stuck

So work on your marriage. This is at least 50% on you. Have you tried counseling?

[Anonymous]

Today's issue: He says I am a horrible communicator. That I complain about things he does/doesnt do, but then don't follow up or give specifics on how to further address the issue. His words: if you want to adjust something with finances, say something. If you want to adjust something re division of labor, suggest it..."
I suggested we sit down this weekend at a specific time, that I will take the weekend to come up with specific details, answers, proposals etc to the issues we have identified. I asked if tomorrow at 8pm works for him for our talk:

his reply: Maybe. I don’t have anything to talk about until you put more effort into responding.

uhhhhhh okie dokie. The person complaining about my inability to communicate well (to his standards/liking) and asking me to follow through....is responding by being passive aggressive and not following through. Cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Today's issue: He says I am a horrible communicator. That I complain about things he does/doesnt do, but then don't follow up or give specifics on how to further address the issue. His words: if you want to adjust something with finances, say something. If you want to adjust something re division of labor, suggest it..."
I suggested we sit down this weekend at a specific time, that I will take the weekend to come up with specific details, answers, proposals etc to the issues we have identified. I asked if tomorrow at 8pm works for him for our talk:

his reply: Maybe. I don’t have anything to talk about until you put more effort into responding.

uhhhhhh okie dokie. The person complaining about my inability to communicate well (to his standards/liking) and asking me to follow through....is responding by being passive aggressive and not following through. Cool.

Then go to therapy to learn how to communicate w each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Today's issue: He says I am a horrible communicator. That I complain about things he does/doesnt do, but then don't follow up or give specifics on how to further address the issue. His words: if you want to adjust something with finances, say something. If you want to adjust something re division of labor, suggest it..."
I suggested we sit down this weekend at a specific time, that I will take the weekend to come up with specific details, answers, proposals etc to the issues we have identified. I asked if tomorrow at 8pm works for him for our talk:

his reply: Maybe. I don’t have anything to talk about until you put more effort into responding.

uhhhhhh okie dokie. The person complaining about my inability to communicate well (to his standards/liking) and asking me to follow through....is responding by being passive aggressive and not following through. Cool.

OK, so there you go. Put together your plan, tell him you have it ready and set a time to discuss. OP, we are only get your side of the story. Guarantee it, dear DCUM readers, there is more to this than we have here from OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today's issue: He says I am a horrible communicator. That I complain about things he does/doesnt do, but then don't follow up or give specifics on how to further address the issue. His words: if you want to adjust something with finances, say something. If you want to adjust something re division of labor, suggest it..."
I suggested we sit down this weekend at a specific time, that I will take the weekend to come up with specific details, answers, proposals etc to the issues we have identified. I asked if tomorrow at 8pm works for him for our talk:

his reply: Maybe. I don’t have anything to talk about until you put more effort into responding.

uhhhhhh okie dokie. The person complaining about my inability to communicate well (to his standards/liking) and asking me to follow through....is responding by being passive aggressive and not following through. Cool.

Then go to therapy to learn how to communicate w each other.

Get out a pad of paper and make a list and give it to him. One list is problems/issues you have and for each, what he can do to make it better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today's issue: He says I am a horrible communicator. That I complain about things he does/doesnt do, but then don't follow up or give specifics on how to further address the issue. His words: if you want to adjust something with finances, say something. If you want to adjust something re division of labor, suggest it..."
I suggested we sit down this weekend at a specific time, that I will take the weekend to come up with specific details, answers, proposals etc to the issues we have identified. I asked if tomorrow at 8pm works for him for our talk:

his reply: Maybe. I don’t have anything to talk about until you put more effort into responding.

uhhhhhh okie dokie. The person complaining about my inability to communicate well (to his standards/liking) and asking me to follow through....is responding by being passive aggressive and not following through. Cool.

Then go to therapy to learn how to communicate w each other.

Get out a pad of paper and make a list and give it to him. One list is problems/issues you have and for each, what he can do to make it better.

If nothing else, this will make you feel better. Sitting on these complaints is corrosive. Make the list comprehensive and give it to him in advance of the convo. Maybe he’ll see that the issues are so many and so serious that the relationship is not sustainable.