Want my new daughter in law’s family to start spending holidays with us

[Anonymous]

My new DIL’s family lives in Portland and we would like her family (her 2 sisters and parents) to spend the holidays at our house in Maryland. We have the space and it just makes sense that they stay here. There’s some pushback from her parents about this and I feel like they need to understand I have an only child and am not okay with splitting up holidays between her family and ours. My son and DIL are fine with this plan but the parents are the ones not being agreeable. Any advice dealing with difficult conversations surrounding this?

[Anonymous]

LOL. No.

[Anonymous]

Back off, lady.

[Anonymous]

You must be trolling because no one would actually think this is remotely reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Yes. You offer and accept the no. It does not matter what you want. You need to accept every other holiday and be happy you get that.

[Anonymous]

You split every other year. That is fair.

[Anonymous]

Hahaha. Good luck. Best way to start having relationships with your in laws go down hill rapidly. No you don’t get first dibs because you have only one child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My new DIL’s family lives in Portland and we would like her family (her 2 sisters and parents) to spend the holidays at our house in Maryland. We have the space and it just makes sense that they stay here. There’s some pushback from her parents about this and I feel like they need to understand I have an only child and am not okay with splitting up holidays between her family and ours. My son and DIL are fine with this plan but the parents are the ones not being agreeable. Any advice dealing with difficult conversations surrounding this?

Let your DIL and son handle it. It's a big ask (selfish one too but i gather you dont care), but hey, you tried.

[Anonymous]

Sorry but it seems like they are not okay with staying with you. If you can be "not okay" with what they want, they can "not okay" you right back. And then what?

[Anonymous]

I guess you should have negotiated this in advance through the marriage broker.

What? You didn't have one? Got nuttin for ya then.

[Anonymous]

OMG you are the problem here. You don't get to dictate.

[Anonymous]

Bahaha! Her two sisters have to fly to you as well? Come on. What about when they marry and have in-laws of their own? This is insane.

[Anonymous]

You are not thinking beyond the immediate goal of spending holidays with your daughter.

The ILs may not be comfortable traveling, they may not be comfortable spending holidays as guests in your house, they may have their friends / extended family / traditions that they want to see over the holidays. They may want simply to spend holidays at their own house.

Your DD is grown, married, and you need to come to terms that her time will now be split between you and in laws, DH, kids and her own life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My new DIL’s family lives in Portland and we would like her family (her 2 sisters and parents) to spend the holidays at our house in Maryland. We have the space and it just makes sense that they stay here. There’s some pushback from her parents about this and I feel like they need to understand I have an only child and am not okay with splitting up holidays between her family and ours. My son and DIL are fine with this plan but the parents are the ones not being agreeable. Any advice dealing with difficult conversations surrounding this?

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Are you sure about this? Perhaps you are a bully and they are afraid to say no. Why do you get to decide where other people vacation on Christmas? The way you deal is accept that you will have to share holidays. Do NOT have a difficult conversation or they may decide not to visit you.

[Anonymous]

Accept every other or risk not all, due to the negativity and pressure on your part.