35 year old brother snaps at mom "I've hated you since I was 13"

[Anonymous]

He did this on his birthday. He was very upset about something his mom said and misinterpreted it. It got quite heated and he badgered her. Eventually, my other brother was smart enough to tell him to leave.

My other brother and I do not ever act this way towards her. We are both younger. We suspect he has anger management/impulse control issues and psychological issues (maybe abandonment). The issues with his mom go back to when he was in middle school.

Perhaps he should seek a therapist to help him control his anger management issues at the very least. He has gone to counselling with my mom in the past and I believe they have seen as least 3 counsellors. Is she perfect? Of course not, but we are never act this way towards her.

[Anonymous]

There is no father in the picture. He passed away when we were teenagers.

[Anonymous]

Or perhaps, she was a crappy mom to him and was a better mom to you.

[Anonymous]

Why do you keep saying 'his mom'? Is she your stepmom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or perhaps, she was a crappy mom to him and was a better mom to you.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or perhaps, she was a crappy mom to him and was a better mom to you.

+1

I don't think so.

[Anonymous]

She treated us all the same in my opinion. We just do not respond the same way.

Is it appropriate to act this way towards a parent?

I have never seen this type of thing play out in other households.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you keep saying 'his mom'? Is she your stepmom?

She is not my stepmom.

[Anonymous]

Well is she a really bad person? A lot of families tend to excuse really bad, neglectful, or mean behavior from a parent because "that's just how mom is" or "dad means his best". They dont want to deal with it.

It's hard to know how to feel about this without knowing more details. But I do find it hard to believe that a really stellar, fantastic parent would raise a child who would say that to them or feel that way in the first place.

Perhaps family counseling is in order for the rest of the family and mom as well.

[Anonymous]

"Is she perfect? Of course not, but we are never act this way towards her."

I find this statement telling. So basically youre willing to overlook and normalize her bad behavior? And you're angry at him for being unwilling to do so?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or perhaps, she was a crappy mom to him and was a better mom to you.

+1

I don't think so.

Again, how you feel about her as a mom and how he does is different. She may have been a much better mom to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She treated us all the same in my opinion. We just do not respond the same way.

Is it appropriate to act this way towards a parent?

I have never seen this type of thing play out in other households.

No parent treats each kid the same despite saying they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Is she perfect? Of course not, but we are never act this way towards her."

I find this statement telling. So basically youre willing to overlook and normalize her bad behavior? And you're angry at him for being unwilling to do so?

Yeah, this is what my husband’s siblings say. His parents were abusive and he is the only one who has maintained firm boundaries since leaving home. I have to wonder what the “misunderstanding” was.

[Anonymous]

This post is reminding me of this video:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Is she perfect? Of course not, but we are never act this way towards her."

I find this statement telling. So basically youre willing to overlook and normalize her bad behavior? And you're angry at him for being unwilling to do so?

Yeah, this is what my husband’s siblings say. His parents were abusive and he is the only one who has maintained firm boundaries since leaving home. I have to wonder what the “misunderstanding” was.

He comes back to her again and again, even though he has a prior history. I try to limit my interactions but be cordial. He probably should have moved to a different city, state or country, but he hasn't