People who treat servers rudely

[Anonymous]

I am a college age server in the NOVA area. I have a few questions.

Why is that so many people are plain rude and condescending to servers? What do you feel entitled to, especially the people that give horrifically low tips? Part of the cost of eating out is the tip. If you can't use a restaurant's table service(meaning sitting down, getting served...) with basic human courtesy, don't pay for it. Go get takeout and sit somewhere else.

Why are we servers getting treated like indentured house servants? We are not the same thing.

Please be a good example for your kids and show how to tip properly and treat servers, who are human beings just like your neighbors or colleagues, with respect. Those of you who demand or yell at servers probably few grew up with parents with the same habits. You are the same kind of entitled people to yell at nurses, public workers, etc. What kind of spouse would you tolerate being with if you saw them yell at a server in public? Wouldn't you be embarrassed?

We make mistakes sometimes just like you do, but that should not enable you to berate and humiliate us in front of a whole restaurant. I'd like to see that happen to you wherever you work. There is always room for human error in every aspect of life, never is it 0%. Accept that as going to any restaurant, 1 or 5 stars. There isn't a guarantee that you'll be satisfied at a $600 ticket restaurant either.

I grew up in an educated upper-middle class family, being privileged enough to eat out at least twice a week. Being a full-time server has really opened my eyes to what's it's like to work as a "blue collar worker." Perhaps those who took on similar jobs as a young adult may remember the experience.

I'm on my way to securing a 6-figure tech job upon graduation and will never return to a job like this again. I'm going to feel sorry as hell for all my immigrant coworkers and everyone working in the hospitality industry that are getting underpaid. Working at this job has made me remember to thank every essential waged worker, including in the hospitality to even provide us the opportunity to enjoy the mouth watering food we crave, especially with the onset of the pandemic.

I just don't understand. My question is WHY do you feel ENTITLED to treat us the way you do? You're just putting yourself at a lower level. I come in work everyday, thinking "who am I gonna be dealing with today?" Sometimes I wake up, thinking "f you in advance specifically to the inherently rude customers who I'm going to be serving today." But I always need to come in serving people with the best attitude no matter what. On behalf of us servers, we will remember your face if you come back in even three months later. None of us want to take us in your section, or we'll end up ignoring you. Glad this forum is anonymous so I can see what really goes on behind people's minds.

Thank you to the people who know what basic respect and courtesy looks like and treats servers fairly. We're not here to antagonize you, we just want you to enjoy your food in the first place. We come to work hoping that you'll treat us as nicely.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for your post. It’s really sad how many entitled pricks there are out in the world. I used to be a server and a hostess myself and go out of my way to be kind to anyone in the service or hospitality industry. I would never associate with anyone who treats other people poorly- to me it’s one of the ugliest types of behavior out there.

[Anonymous]

You are not entitled to a tip.

A standard tip is 15% - less if you do a bad job, more if you do well or someone can afford it/chooses to.

Maybe your service is bad.

[Anonymous]

+ 1

I completely agree. Thirty years ago I waitressed one summer during college at a local chain similar to Denny’s. It was by far the hardest job I’ve ever had and the sub-minimum wage didn’t help matters. Although the tips were low, I was fortunate that most of the customers were nice. There were only a few that demonstrated the kind of rudeness you describe. It gave me a whole new appreciation for those who work at restaurants and I always tip a little extra. I hope that someday they’ll raise the base pay to minimum. While higher pay wouldn’t justify mistreating waitstaff, it would at least be a start in compensating their hard work.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I am not entitled to a tip. I tip 15% more or less under the same criteria, however I'm talking about the people that, despite me being ultra-friendly:

a) Give you a hard time from the start with their bratty family of 4 kids throwing food all over the table, leaving a gargantuan mess, and asking for copious amounts of food to later be wasted and uneaten.

b) Super nice to you from start to end; too suspiciously extra nice. Usually ladies over 40 that do this and tip around $2-$4 despite how large their bill is.

c) Have lived in America their whole life and still suck at tipping because they just never caught on!

[Anonymous]

It is because they have never worked a job like that before in their lives and have no idea what it is like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I am not entitled to a tip. I tip 15% more or less under the same criteria, however I'm talking about the people that, despite me being ultra-friendly:

a) Give you a hard time from the start with their bratty family of 4 kids throwing food all over the table, leaving a gargantuan mess, and asking for copious amounts of food to later be wasted and uneaten.

b) Super nice to you from start to end; too suspiciously extra nice. Usually ladies over 40 that do this and tip around $2-$4 despite how large their bill is.

c) Have lived in America their whole life and still suck at tipping because they just never caught on!

Most people clean up after themselves and if not, its your job.

And, $2-4 may be appropriate if they don't have a large bill. If they go out for lunch and the bill is $12 for one meal, that is appropriate.

You are not entitled to a tip. If you want a salary, then you need to pick another job. You work for tips. Tips are voluntary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not entitled to a tip.

A standard tip is 15% - less if you do a bad job, more if you do well or someone can afford it/chooses to.

Maybe your service is bad.

OP here. Where I work, there isn't much of a tip discrepancy between all of us waiters and waitresses. Everyone encounters bad tips and good tips on occasion. Sometimes ppl will tip badly even if it was kitchen's fault.. we all have different personalities but are at about the same skill level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:+ 1

I completely agree. Thirty years ago I waitressed one summer during college at a local chain similar to Denny’s. It was by far the hardest job I’ve ever had and the sub-minimum wage didn’t help matters. Although the tips were low, I was fortunate that most of the customers were nice. There were only a few that demonstrated the kind of rudeness you describe. It gave me a whole new appreciation for those who work at restaurants and I always tip a little extra. I hope that someday they’ll raise the base pay to minimum. While higher pay wouldn’t justify mistreating waitstaff, it would at least be a start in compensating their hard work.

Most meals at Denny's are $6-10. You aren't going to get a high tip based off that.

You take an order, bring a drink, food, maybe if you are good, check and bring a drink refilled and bring a check.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+ 1

I completely agree. Thirty years ago I waitressed one summer during college at a local chain similar to Denny’s. It was by far the hardest job I’ve ever had and the sub-minimum wage didn’t help matters. Although the tips were low, I was fortunate that most of the customers were nice. There were only a few that demonstrated the kind of rudeness you describe. It gave me a whole new appreciation for those who work at restaurants and I always tip a little extra. I hope that someday they’ll raise the base pay to minimum. While higher pay wouldn’t justify mistreating waitstaff, it would at least be a start in compensating their hard work.

Most meals at Denny's are $6-10. You aren't going to get a high tip based off that.

You take an order, bring a drink, food, maybe if you are good, check and bring a drink refilled and bring a check.

And, now some places have you order off an app, so you bring one drink and the meal (or often someone else does) and bring the check or you pay online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I am not entitled to a tip. I tip 15% more or less under the same criteria, however I'm talking about the people that, despite me being ultra-friendly:

a) Give you a hard time from the start with their bratty family of 4 kids throwing food all over the table, leaving a gargantuan mess, and asking for copious amounts of food to later be wasted and uneaten.

b) Super nice to you from start to end; too suspiciously extra nice. Usually ladies over 40 that do this and tip around $2-$4 despite how large their bill is.

c) Have lived in America their whole life and still suck at tipping because they just never caught on!

Most people clean up after themselves and if not, its your job.

And, $2-4 may be appropriate if they don't have a large bill. If they go out for lunch and the bill is $12 for one meal, that is appropriate.

You are not entitled to a tip. If you want a salary, then you need to pick another job. You work for tips. Tips are voluntary.

Not at my restaurant. We do sit-down, full-service or take-out. Our dishes are always moved to bins in the back of the kitchen, so it's not like you are even allowed to clean up yourself. You are correct - tip given by the customer should be proportional to their bill size. If you don't know yet, eating at 99% of full-service sit down restaurants implies tips are part of the bill. Because technically servers aren't getting paid by the restaurant for their "table-service," you are expected to, other don't sit down at full service tables. Servers don't stand around to take tables for free lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+ 1

I completely agree. Thirty years ago I waitressed one summer during college at a local chain similar to Denny’s. It was by far the hardest job I’ve ever had and the sub-minimum wage didn’t help matters. Although the tips were low, I was fortunate that most of the customers were nice. There were only a few that demonstrated the kind of rudeness you describe. It gave me a whole new appreciation for those who work at restaurants and I always tip a little extra. I hope that someday they’ll raise the base pay to minimum. While higher pay wouldn’t justify mistreating waitstaff, it would at least be a start in compensating their hard work.

Most meals at Denny's are $6-10. You aren't going to get a high tip based off that.

You take an order, bring a drink, food, maybe if you are good, check and bring a drink refilled and bring a check.

Yep, I don't get Denny's. They better pay their servers higher if customers' bills are averaging that low

[Anonymous]

I think everyone should work in the service industry. Your EQ will be off the charts and you'll be a better, kinder person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I am not entitled to a tip. I tip 15% more or less under the same criteria, however I'm talking about the people that, despite me being ultra-friendly:

a) Give you a hard time from the start with their bratty family of 4 kids throwing food all over the table, leaving a gargantuan mess, and asking for copious amounts of food to later be wasted and uneaten.

b) Super nice to you from start to end; too suspiciously extra nice. Usually ladies over 40 that do this and tip around $2-$4 despite how large their bill is.

c) Have lived in America their whole life and still suck at tipping because they just never caught on!

Most people clean up after themselves and if not, its your job.

And, $2-4 may be appropriate if they don't have a large bill. If they go out for lunch and the bill is $12 for one meal, that is appropriate.

You are not entitled to a tip. If you want a salary, then you need to pick another job. You work for tips. Tips are voluntary.

Not at my restaurant. We do sit-down, full-service or take-out. Our dishes are always moved to bins in the back of the kitchen, so it's not like you are even allowed to clean up yourself. You are correct - tip given by the customer should be proportional to their bill size. If you don't know yet, eating at 99% of full-service sit down restaurants implies tips are part of the bill. Because technically servers aren't getting paid by the restaurant for their "table-service," you are expected to, other don't sit down at full service tables. Servers don't stand around to take tables for free lol

Actually you do basically work for free and anything you get in terms of a tip is a bonus. A tip is not a salary/income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+ 1

I completely agree. Thirty years ago I waitressed one summer during college at a local chain similar to Denny’s. It was by far the hardest job I’ve ever had and the sub-minimum wage didn’t help matters. Although the tips were low, I was fortunate that most of the customers were nice. There were only a few that demonstrated the kind of rudeness you describe. It gave me a whole new appreciation for those who work at restaurants and I always tip a little extra. I hope that someday they’ll raise the base pay to minimum. While higher pay wouldn’t justify mistreating waitstaff, it would at least be a start in compensating their hard work.

Most meals at Denny's are $6-10. You aren't going to get a high tip based off that.

You take an order, bring a drink, food, maybe if you are good, check and bring a drink refilled and bring a check.

Yep, I don't get Denny's. They better pay their servers higher if customers' bills are averaging that low

Restaurants should pay staff salaries and just get rid of tipping. Problem solved.