School accused my 8 yo DD of stealing a tablet and threatened her with a “permanent record”

[Anonymous]

DD’s tablet was not working a few weeks ago and the school told us to come exchange it for a different one, which we did.

Apparently, they never documented that we changed tablets and instead in their system it showed DD as having two tablets.

Yesterday, they asked us if we had the other tablet and I explained that we never had 2-we brought the old one back and got the new one.

Today, DD was called into the office where they accused her of stealing the tablet, and told her that if she did not confess or bring it back that it would go on her permanent record. She cried and explained she never had two tablets.

The school later found the tablet somewhere within the building and they claim they apologized to DD, but I feel this never should have happened. They deny that they accused her or used the word thief, but admitted that they did explain that IF she had stolen the tablet it would go on her permanent record.

DD is very upset. I am unsure what to do now. I can’t believe this happened.

Any advice for me? I was thinking to request a meeting with the school or writing a letter to them.

[Anonymous]

Lol at permanent record. I mean, I am sorry because I am sure that was traumatizing to be called into the office. But LOLOLOL at “permanent record.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol at permanent record. I mean, I am sorry because I am sure that was traumatizing to be called into the office. But LOLOLOL at “permanent record.”

Op here. I mean she’s 8 years old and was alone, and also, we had ALREADY told them she never had two tablets, and it all ended up being the school’s fault.

I should also mention that she has a developmental disability and is on an IEP and we are not native English speakers.

[Anonymous]

Wow. The fact that you told them yesterday that you exchanged it and they still called her to the office to talk about stealing is so over the top crazy. I would definitely be writing emails and copying everyone up the chain. At a minimum they owe your daughter an apology.

[Anonymous]

Have a meeting with the school and document document document what happened. Make sure they apologize to your daughter and that this doesn't go on her record.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Have a meeting with the school and document document document what happened. Make sure they apologize to your daughter and that this doesn't go on her record.

No point in documenting. For what purpose? Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Have a meeting with the school and document document document what happened. Make sure they apologize to your daughter and that this doesn't go on her record.

No point in documenting. For what purpose? Sheesh.

They forgot they talked to mom yesterday, how do you know they aren’t going to forget they found the iPad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol at permanent record. I mean, I am sorry because I am sure that was traumatizing to be called into the office. But LOLOLOL at “permanent record.”

+1. I would be furious because they frightened my DD. But I would also explain to her there is no such thing as a permanent school record and that threat is BS. Unfortunate that she has to learn so early to laugh at school authority, though: that's not great.

PP who said you need a written acknowledgement in case they forget again has a good point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Have a meeting with the school and document document document what happened. Make sure they apologize to your daughter and that this doesn't go on her record.

No point in documenting. For what purpose? Sheesh.

I’d want that in my back pocket if they ever accused her of anything else. Seems like they are quick to judgment and have no problems threatening punishment without facts

[Anonymous]

I would want it on THEIR permanent record that they scared a small child and threatened her even though they knew she did absolutely nothing wrong. I would certainly be writing emails, CCing everyone up to the superintendent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol at permanent record. I mean, I am sorry because I am sure that was traumatizing to be called into the office. But LOLOLOL at “permanent record.”

Op here. I mean she’s 8 years old and was alone, and also, we had ALREADY told them she never had two tablets, and it all ended up being the school’s fault.

I should also mention that she has a developmental disability and is on an IEP and we are not native English speakers.

Frame it as a learning experience to her. A valuable one at that. That:

1) People make mistakes, even adults

2) People say things they later regret

3) We should forgive

4) Forgiveness means we give 2nd chance, but not same as forgetting

5) Some people do steal, so she should watch her electronics

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol at permanent record. I mean, I am sorry because I am sure that was traumatizing to be called into the office. But LOLOLOL at “permanent record.”

Op here. I mean she’s 8 years old and was alone, and also, we had ALREADY told them she never had two tablets, and it all ended up being the school’s fault.

I should also mention that she has a developmental disability and is on an IEP and we are not native English speakers.

Frame it as a learning experience to her. A valuable one at that. That:

1) People make mistakes, even adults

2) People say things they later regret

3) We should forgive

4) Forgiveness means we give 2nd chance, but not same as forgetting

5) Some people do steal, so she should watch her electronics

6) Picking and choosing our battles. What is to be won by fighting? If the apologized, they apologized. It's done

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol at permanent record. I mean, I am sorry because I am sure that was traumatizing to be called into the office. But LOLOLOL at “permanent record.”

Op here. I mean she’s 8 years old and was alone, and also, we had ALREADY told them she never had two tablets, and it all ended up being the school’s fault.

I should also mention that she has a developmental disability and is on an IEP and we are not native English speakers.

Frame it as a learning experience to her. A valuable one at that. That:

1) People make mistakes, even adults

2) People say things they later regret

3) We should forgive

4) Forgiveness means we give 2nd chance, but not same as forgetting

5) Some people do steal, so she should watch her electronics

Excellent list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would want it on THEIR permanent record that they scared a small child and threatened her even though they knew she did absolutely nothing wrong. I would certainly be writing emails, CCing everyone up to the superintendent.

+1

Actually because the daughter is on the IEP, this needs to be fully documented. Trust me when I say that you cannot trust the school here, and you need this documented for the next time they try to harm your daughter (which they will).

[Anonymous]

What school was this at, if I may ask?

Something similar happened at my kid's Loudoun County elementary school.

This was one in a long series of small indignities dumped by school staff on the children. Unfairly targeting and accusing kids is not okay. This is the kind of unfair treatment that will scar a child. I'd make a stink about it and document it in a letter to the principal, cc'd to the school administration if I was not satisfied with the apology.