How much do you care what your significant other wears?

[Anonymous]

Do you care what your partner wears? Outside torn, stained, or soiled clothing, does the style really matter? Do you ask your partner to wear something or buy them clothing? Does their clothing choices affect your desire/attraction to them?

I’m a late 40s married woman who doesn’t care about fashion. I typically wear jeans and a T-shirt or sweater/sweatshirt most days. I wear dress pants and a sweater/blouse for work. DH and I have an active sex life, so I don’t think he really cares. I got to thinking whether I should wear something else. I hate dresses/skirts as I have chunky legs and I don’t feel comfortable at my age in form fitting clothes. DH isn’t the type to say anything.

[Anonymous]

DH doesn’t really wear anything exciting or objectionable. He’s from the Deep South so he likes when I wear dresses and heels, but he has never said anything if I put on dress slacks or flats instead.

[Anonymous]

I think there is an incredibly wide variety of what "jeans and a t-shirt" can mean. I'd buy new stuff every few years to make sure the cuts and silhouettes are keeping a bit. It doesn't have to be trendy, but if you are still wearing jeans from college 10+ years ago, it's probably time for an update.

Look around at other women whose style you like. They don't need to be trendy, and you don't have to make all the same choices, but it's a good way to gauge what needs refreshing in your own wardrobe.

Beyond that, I don't think the details of what you wear matter much. If you are comfortable, and dressing appropriately for the occasion, no issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there is an incredibly wide variety of what "jeans and a t-shirt" can mean. I'd buy new stuff every few years to make sure the cuts and silhouettes are keeping a bit. It doesn't have to be trendy, but if you are still wearing jeans from college 10+ years ago, it's probably time for an update.

Look around at other women whose style you like. They don't need to be trendy, and you don't have to make all the same choices, but it's a good way to gauge what needs refreshing in your own wardrobe.

Beyond that, I don't think the details of what you wear matter much. If you are comfortable, and dressing appropriately for the occasion, no issues.

This is where I am with what my husband wears. His jeans from 10 years ago look frumpy now. I do buy clothes for him to refresh a bit, keeping with what is his style and preferences.

[Anonymous]

I care that he knows how to dress for the occasion. I care that he's not wearing stained clothes or clothes full of holes. I will tell him when he looks nice in something, but I'm not a woman who shop for her man.

[Anonymous]

I avoid dressing for other people in part because I don’t want to set them up for failure, if that makes sense. Like what if I went out of my way to get sexy, DH didn’t notice, and then I was bummed that I did all that work for nothing.

Plus I just like the feeling of autonomy knowing that the way I dress is solely to make me happy. Sometimes I love looking great, sometimes I love dressing frumpy.

Sometimes he tells me if something is unflattering though, and that sounds mean but I don’t mind. If I knew it was unflattering but I didn’t care, I just tell him that, but sometimes i think I look cute and if I was so I wrong that DH felt compelled to let me know, I keep that in mind. It’s like letting me know I have spinach in my teeth or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I avoid dressing for other people in part because I don’t want to set them up for failure, if that makes sense. Like what if I went out of my way to get sexy, DH didn’t notice, and then I was bummed that I did all that work for nothing.

Plus I just like the feeling of autonomy knowing that the way I dress is solely to make me happy. Sometimes I love looking great, sometimes I love dressing frumpy.

Sometimes he tells me if something is unflattering though, and that sounds mean but I don’t mind. If I knew it was unflattering but I didn’t care, I just tell him that, but sometimes i think I look cute and if I was so I wrong that DH felt compelled to let me know, I keep that in mind. It’s like letting me know I have spinach in my teeth or something.

And I forgot to answer your question!

Yes I care a little bit. Just like he would tell me if I didn’t look as good as I thought, I would do the same for him. But it’s about general style and not dressing for me.

[Anonymous]

My SO doesn't wear shoes in public places and it's absolutely DISGUSTING

[Anonymous]

My SO only wears black, to hide her weight gain. I wish she'd change it up and add more color to her wardrobe.

I also am turned on by mid-calf and thigh boots. She won't wear them. Only flat shoes for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is an incredibly wide variety of what "jeans and a t-shirt" can mean. I'd buy new stuff every few years to make sure the cuts and silhouettes are keeping a bit. It doesn't have to be trendy, but if you are still wearing jeans from college 10+ years ago, it's probably time for an update.

Look around at other women whose style you like. They don't need to be trendy, and you don't have to make all the same choices, but it's a good way to gauge what needs refreshing in your own wardrobe.

Beyond that, I don't think the details of what you wear matter much. If you are comfortable, and dressing appropriately for the occasion, no issues.

This is where I am with what my husband wears. His jeans from 10 years ago look frumpy now. I do buy clothes for him to refresh a bit, keeping with what is his style and preferences.

OP here. I wear clothes from years ago. It feels wasteful to me to get rid of them. I feel the same about buying new clothes. I already have enough to wear, so it feels like a waste of money to buy more.

I do look at other women’s outfits, but I have a hard time imagining how those clothes would look on me. It’s outside of my comfort zone.

I think I dress appropriately for where we go. It’s just that we don’t really go anywhere that would require dressier attire. We make decent salaries (HHI $350K), we just don’t eat at expensive restaurants or go to shows (I’ve never been to the Kennedy Center).

DH bought me 2 casual dresses, and I didn’t like the way they looked on me so I never wear them. He has comments to friends in the past he likes how some Latina women dress and weather girls. It’s just not me at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My SO doesn't wear shoes in public places and it's absolutely DISGUSTING

Context?

Like ever? Or does he slip his shoes off at the movie theater before reclining. Is he in bare feet or socks?

[Anonymous]

I no longer care because he doesn’t care either.
He dresses like a slob version of Charlie Brown at home- same 3 worn out striped polo shirts. Hates anything gifted to him and most colors.

Dresses normal business shirts for work but destroys them all in 6 months via rolling up sleeves asap and busting out the elbows. Then he just orders 6 more and rips those in short order.

It’s careless and stupid and big if he loses his job again he’ll have to fix his lazy habits.

[Anonymous]

Day to day--don't care at all.

IF we are going out---we both usually say 'how does this look' or get each other's advice. Ultimately, my spouse (and myself) are the ones I'm dressing for.

[Anonymous]

I am very athletic, work out every day and walk a ton, so it is super important for me that my clothes and shoes are comfy. I would live in yoga pants and sneakers if I could. Dressing up for me means putting on jeans, a blouse and some nice flats to go for dinner. My DH (silently) hates that. Ideally he would want me in sexy dresses and heels at all times. He never says that directly, but rarely fails to point out a woman who is dressed according to that standard. For me it is mostly the heels. I hate how they restrict my movement, hurt my feet and tighten up my calves. He on the other hand believes that driving somewhere and then sitting all night because my feet would kill me otherwise is perfectly fine as long as I look good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am very athletic, work out every day and walk a ton, so it is super important for me that my clothes and shoes are comfy. I would live in yoga pants and sneakers if I could. Dressing up for me means putting on jeans, a blouse and some nice flats to go for dinner. My DH (silently) hates that. Ideally he would want me in sexy dresses and heels at all times. He never says that directly, but rarely fails to point out a woman who is dressed according to that standard. For me it is mostly the heels. I hate how they restrict my movement, hurt my feet and tighten up my calves. He on the other hand believes that driving somewhere and then sitting all night because my feet would kill me otherwise is perfectly fine as long as I look good.

Ha. What does he wear?

(I live in workout clothes too and have worn heels once in the past 10 years)