How much do you care what your significant other wears?

[Anonymous]

Jeans and tshirt are fine with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is an incredibly wide variety of what "jeans and a t-shirt" can mean. I'd buy new stuff every few years to make sure the cuts and silhouettes are keeping a bit. It doesn't have to be trendy, but if you are still wearing jeans from college 10+ years ago, it's probably time for an update.

Look around at other women whose style you like. They don't need to be trendy, and you don't have to make all the same choices, but it's a good way to gauge what needs refreshing in your own wardrobe.

Beyond that, I don't think the details of what you wear matter much. If you are comfortable, and dressing appropriately for the occasion, no issues.

This is where I am with what my husband wears. His jeans from 10 years ago look frumpy now. I do buy clothes for him to refresh a bit, keeping with what is his style and preferences.

OP here. I wear clothes from years ago. It feels wasteful to me to get rid of them. I feel the same about buying new clothes. I already have enough to wear, so it feels like a waste of money to buy more.

I do look at other women’s outfits, but I have a hard time imagining how those clothes would look on me. It’s outside of my comfort zone.

I think I dress appropriately for where we go. It’s just that we don’t really go anywhere that would require dressier attire. We make decent salaries (HHI $350K), we just don’t eat at expensive restaurants or go to shows (I’ve never been to the Kennedy Center).

DH bought me 2 casual dresses, and I didn’t like the way they looked on me so I never wear them. He has comments to friends in the past he likes how some Latina women dress and weather girls. It’s just not me at all.

Ok so there is a HUGE middle ground between Latina bombshells and frumpy (possibly?) jeans and a t-shirt.

How about a nice blouse? A date night outfit that shows just a little more? You still want to be comfortable, but there has to be something that you put on that makes you think "yup this looks great" even if you don't wear it daily. Wearing it sometimes is ok too! I used to wear a lot of heels, and now I don't. But I don't just do boring ballet flats. Get some cute sandals, or a chunky low heel booties, or whatever feels attainable to you. Maybe find a dress you DO like, not what your DH bought you. Make sure you have shoes to go with it that you also like, but that maybe look more exciting than your normal things.

Even if you are doing jeans and sneakers, what sneakers are you wearing? Old beat up dirty ones? Do you have a "nice" pair? If you wear a button down, is it a bit fitted, or just baggy and loose?

You make a huge amount of money. Go to Nordstrom and buy some nice casual clothes that look good and are comfy.

Thank you for the thoughtful response. I probably just need to get over it and try harder. I don’t really think fancier/more expensive clothes look any better on my mom bod. DH has been very understanding with my issues. I just felt a little guilty lately that I feel more comfortable in my regular duds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I definitely care and DH definitely cares.

Why wouldn’t you want to look nice?

I think it’s more that aging bodies don’t necessarily look “good” in many types of clothes. You can look presentable, but it’s so different than when you’re younger.

[Anonymous]

Love my DH in his old T-shirts, sweatshirts, and ripped up stuff. Also love when he wears a nice shirt for work or date. In general he dresses really well. I do buy him sweaters and things from time to time if I think the color will look nice on him. He doesn’t like shopping for himself but he enjoys when I find things for him.

I dress up for work, dates, girls’ nights out. I love comfortable clothes that are feminine. Even around the house I like wearing nice pajamas or leggings and a sweatshirt that fits well. It’s mostly for fun and because I enjoy the look and feel of different fabrics, colors, prints. Sometimes people think fashion is about looking a certain way for others, but that takes all the fun out of it.

[Anonymous]

I don't care much. DH has a uniform of sorts and it's fine with me.

I know he does care a little bit about what I wear. For example, he would never wear athletic shorts or pants outside the house unless actively working out. He made a comment (years ago) because I always wore gym shorts when we were out running errands on the weekends. I wasn't too upset, but suprised that he cared. Nowadays, he'll remark if he likes an outfit, but no critical comments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is an incredibly wide variety of what "jeans and a t-shirt" can mean. I'd buy new stuff every few years to make sure the cuts and silhouettes are keeping a bit. It doesn't have to be trendy, but if you are still wearing jeans from college 10+ years ago, it's probably time for an update.

Look around at other women whose style you like. They don't need to be trendy, and you don't have to make all the same choices, but it's a good way to gauge what needs refreshing in your own wardrobe.

Beyond that, I don't think the details of what you wear matter much. If you are comfortable, and dressing appropriately for the occasion, no issues.

This is where I am with what my husband wears. His jeans from 10 years ago look frumpy now. I do buy clothes for him to refresh a bit, keeping with what is his style and preferences.

OP here. I wear clothes from years ago. It feels wasteful to me to get rid of them. I feel the same about buying new clothes. I already have enough to wear, so it feels like a waste of money to buy more.

I do look at other women’s outfits, but I have a hard time imagining how those clothes would look on me. It’s outside of my comfort zone.

I think I dress appropriately for where we go. It’s just that we don’t really go anywhere that would require dressier attire. We make decent salaries (HHI $350K), we just don’t eat at expensive restaurants or go to shows (I’ve never been to the Kennedy Center).

DH bought me 2 casual dresses, and I didn’t like the way they looked on me so I never wear them. He has comments to friends in the past he likes how some Latina women dress and weather girls. It’s just not me at all.

Ok so there is a HUGE middle ground between Latina bombshells and frumpy (possibly?) jeans and a t-shirt.

How about a nice blouse? A date night outfit that shows just a little more? You still want to be comfortable, but there has to be something that you put on that makes you think "yup this looks great" even if you don't wear it daily. Wearing it sometimes is ok too! I used to wear a lot of heels, and now I don't. But I don't just do boring ballet flats. Get some cute sandals, or a chunky low heel booties, or whatever feels attainable to you. Maybe find a dress you DO like, not what your DH bought you. Make sure you have shoes to go with it that you also like, but that maybe look more exciting than your normal things.

Even if you are doing jeans and sneakers, what sneakers are you wearing? Old beat up dirty ones? Do you have a "nice" pair? If you wear a button down, is it a bit fitted, or just baggy and loose?

You make a huge amount of money. Go to Nordstrom and buy some nice casual clothes that look good and are comfy.

Thank you for the thoughtful response. I probably just need to get over it and try harder. I don’t really think fancier/more expensive clothes look any better on my mom bod. DH has been very understanding with my issues. I just felt a little guilty lately that I feel more comfortable in my regular duds.

NP a stylist could help you find what you love. Don’t approach it from the standpoint of what you “should” wear or how you “should” dress. Have fun. See what fabrics feel good on your skin. See what colors you like. Play with different styles to see what’s comfortable and works on your build. You can also bring pictures of what you feel comfortable in and say you are looking for an elevated version of your everyday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I definitely care and DH definitely cares.

Why wouldn’t you want to look nice?

I think it’s more that aging bodies don’t necessarily look “good” in many types of clothes. You can look presentable, but it’s so different than when you’re younger.

It goes both ways though right? When you’re young you can look good in a paper bag. It’s when you’re oldsd that putting a little extra attention goes a long way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I definitely care and DH definitely cares.

Why wouldn’t you want to look nice?

I always want to look nice, it’s just that sometimes I fail or I don’t feel like putting in the effort. Or I decide that comfort is my priority. Which is the case 99% of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I definitely care and DH definitely cares.

Why wouldn’t you want to look nice?

I always want to look nice, it’s just that sometimes I fail or I don’t feel like putting in the effort. Or I decide that comfort is my priority. Which is the case 99% of the time.

Why can you look good and be comfortable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I definitely care and DH definitely cares.

Why wouldn’t you want to look nice?

I always want to look nice, it’s just that sometimes I fail or I don’t feel like putting in the effort. Or I decide that comfort is my priority. Which is the case 99% of the time.

Why can you look good and be comfortable?

You mean can’t, right?

I don’t know, it’s a law of the universe. I didn’t make the rule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I definitely care and DH definitely cares.

Why wouldn’t you want to look nice?

I always want to look nice, it’s just that sometimes I fail or I don’t feel like putting in the effort. Or I decide that comfort is my priority. Which is the case 99% of the time.

Why can you look good and be comfortable?

You mean can’t, right?

I don’t know, it’s a law of the universe. I didn’t make the rule.

DP. It’s definitely not! Even if I’m just in PJs, there are so many cute ones. They make really comfortable lounge clothes now.

[Anonymous]

30’s here and I definitely care how my wife presents herself when we go out. Who wants to be married to someone that gives zero effort in how they look? I think It’s important for spouses to look decent for each other and not get too comfortable…no one wants to be around someone whose dowdy and tattered looking.

I think it helps keep the spark alive and enhances your overall attractiveness. And if you can “put yourself together” when you go to work (so all of your coworkers can see the best version of you), but look like a slouch at home, you may want to rethink that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:30’s here and I definitely care how my wife presents herself when we go out. Who wants to be married to someone that gives zero effort in how they look? I think It’s important for spouses to look decent for each other and not get too comfortable…no one wants to be around someone whose dowdy and tattered looking.

I think it helps keep the spark alive and enhances your overall attractiveness. And if you can “put yourself together” when you go to work (so all of your coworkers can see the best version of you), but look like a slouch at home, you may want to rethink that.

I think likes are generally attracted to likes. Men who care whether their wife has a dressed up when they go out pair with women who like to dress up. Most men want a hot wife, but DH says he would never want a high maintenance woman. When we see women who are decked out at a restaurant, he says she looks like high maintenance.

Putting one’s self together for work is pants and a sweater or a suit. Nothing sexy about that.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, the WFH experience has taken informal to unfortunate levels.

[Anonymous]

Could not care less.
I’ve had friends pull me aside to make comments about boyfriends’ clothing. I think it’s rude of them.