Feeling Sad About Breakup

[Anonymous]

Why am I feeling sad sometimes about a recent breakup? was dating someone I really liked. It was not long-term. We were only seeing each other for about four months. But I have days where I just am sad or will have a moment where I am sad. As an example, I went out somewhere tonight and passed a cafe where we had our first date, and I was suddenly sad. I was not as sad about ending a 23 year marriage as I am over this at times. And last Monday, I was actually depressed. I snapped out of it by the afternoon, but I cannot figure out what is happening. What, exactly, am I sad about? At first, when she told me she wanted to end out dating life, I felt rejected. I don't feel that anymore. Maybe it is just missing someone who was there, with whom I was intimate emotionally and physically and now they are not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why am I feeling sad sometimes about a recent breakup? was dating someone I really liked. It was not long-term. We were only seeing each other for about four months. But I have days where I just am sad or will have a moment where I am sad. As an example, I went out somewhere tonight and passed a cafe where we had our first date, and I was suddenly sad. I was not as sad about ending a 23 year marriage as I am over this at times. And last Monday, I was actually depressed. I snapped out of it by the afternoon, but I cannot figure out what is happening. What, exactly, am I sad about? At first, when she told me she wanted to end out dating life, I felt rejected. I don't feel that anymore. Maybe it is just missing someone who was there, with whom I was intimate emotionally and physically and now they are not?

You opened your heart to someone and you miss them. That’s only natural. Give it a beat. Maybe you can resuscitate this.

[Anonymous]

You should read about the dude that blew up his affair and has been whining and moaning about it for a week now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why am I feeling sad sometimes about a recent breakup? was dating someone I really liked. It was not long-term. We were only seeing each other for about four months. But I have days where I just am sad or will have a moment where I am sad. As an example, I went out somewhere tonight and passed a cafe where we had our first date, and I was suddenly sad. I was not as sad about ending a 23 year marriage as I am over this at times. And last Monday, I was actually depressed. I snapped out of it by the afternoon, but I cannot figure out what is happening. What, exactly, am I sad about? At first, when she told me she wanted to end out dating life, I felt rejected. I don't feel that anymore. Maybe it is just missing someone who was there, with whom I was intimate emotionally and physically and now they are not?

You opened your heart to someone and you miss them. That’s only natural. Give it a beat. Maybe you can resuscitate this.

The relationship?

[Anonymous]

Maybe I’ll feel better?

[Anonymous]

You feel this way because you are old and don't think you will have great success on the dating scene. You liked, her but not as much as you like the idea o not being alone. You don't know how to be alone. Having her around let you think you were winning the divroce. Now you are just alone and you have to process everything about your life without distractions.

[Anonymous]

How long ago was the breakup. If it was a year ago, then its odd. If it was a couple of weeks ago, then its normal.

[Anonymous]

You are likely grieving what could have been.

Meaning the loss of a dream per say…..a projected future together.

Loss of anything sucks but loss of love/life is the worst. 💔

Try to do any + everything you can to focus on YOU right now.
Get plenty of rest, take daily walks and make sure you keep your house up.
Do not let yourself fall down the rabbit hole.

Shower daily and make sure you are drinking lots of water.
Most important: distraction.
Spend time in the company of other people.
Learn new things.
Participate in an old or new hobby.

Do not forget to focus on gratitude.
Someone, somewhere definitely has it much worse than you do.

Wishing you the best!

[Anonymous]

OP must be a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are likely grieving what could have been.

Meaning the loss of a dream per say…..a projected future together.

Loss of anything sucks but loss of love/life is the worst. 💔

Try to do any + everything you can to focus on YOU right now.
Get plenty of rest, take daily walks and make sure you keep your house up.
Do not let yourself fall down the rabbit hole.

Shower daily and make sure you are drinking lots of water.
Most important: distraction.
Spend time in the company of other people.
Learn new things.
Participate in an old or new hobby.

Do not forget to focus on gratitude.
Someone, somewhere definitely has it much worse than you do.

Wishing you the best!

Thank you. It comes and it goes. Last Monday, was the worst. I didn't want to get out of bed, then bounced back by the afternoon and the rest of the week was great. I am getting out and spending time with other people when I am not working 24/7. Exercise,yoga, meditation are all part of my daily routine. But last night and now this morning tears off and on. I can only equate it to when a family member or beloved pet died. The breakup wasn't bad or tumultuous. I accepted - as hard as it may be - that she didn't want to be romantic anymore. There were warning signs as we did get romantic and physical that it might not last, but perhaps I hoped for more. Oh well.... life will go on. I'll just need to do some deep breathing to get through this day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP must be a woman.

Yes. She said she has 'cried on and off'. That is very atypical for a man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP must be a woman.

Yes. She said she has 'cried on and off'. That is very atypical for a man.

so is yoga

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP must be a woman.

Yes. She said she has 'cried on and off'. That is very atypical for a man.

so is yoga

I am a man and I do yoga. I do it to complement the other parts of my exercise regimen - running, weights, swimming and cycling - to stretch my muscles and ligaments as well as calm my mind. And for for what it's worth, men are emotional beings just as woman are and we do cry. So stop with the shaming on that. It's why so many men are emotionally f**ked up, because our society and their mothers tell them things like "big boys don't cry." Now, when my father died, I did not cry at the funeral. I held it all in and together because I did not want to be part of all the wailing women - esp. my aunts - who were there. It was particularly hard to do that when the firing party fired the 21 gun salute and then the bugler played taps. Three months later I was in the shower, and the tears just flowed and flowed.

So many women just do not understand men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP must be a woman.

Yes. She said she has 'cried on and off'. That is very atypical for a man.

Man who cried years ago when a relationship ended. Trust me, I'm a masculine guy. Was angry and confused with a lot of other stuff going on in my life. What sucked even more was we passed each other on the street about six months later and she just nodded her head and walked on by. Happily married now by it really is not atypical for a man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP must be a woman.

Yes. She said she has 'cried on and off'. That is very atypical for a man.

Actually, on average men take longer to get over a break up than women.