Feeling Sad About Breakup

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been in your shoes. I had a 7-month relationship last year that ended around January 1, 2021. We stopped speaking in March. It has taken me most of this year to get over it. I am over it now. But I was still missing him even as recently as August.

I had no issue with getting divorced after 10 years. It was a bad marriage. I found the breakup to be far harder than a divorce...there was nothing there. I really liked the 7-month guy. I think it was because I was starting to fall in love and I did not think I could ever do that again. To have that end abruptly was very, very hard. I also felt that I had been a fool for trusting again. It's hard. I get it. Give it more time.

I was dating someone for just over a year when it ended badly and we never spoke again. It was pretty obvious in the last couple of months that it was sinking. Yet, I was devastated for a long time. A psychologist told me, "maybe you were taking a break from yourself".

Maybe in your case it was the same thing. We meet someone who is generally attractive with good personality traits and it takes us away from feeling alone or incapable of finding love. Then when it ends, it's like a bomb dropped.

I don’t understand your psychologist at all. That seems like an incredibly hurtful thing to say.

I completely get it. It wasn't necessarily the person or the relationship--they took you out of the pain and sadness of the divorce or loneliness. People also have affairs to escape what they don't like about themselves as well. The key: escape from themselves.