Daycare guilt
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Anonymous
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Am I the only one whose heart drops when I take my kids to daycare? Our center has cameras and everytime I check in, I feel something close to grief when I see my little girls there. For many reasons, nannies/au pair/home daycare aren't for us. We love our daycare and our kids are thriving. I just can't NOT feel my heart sink, to the point of feeling like I want to cry, every time I think of them being there.
Please don't be harsh. I feel like something is wrong with me. |
Anonymous
Focus on that and stop checking the camera. |
Anonymous
| Have you considered opening a home based childcare. |
Anonymous
| I agree that you should stop checking the cameras. What about them being at daycare makes your heart sink, exactly? |
Anonymous
Are you sure you shouldn't revisit those reasons? If you feel so terrible every time you check in on your girls, maybe this is your gut telling you that it isn't the best option for you and your kids (right now, at least). |
Anonymous
| Why did you decide against a nanny? We have a wonderful, loving nanny and I don’t feel bad at all leaving my little ones at home with her. They both love her so much and she keeps them engaged and active. I looked at daycare when our toddler was born and knew I couldn’t do it. It was a great daycare but I just knew I couldn’t leave them there. With two kids the cost is almost equal. |
Anonymous
| How old are you kids? |
Anonymous
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Im OP. My kids are 1 and 3.
We have been through a few nannies that we liked, but weren't as covid safe as the daycare we are in (older DD was there pre pandemic). My kids were getting no social time because we didnt know if the random park friends were on our risk level/vaccinated etc. I feel guilt that im not there with them. Mostly with my 1yo. 3yo is in love with the place!!! But my 1yo... I just see her toddling around there and feel like I have abandoned her. It just feels so wrong. I honestly want to cry just thinking about it |
Anonymous
You might have ppd, check with your doctors. |
Anonymous
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I don’t understand how 1 nanny is more dangerous than 4+ adults and a bunch of little kids indoor.
That aside, I understand your feeling and I feel guilty when I leave my 2.5 year old with our AMAZING nanny because he wants to stay with me. He is happy in preschool (3 hours), but when I pick him up he does not want to stay with the nanny… it breaks my heart. All of that to say that it might not feel different dropping him/her off with a nanny… it’s moms’ guilt… always there… always thinking I could do more or differently |
Anonymous
| Don’t doubt your gut feelings, OP. Sounds like something is wrong. |
Anonymous
Kindly, i think this is a problem with OP, not the daycare. I don’t think the strength of these feelings is normal, and am also wondering about PPD or depression or anxiety. |
Anonymous
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My one year old has bawled (tears and screaming) at dropoff and pickup every day since we started daycare at the begining of Sept. He's the only one crying hysterically each morning.
I feel like shit dropping him off every day. At what point do we accept daycare is not for him? If he's still crying in January? |
Anonymous
How is he the rest of the day? Usually when full time 2-4 weeks to transition in for the most part. If part time it can take longer, and some just don't settle in when part time. Even when mostly settled in, some come crashing in hard and fall apart once they know pick ups are starting. |
Anonymous
Geez, how is it possible to be so covid unsafe that daycare is safer?! That simply isn’t possible, OP. And you don’t know if outdoor park friends share your covid risk level but you trust the parents and families of every kid in indoor daycare and every teacher and their families ?!! You’re definitely feeling guilty about something, OP. But no one can help you if you aren’t honest. |