“I took time out of my busy day to help YOU out”

[Anonymous]

I got a call from DS’s private school today. Another kid in class tested positive so the class needs to go into quarantine for 10 days, can I come pick DS up.
Sure. I get out of work, which isn’t easy, I head over, though I did notice they called me first, and that all the other people picking up were moms.

I work. DH works. He makes more money and I only recently went back to work, but we both work.

On the way home I call three pharmacies - none of which have rapid COVID tests or appointments available until Friday. We go to urgent care at THREE places-5 hour wait minimum, and we can’t leave the premises. No appointments til Friday. I call DH and ask him to help.

After 2 hours of searching I finally find an appointment at a small private pharmacy, simultaneously DH gets an appointment at a local hospital.
He calls to tell me and then gets pissed b/c I am already on my way to the other appointment. Tells me, “I took time out of my busy day to help
you, and you should go to this appointment.” I’m like -WTH-this is your child too. Then he proceeds to tell me he doesn’t want to ask for any time off (even though he has it) b/c it’ll inconvenience his work. I have a job too! Not only that, but it’s a somewhat new job, only one month in, and I can’t suddenly ask for 10 days off to watch DS during his required quarantine.

Big fight.
Finally he asks his work and we split the days of coverage.

DH is a nice guy. But so clueless sometimes. So clueless. Now he’s acting like he’s a big savior for getting 5 days off to watch his child. Wants me to thank him profusely.

I’m so sick of COVID.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. I have no advice or ideas, just commiseration and total and complete despair at the "never endingness" of Covid.

[Anonymous]

Wait, how did he respond to you saying that this is his kid?

[Anonymous]

Did he know you were also continuing to search for appointments at the same time? If not, I can understand his annoyance that he took two hours out of his day to find an appointment without being told you were duplicating his efforts and it would be a waste of his time.

[Anonymous]

So sorry he had to parent today. Sometimes that happens outside of weekends and evenings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So sorry he had to parent today. Sometimes that happens outside of weekends and evenings.

This is f@cking brilliant.

[Anonymous]

This is a big thing with me and DH too. He does a lot, but acts every time like he's doing me a HUGE favor and wants to be thanked profusely. Like 100% of kid and household tasks are simply my responsibility and he's dispensing largesse by "helping me out".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. I have no advice or ideas, just commiseration and total and complete despair at the "never endingness" of Covid.

And neverendingess of moms doing it all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So sorry he had to parent today. Sometimes that happens outside of weekends and evenings.

+1
Op, this is going to happen again and again. You two should have a game plan for next time which could be the day he gets back to school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did he know you were also continuing to search for appointments at the same time? If not, I can understand his annoyance that he took two hours out of his day to find an appointment without being told you were duplicating his efforts and it would be a waste of his time.

My DH also would get mad about the duplication of effort

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. I have no advice or ideas, just commiseration and total and complete despair at the "never endingness" of Covid.

And neverendingess of moms doing it all

And making sure eeeevvvverybody knows it.

[Anonymous]

This is a sh—-storm for everyone especially in places that fight mask mandates. There is no easy answer except for getting everyone vaccinated like is required for polio, measles etc etc. Don’t blame your husband even if he acts like a jerk. Blame your neighbors who don’t get vaxxed or won’t wear masks.

[Anonymous]

I just wonder if kids and working moms are doable. Seems like the husbands just don't get it.

I worked for 20 years. Had our child at 40 and stopped working. Being a SAHM is really hard!

No easy answers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did he know you were also continuing to search for appointments at the same time? If not, I can understand his annoyance that he took two hours out of his day to find an appointment without being told you were duplicating his efforts and it would be a waste of his time.

My DH also would get mad about the duplication of effort

OP- it wasn't a duplication of effort- we were calling in different areas!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry he had to parent today. Sometimes that happens outside of weekends and evenings.

This is f@cking brilliant.

+1

Does he calls it “babysitting” when he’s with his own child?