Anyone else feel like their idealistic parents didn't prepare them for adulthood?

[Anonymous]

Focus on getting a full time career-type job and don't think about whether to apply to an MFA program until September. You said yourself they're a dead end.

You need enough money to support yourself and not burden your parents, who aren't in high paying jobs. The more they bail you out, the less they can save for retirement. Financial realism doesn't seem to be their strong Suite.

If you're interested in nonprofits, you could target your job search. Marketing and communication roles sound like a good fit. Idealist and other job boards might be helpful.

[Anonymous]

Creative writing SLAC undergrad GenXer here; only reason I was ok career wise is that nonprofit & education jobs existed. Nonprofit jobs I had are almost certainly gone due to AI. Writing is not an AI proof skill. While I agree with PPs that this is likely a troll, for anyone reading this who thinks taking 2 years in the current moment (opportunity cost of not working is real & no one pointing this out) to pursue a field that is not only unlikely to provide secure $ footing but also not durable (case in point: thinking a part time internship in the dying field of journalism is a reasonable move), you are not being practical. Practical move would be to move home (solve dog problem either by rehoming dog or by figuring out mom's dog coexisting with yours), shut off lech prof, work p/t internship until you can find paid f/t role and/or figure out secure career path. Then, keep living at home while you get higher ed/training. Don't take out any more loans than absolutely necessary (& acknowledge forfeited income from taking 2 yrs to get a navel gazer degree). You're acting like a trust fund kid with no trust fund (which resembles my pathway but I would not recommend it - GenXers ability to rack up debt was much lower & our likelihood of being able to build equity via housing market much higher). Also had idealistic parents. Love them; they never ever acknowledge that "doing what you love & the $ will follow" was never practical but triply so for any generation beyond Silent/Boomers.

[Anonymous]

This is the perfect impersonation of a dumb a** liberal progressive white woman

[Anonymous]

I don'y know one person who has NOT had a shitty roommate. It's learning experience. You will do fine.

Just try to budget and maybe move to a cheaper area.

[Anonymous]

Law school.

[Anonymous]

go to business school and make writing a hobby/passion project.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel weird posting this, but I just discovered this forum last night. I'm about to graduate college next week (!!!), and I feel like my parents (a progressive social worker and an English professor at a community college) did not do a good job of preparing me for adulthood. Compared to my peers, I feel a lot more sheltered and just behind in life.

I guess I'm just reflecting on college in general now that I'm graduating in one week. On paper, it seems like college went really well for me -- I majored in English at a SLAC, am graduating with the top award in my department and super high GPA, have amazing relationships with my professors, and just finished up my year as the Editor-in-Chief of my school's newspaper. I'm starting a journalism internship next month in the same city where I currently live.

But finances, now that I'm starting to realize, are a constant stressor for me in a way that it isn't for my peers. I almost wish I chose a more lucrative major, even though I really do love English and writing in general. I resigned the lease on my house and can't find anyone who wants to live with me after graduation (because I live with a lovely but neurotic rescue dog I adopted last year). I cannot afford to pay for rent in my house by myself on a meager part-time journalism stipend, so I'm really stressed about finding roommates starting next month. I'm graduating with $40k in student loans, which thankfully, my mom agreed to pay off for me (but I still feel guilty about burdening her with this). I'm preparing to apply to MFA programs in Creative Writing next year, but I don't even know what you can do with an MFA -- academia is falling apart.

I made some really poor choices in friends and boyfriends in college, so my primary social group throughout college fell apart in the middle of my junior year, and now I feel like I don't really have a support system, which really sucks. The two friends who have lived with me in the past both screwed me over and didn't end up paying rent (in retrospect, this was 100% predictable, but I was too naive and sheltered to realize it), and my mom ended up covering their portion of the rent. My best friend throughout college was just outed last week as a lying sociopath (which was also predictable, but my head was buried too deep into the sand until it was too late).

I really don't have any tight support system except my rescue dog (who I adore more than anyone else in the world) and my professor/thesis advisor (who I'm also starting to be wary of because he hits on female students and cheated on his wife, another prof in the English department, with an alum). I just feel so lost, and I feel like my ultra-liberal, "do what makes you feel good" parents did not prepare me for either the financial or the emotional realities of adulthood.

Sigh. Anyone else in this situation?

You blame your parents for poor choices you made and are continuing to make?

Really?

[Anonymous]

The problem is your dog.

[Anonymous]

If you haven’t changed any details, you’ve shared quite a bit of identifying personal information, especially if your family is in the DMV.

Just something to consider going forward. Hopefully you changed some info.

I think you can ask Jeff (moderator) to take down the post if you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's interesting you blame your parents for being idealistic when you keep setting yourself up with sort of dreamy unrealistic plans now with the part time internship, fantasies about a loser professor... Maybe you need to start questioning YOUR decisions.

Agreed. The dog is also a problem. Find something that “gives you life.”

[Anonymous]

No. OP you have a victim mindset. This mind set will get you nowhere.

Once you stop blaming your parents or others and start taking accountability for your actions, you will have a chance of success.

[Anonymous]

I'm in my late 40s and have two friends who loved writing but were realistic enough to know they couldn't make a living at it. One did an MFA at night. Makes a lot of money in finance. The other wrote several (self published) books in the evenings and weekends while working corporate jobs. Both seem satisfied with making comfortable incomes and being able to engage in creative pursuits. Neither one has kids though--I don't see how anyone could do what they're doing on top of raising a family.

[Anonymous]

You're hoping for a job in magazine publishing? Have you taken a look around or read anything about the industry lately?

Periodicals are folding left and right. Even academic publishing is having problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're hoping for a job in magazine publishing? Have you taken a look around or read anything about the industry lately?

Periodicals are folding left and right. Even academic publishing is having problems.

I was hoping for a journalism job, which to my understanding, is easier to get than a publishing job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's interesting you blame your parents for being idealistic when you keep setting yourself up with sort of dreamy unrealistic plans now with the part time internship, fantasies about a loser professor... Maybe you need to start questioning YOUR decisions.

Agreed. The dog is also a problem. Find something that “gives you life.”

I know the dog limits my options in terms of roommates and housing, but she's the main thing I have giving me joy every day. I would rather live in a homeless shelter with my dog than give her up.