Reasonable to Ask 19YO to Cover Childcare for 5 Days?

[Anonymous]

Not with a 4 year old. They get sick, run fevers, randomly throw up and need their mom/parents for comfort.

[Anonymous]

How are you getting to the Maldives? What airports are you flying through?

[Anonymous]

Sure, but this is a recipe to have many of your children choose to never have children because of your selfish choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: We’re expecting, and this is our last chance for a trip before things get busy for a while. We already did a family vacation over Winter Break, but not every trip has to include the kids. We believe in making time for ourselves as a couple, especially before the baby arrives. We’ve always done family vacations, and we plan to keep doing them, but we also value the opportunity to recharge together. This is just one of those trips where we’re taking a breather.

In our family, it’s completely normal for grandparents to step in for a few days, even with little notice. It happens regularly, and everyone is comfortable with it. My parents and in-laws have helped us out many times before, and there’s no issue with it now. We’ve set clear expectations with everyone involved, and everyone’s on the same page, so there’s no concern about that.


We’re confident our teens can handle everything while we’re away. They’ve been hel They’re not partiers, and are good kids. Our younger kids are well-behaved and know how to follow the rules. The teens can handle meals, chores, and bedtime without issues. They’ve got this.

We’re not worried about meals either. The two oldest can cook, and the younger kids aren’t picky. We’ve planned meals in advance, so it won’t be a big deal. The older kids know what to do, and there’s no drama over food preferences. And there won’t be any need for grocery shopping or other logistical tasks that might add stress to the situation.

I could if my daughter really wanted extra help, ask a close friend, to check in from time to time, but 24/7.

OP, you are incredibly selfish. You reschedule the vacation. I've never been on a vacation without my kids and I don't understand this. You have a lot of kids and its not reasonable. What exactly do you do as a parent if you have the grandparents and a nanny doing all the work. This is a not a need, its a want. And, please use birth control given you cannot care for the kids you have.

[Anonymous]

It’s good that OP and her husband still prioritize couple time after 8 kids.. but I’d hire help for your 19 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asking a 19 year old to be a single parent to 6 kids is a tall order.

I don't know that I would go that far.

I think you need the consent and work agreement with your 15 year old as well. That's the only other babysitter age kid you have. And does your 15 year old drive?

If anything comes up, the 19 year old will have to leave the home in the 15 year old's care. For example if the 4 year old needed to go to the ER.

You need excellent emergency backup plans.

To six kids while they are ON SPRING BREAK! This is beyond, OP. Not appropriate.

What if your 19 year old says, no thanks?? Will there be consequences for them… Your answer to that speaks truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: We’re expecting, and this is our last chance for a trip before things get busy for a while. We already did a family vacation over Winter Break, but not every trip has to include the kids. We believe in making time for ourselves as a couple, especially before the baby arrives. We’ve always done family vacations, and we plan to keep doing them, but we also value the opportunity to recharge together. This is just one of those trips where we’re taking a breather.

In our family, it’s completely normal for grandparents to step in for a few days, even with little notice. It happens regularly, and everyone is comfortable with it. My parents and in-laws have helped us out many times before, and there’s no issue with it now. We’ve set clear expectations with everyone involved, and everyone’s on the same page, so there’s no concern about that.


We’re confident our teens can handle everything while we’re away. They’ve been hel They’re not partiers, and are good kids. Our younger kids are well-behaved and know how to follow the rules. The teens can handle meals, chores, and bedtime without issues. They’ve got this.

We’re not worried about meals either. The two oldest can cook, and the younger kids aren’t picky. We’ve planned meals in advance, so it won’t be a big deal. The older kids know what to do, and there’s no drama over food preferences. And there won’t be any need for grocery shopping or other logistical tasks that might add stress to the situation.

I could if my daughter really wanted extra help, ask a close friend, to check in from time to time, but 24/7.

This is absolutely wild. You don't need a vacation, you need birth control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: We originally planned this assuming my MIL would stay with the kids, since our nanny is unavailable that week. We asked too late, and she already had plans with other family. She kindly offered to rearrange and babysit, but we said no — we didn’t want her to miss time with her other grandchildren.

This is a short, adults-only trip to the Maldives — not a family trip. Our daughter’s break is longer than a week, and she already has a trip with friends planned, so this wouldn’t be her entire break.

We already plan for the younger kids (ages 4–9) to be in full-day camps, and there will be playdates. Responsibilities will be divided among the teens, who genuinely look up to their older sister and are responsible and trustworthy. She will be paid $4k-6k?, not 100% sure yet, for the five days , and we prefer not to hire another babysitter, as we don’t trust anyone else as much as our nanny.

MIL isn’t available and my parents are traveling. This arrangement only happens with her full agreement. Backup adults are available nearby (SILs, siblings) if needed.

We understand this wouldn’t work for every family, but we’re trying to plan it thoughtfully and respectfully, so thanks for the tips on making sure this goes smoothly.

In your original post you said that since the younger kids would be on break, the oldest one wouldn’t have to worry about school runs or anything like that. Now they’re going to be in camp? And now you mention paying the oldest? Troll.

I'm mysified by the thought of a "short trip" to the Maldives.

[Anonymous]

OP is a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is a troll.

I hope so. If not, can you imagine growing up in such a family where the parents would do such a thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is a troll.

I hope so. If not, can you imagine growing up in such a family where the parents would do such a thing?

I grew up in a large family as the eldest of 7 and babysit for weeks at a time, at 15-17. This was in the 80s, so a different time but If OP knows her daughter is capable then I wouldn’t say it’s that horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol are you insane?

How did you buy non-refundable international tickets for a week that neither your nanny or your MIL is available?

Because it’s a troll post. The mom of 7, jetting off to the Maldives for a 7 day trip didn’t clue you in? The Maldives are far, and if this mom can 7 can afford it, she can afford back up care for the regular nanny.

Don't forget the poster is also pregnant. And her post of a five-day trip left out the travel time - 2 full days to the Maldives - so 7-day trip. This has to be a roll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is a troll.

I hope so. If not, can you imagine growing up in such a family where the parents would do such a thing?

I grew up in a large family as the eldest of 7 and babysit for weeks at a time, at 15-17. This was in the 80s, so a different time but If OP knows her daughter is capable then I wouldn’t say it’s that horrible.

Weeks at a time? Where were your parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s good that OP and her husband still prioritize couple time after 8 kids.. but I’d hire help for your 19 year old.

No it’s not. I think I remember this psycho OP from before (or she’s a dedicated and consistent troll) and she and her husband made choices that mean those poor kids are shortchanged every day of their lives. So not it’s not good they prioritize leaving the kids on their longest break off school since winter break. There is absolutely no reason you can’t change this trip to a time your nanny AND MIL are both available. That’s what any one who isn’t completely selfish would do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is a troll.

I hope so. If not, can you imagine growing up in such a family where the parents would do such a thing?

I grew up in a large family as the eldest of 7 and babysit for weeks at a time, at 15-17. This was in the 80s, so a different time but If OP knows her daughter is capable then I wouldn’t say it’s that horrible.

Weeks at a time? Where were your parents?

They travelled, work trips, etc.