What happens when you and your husband disagree about your lottery order?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are the immersion options Marie Reed, Oyster-Adams, Bancroft all out for you? Have you thought about ranking Eaton, Hearst, Stoddert, etc. Maybe even Seaton? Those all seem a lot closer than ITDS.

Good idea but the swing space location makes Seaton difficult for OP. It's on Bryant St near the reservoir.

[Anonymous]

OP here. CRITICAL UPDATE: We have agreement!

Just submitted our apps! Final list is:

Ross
Garrison
ITDS
EL Haynes
John Lewis
Lee Montessori Brookland

We just talked through the details of the commute for Garrison vs. ITDS AND the lottery/waitlist stats that show that with three kids and two years to lotto, when our oldest gets to 5th/6th, we can essentially go there for middle school if we want and revisit this then.

I was honest with him that this list meant we almost certainly won’t be going to ITDS (realistically, it’ll be Garrison or John Lewis) and he’s fine with it. And if something crazy happens and we end up at ITDS, I’ll take that as a Sign from Fate and buy the damn e-bike.

Thanks everyone for your support during this weirdly stressful time!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. CRITICAL UPDATE: We have agreement!

Just submitted our apps! Final list is:

Ross
Garrison
ITDS
EL Haynes
John Lewis
Lee Montessori Brookland

We just talked through the details of the commute for Garrison vs. ITDS AND the lottery/waitlist stats that show that with three kids and two years to lotto, when our oldest gets to 5th/6th, we can essentially go there for middle school if we want and revisit this then.

I was honest with him that this list meant we almost certainly won’t be going to ITDS (realistically, it’ll be Garrison or John Lewis) and he’s fine with it. And if something crazy happens and we end up at ITDS, I’ll take that as a Sign from Fate and buy the damn e-bike.

Thanks everyone for your support during this weirdly stressful time!!

Sweet satisfaction!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he wants to keep it on the list, what is he willing to do to make it work? Handling more transportation, hiring private aftercare provider, arranging tutoring? And I agree with those who suggested ranking it lower than he would like.

OP here - I think this is the answer. What is he willing to do to make it work? I'll take that angle the next time we talk.

And he has to own it. Don't agree to this with giving him a near term deliverable so he can show you he is serious. Men love to say it will all work out, but what they mean is that their wife will deal with it.

+1

This is why I decide most things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he wants to keep it on the list, what is he willing to do to make it work? Handling more transportation, hiring private aftercare provider, arranging tutoring? And I agree with those who suggested ranking it lower than he would like.

OP here - I think this is the answer. What is he willing to do to make it work? I'll take that angle the next time we talk.

And he has to own it. Don't agree to this with giving him a near term deliverable so he can show you he is serious. Men love to say it will all work out, but what they mean is that their wife will deal with it.

Now this is a word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. CRITICAL UPDATE: We have agreement!

Just submitted our apps! Final list is:

Ross
Garrison
ITDS
EL Haynes
John Lewis
Lee Montessori Brookland

We just talked through the details of the commute for Garrison vs. ITDS AND the lottery/waitlist stats that show that with three kids and two years to lotto, when our oldest gets to 5th/6th, we can essentially go there for middle school if we want and revisit this then.

I was honest with him that this list meant we almost certainly won’t be going to ITDS (realistically, it’ll be Garrison or John Lewis) and he’s fine with it. And if something crazy happens and we end up at ITDS, I’ll take that as a Sign from Fate and buy the damn e-bike.

Thanks everyone for your support during this weirdly stressful time!!

Great update!! Good luck and let us know where you get in!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are working on our lottery list for first grade. We're looking for a school that will work for our family at least through 4th or 5th grade (though beyond is obviously a bonus). It's our first time seriously considering our school options (we've just been at our IB since PK3).

My husband and I are very egalitarian parents, and have been working together on research, went to EdFest together, and have now gone to 6 open houses with 3-4 more on the horizon, almost all together. We are generally very much on the same page about our priorities, and each of the schools we've seen, we've agreed upon where it should go on our list.

The most recent school we looked at we vastly disagree, and I'm honestly not sure how to move forward. Our assessment of the school is actually pretty similar. With regards to Priority A, we agree that it's actually the best of all the schools we've visited so far. But with regards to Priority B, we agree it's bad, basically at the bottom.

But the problem is that one of us thinks that it should essentially be off our list because Priority B makes it untenable. The other thinks that the issues with Priority B are surmountable, and because it's SO good at Priority A it should be near (or at) the top of our list.

I'm being vague on purpose, both in the names of the schools and the competing priorities, because I'm not interested in how other random internet people would prioritize this (though I'm happy to come back and post at the end of the discussion for the curious). I'm wondering how you handle actually making the decision as parents and partners. Have other people faced lottery order disagreement? How did you come to a resolution?

What happens? You defer to your husband, the head of the household.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are working on our lottery list for first grade. We're looking for a school that will work for our family at least through 4th or 5th grade (though beyond is obviously a bonus). It's our first time seriously considering our school options (we've just been at our IB since PK3).

My husband and I are very egalitarian parents, and have been working together on research, went to EdFest together, and have now gone to 6 open houses with 3-4 more on the horizon, almost all together. We are generally very much on the same page about our priorities, and each of the schools we've seen, we've agreed upon where it should go on our list.

The most recent school we looked at we vastly disagree, and I'm honestly not sure how to move forward. Our assessment of the school is actually pretty similar. With regards to Priority A, we agree that it's actually the best of all the schools we've visited so far. But with regards to Priority B, we agree it's bad, basically at the bottom.

But the problem is that one of us thinks that it should essentially be off our list because Priority B makes it untenable. The other thinks that the issues with Priority B are surmountable, and because it's SO good at Priority A it should be near (or at) the top of our list.

I'm being vague on purpose, both in the names of the schools and the competing priorities, because I'm not interested in how other random internet people would prioritize this (though I'm happy to come back and post at the end of the discussion for the curious). I'm wondering how you handle actually making the decision as parents and partners. Have other people faced lottery order disagreement? How did you come to a resolution?

the lottery is so hit-or-miss (usually miss) that your priorities really don't matter much. By first grade, the chances of getting a lottery seat somewhere are next to none. As the Kindergarten saying goes, "You get what you get, so don't get upset."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. CRITICAL UPDATE: We have agreement!

Just submitted our apps! Final list is:

Ross
Garrison
ITDS
EL Haynes
John Lewis
Lee Montessori Brookland

We just talked through the details of the commute for Garrison vs. ITDS AND the lottery/waitlist stats that show that with three kids and two years to lotto, when our oldest gets to 5th/6th, we can essentially go there for middle school if we want and revisit this then.

I was honest with him that this list meant we almost certainly won’t be going to ITDS (realistically, it’ll be Garrison or John Lewis) and he’s fine with it. And if something crazy happens and we end up at ITDS, I’ll take that as a Sign from Fate and buy the damn e-bike.

Thanks everyone for your support during this weirdly stressful time!!

Great update!! Good luck and let us know where you get in!

We once had a spot at ITS and strongly considered it because of locking in middle school option. But ultimately said no (didn't want the commute and felt it wasn't strong enough academically) and then by the time we got to middle school, our feeder was much better AND we realized our kid would be better off at a different charter middle, and was lucky enough to get a spot.

No regrets whatsoever and adding this because I think it's great that you are not making this decision based on ITDS middle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. CRITICAL UPDATE: We have agreement!

Just submitted our apps! Final list is:

Ross
Garrison
ITDS
EL Haynes
John Lewis
Lee Montessori Brookland

We just talked through the details of the commute for Garrison vs. ITDS AND the lottery/waitlist stats that show that with three kids and two years to lotto, when our oldest gets to 5th/6th, we can essentially go there for middle school if we want and revisit this then.

I was honest with him that this list meant we almost certainly won’t be going to ITDS (realistically, it’ll be Garrison or John Lewis) and he’s fine with it. And if something crazy happens and we end up at ITDS, I’ll take that as a Sign from Fate and buy the damn e-bike.

Thanks everyone for your support during this weirdly stressful time!!

I just want to say that this is an incredibly stressful process, and it sounds like you handled it very well and clearly have a very solid marriage and relationship. Your kids are lucky to have parents who are thinking about them and your family in such a thoughtful, clear-eyed way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. CRITICAL UPDATE: We have agreement!

Just submitted our apps! Final list is:

Ross
Garrison
ITDS
EL Haynes
John Lewis
Lee Montessori Brookland

We just talked through the details of the commute for Garrison vs. ITDS AND the lottery/waitlist stats that show that with three kids and two years to lotto, when our oldest gets to 5th/6th, we can essentially go there for middle school if we want and revisit this then.

I was honest with him that this list meant we almost certainly won’t be going to ITDS (realistically, it’ll be Garrison or John Lewis) and he’s fine with it. And if something crazy happens and we end up at ITDS, I’ll take that as a Sign from Fate and buy the damn e-bike.

Thanks everyone for your support during this weirdly stressful time!!

I just want to say that this is an incredibly stressful process, and it sounds like you handled it very well and clearly have a very solid marriage and relationship. Your kids are lucky to have parents who are thinking about them and your family in such a thoughtful, clear-eyed way.

I wouldn't underestimate how much of a toll commuting can take even when you have a simple walkable commute. We commute from Columbia in Adams Morgan to Ross, which is a 20 minute commute for an adult walking. But doing it 4 times a day is relentless and uphill with pre-K and Kindergartners at the end of a long day is grueling. Busses, particularly on 16th street are pretty reliable and frequent and but it still adds time. Even if you get into your top choices Ross or Garrison I would plan to be flexible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are working on our lottery list for first grade. We're looking for a school that will work for our family at least through 4th or 5th grade (though beyond is obviously a bonus). It's our first time seriously considering our school options (we've just been at our IB since PK3).

My husband and I are very egalitarian parents, and have been working together on research, went to EdFest together, and have now gone to 6 open houses with 3-4 more on the horizon, almost all together. We are generally very much on the same page about our priorities, and each of the schools we've seen, we've agreed upon where it should go on our list.

The most recent school we looked at we vastly disagree, and I'm honestly not sure how to move forward. Our assessment of the school is actually pretty similar. With regards to Priority A, we agree that it's actually the best of all the schools we've visited so far. But with regards to Priority B, we agree it's bad, basically at the bottom.

But the problem is that one of us thinks that it should essentially be off our list because Priority B makes it untenable. The other thinks that the issues with Priority B are surmountable, and because it's SO good at Priority A it should be near (or at) the top of our list.

I'm being vague on purpose, both in the names of the schools and the competing priorities, because I'm not interested in how other random internet people would prioritize this (though I'm happy to come back and post at the end of the discussion for the curious). I'm wondering how you handle actually making the decision as parents and partners. Have other people faced lottery order disagreement? How did you come to a resolution?

What happens? You defer to your husband, the head of the household.

Barf, and also his idea here is so stupid that he does not deserve deference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are working on our lottery list for first grade. We're looking for a school that will work for our family at least through 4th or 5th grade (though beyond is obviously a bonus). It's our first time seriously considering our school options (we've just been at our IB since PK3).

My husband and I are very egalitarian parents, and have been working together on research, went to EdFest together, and have now gone to 6 open houses with 3-4 more on the horizon, almost all together. We are generally very much on the same page about our priorities, and each of the schools we've seen, we've agreed upon where it should go on our list.

The most recent school we looked at we vastly disagree, and I'm honestly not sure how to move forward. Our assessment of the school is actually pretty similar. With regards to Priority A, we agree that it's actually the best of all the schools we've visited so far. But with regards to Priority B, we agree it's bad, basically at the bottom.

But the problem is that one of us thinks that it should essentially be off our list because Priority B makes it untenable. The other thinks that the issues with Priority B are surmountable, and because it's SO good at Priority A it should be near (or at) the top of our list.

I'm being vague on purpose, both in the names of the schools and the competing priorities, because I'm not interested in how other random internet people would prioritize this (though I'm happy to come back and post at the end of the discussion for the curious). I'm wondering how you handle actually making the decision as parents and partners. Have other people faced lottery order disagreement? How did you come to a resolution?

the lottery is so hit-or-miss (usually miss) that your priorities really don't matter much. By first grade, the chances of getting a lottery seat somewhere are next to none. As the Kindergarten saying goes, "You get what you get, so don't get upset."

Please get off this board if you're going to spread bizarre misinformation.

https://public.tableau.com/app/profile/aaron2446/viz/MSDCSeatsandWaitlistOfferData_draft/MSDCPublicDisplay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. CRITICAL UPDATE: We have agreement!

Just submitted our apps! Final list is:

Ross
Garrison
ITDS
EL Haynes
John Lewis
Lee Montessori Brookland

We just talked through the details of the commute for Garrison vs. ITDS AND the lottery/waitlist stats that show that with three kids and two years to lotto, when our oldest gets to 5th/6th, we can essentially go there for middle school if we want and revisit this then.

I was honest with him that this list meant we almost certainly won’t be going to ITDS (realistically, it’ll be Garrison or John Lewis) and he’s fine with it. And if something crazy happens and we end up at ITDS, I’ll take that as a Sign from Fate and buy the damn e-bike.

Thanks everyone for your support during this weirdly stressful time!!

I just want to say that this is an incredibly stressful process, and it sounds like you handled it very well and clearly have a very solid marriage and relationship. Your kids are lucky to have parents who are thinking about them and your family in such a thoughtful, clear-eyed way.

OP here. What a lovely thing to say! You made my day

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. CRITICAL UPDATE: We have agreement!

Just submitted our apps! Final list is:

Ross
Garrison
ITDS
EL Haynes
John Lewis
Lee Montessori Brookland

We just talked through the details of the commute for Garrison vs. ITDS AND the lottery/waitlist stats that show that with three kids and two years to lotto, when our oldest gets to 5th/6th, we can essentially go there for middle school if we want and revisit this then.

I was honest with him that this list meant we almost certainly won’t be going to ITDS (realistically, it’ll be Garrison or John Lewis) and he’s fine with it. And if something crazy happens and we end up at ITDS, I’ll take that as a Sign from Fate and buy the damn e-bike.

Thanks everyone for your support during this weirdly stressful time!!

I just want to say that this is an incredibly stressful process, and it sounds like you handled it very well and clearly have a very solid marriage and relationship. Your kids are lucky to have parents who are thinking about them and your family in such a thoughtful, clear-eyed way.

I wouldn't underestimate how much of a toll commuting can take even when you have a simple walkable commute. We commute from Columbia in Adams Morgan to Ross, which is a 20 minute commute for an adult walking. But doing it 4 times a day is relentless and uphill with pre-K and Kindergartners at the end of a long day is grueling. Busses, particularly on 16th street are pretty reliable and frequent and but it still adds time. Even if you get into your top choices Ross or Garrison I would plan to be flexible.

We are also OOB at Ross and it is also an annoying commute for us. But I think the school is worth it.