Menopause rage makes me hate my nice husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^I'm sure your husband is happy too.

I’ve never cheated on him during 20+ years of our marriage, and I told him that I’m going to date other men when I move out!
Just got a message from a 38 y.o. man asking if I “might like to explore younger man”. I’m petite, and the guy that I’m planning a date with said that I look over a decade younger than my listed age 🤣 I’m going to explore them one at a time, no plan to date multiple men simultaneously.

I mean that is the baseline expectation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if menopausal rage is an evolution’s way of breaking up partnerships that can no longer produce offspring? It seems so common.

For what end? What problem does that solve for evolution?

In evolutionary terms, the primary problem is the shift from communal to highly individualized expectations. Romantic "soul mate" love is a myth that didn't exist back in the day, but does support the formation of nuclear family structures that are beneficial for raising children. Once the children are raised, individuals regain their freedom and can decide whether they like their partner enough to remain tied to them, or move on to different, potentially more compatible sexual relationships. Pretty much anything goes, only sad when a couple is not on the same page about next steps. Imo menopausal rage gets out of control in situations where the incompatibility has become entrenched and the desire for freedom is at odd with circumstances (like children not out of the nest yet).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jeez, what's not to love about OP. A likely unattractive, unsexy, rageaholic who can't control her hormonal responses. She should think about what she's like to live with and ponder whether she should be feeling fortunate rather than resentful and mean.

That’s really mean to OP.

Menopause rage, on the other hand, is incredibly common. It seems to affect most of us.

It’s just part of menopause, that’s all.

[Anonymous]

Seems to me a whole lot of men have learned about so-called "menopause rage," to continue gaslighting and manipulating their wives, retaining control and removing every ounce of freedom. My husband is trying it and I'm not having it.

[Anonymous]

I would say peri-menopause has made me want to stop enabling him and letting him verbally abuse me when he's drinking. I'm done. My hormones have helped me to see so many things over the last 25 years together. So yes, I''m mad and I'm done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeez, what's not to love about OP. A likely unattractive, unsexy, rageaholic who can't control her hormonal responses. She should think about what she's like to live with and ponder whether she should be feeling fortunate rather than resentful and mean.

That’s really mean to OP.

Menopause rage, on the other hand, is incredibly common. It seems to affect most of us.

It’s just part of menopause, that’s all.

Would you say the same to a guy who said that his testosterone was making him feel rage and hate his wife for having little foibles? No, of course you wouldn't. People need to learn to control their emotions and hormonal urges in relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, menopausal rage did not happen with me. In fact, these are the best years of our married life. I am SAHM whose kids have left the coop and DH still has a few years before retirement.

But, some of the reasons why there is no rage but a whole lot of love for my spouse -

- I am a SAHW. No pressure to go to toxic workplace enviornments. (Sorry, but if you have a great and happy workplace, you are the few lucky ones!). We have money. No abuse, adultery, addiction issues.

- I have my own bedroom and own bathroom. We cuddle, we have sex, we nap together, but we have our own space.

- Domestic staff. I don't ever want to tell anyone to do their share of chores at my house because no one ever does it happily and I don't care for the drama and the resentment. So, I have always had a weekly cleaner for the house. I also have a landscape guy who mows every 10 days and does my seasonal maintenance for $$$$ extra money.

- We have enough money to outsource stuff. I am a minimalist kind of person who does not care for clothes, expensive grooming, designer stuff for my own self. So, I decided there is no need for me to save my DH's money and not outsource stuff. My DH does not care about the money I spend in outsourcing things, but he will be pissed if I am a rage-filled spouse.

- My entire focus has been my kids and family, so since that all turned out ok, I am most relaxed and chilled.

- I am not a hyper or a super-competetive person. As long as I am able to meet my social and family obligations, I don't want too much. I am not a striver. I am happy as a clam with my life as it is.

I’m not menopausal yet at 50, but your smugness is rage inducing. You’ve very tone deaf.

[Anonymous]

OP, your menopause isn’t causing you to hate your nice husband, your bad character is. It’s just the menopause is allowing it to come out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeez, what's not to love about OP. A likely unattractive, unsexy, rageaholic who can't control her hormonal responses. She should think about what she's like to live with and ponder whether she should be feeling fortunate rather than resentful and mean.

That’s really mean to OP.

Menopause rage, on the other hand, is incredibly common. It seems to affect most of us.

It’s just part of menopause, that’s all.

Would you say the same to a guy who said that his testosterone was making him feel rage and hate his wife for having little foibles? No, of course you wouldn't. People need to learn to control their emotions and hormonal urges in relationships.

Ok but that’s really dismissive of a really really common menopause symptom, which really does not have great treatment options.

I think you should educate yourself on menopause a little, PP.

[Anonymous]

My wife is going through menopause now. And yes I think she hates me. Not for too long though because she would be having her moments all day and then I'll get a text from her why I am still up and to come to bed to f**k her and then we talk about her day all the stuff she said to me and we laugh about it. I love her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeez, what's not to love about OP. A likely unattractive, unsexy, rageaholic who can't control her hormonal responses. She should think about what she's like to live with and ponder whether she should be feeling fortunate rather than resentful and mean.

That’s really mean to OP.

Menopause rage, on the other hand, is incredibly common. It seems to affect most of us.

It’s just part of menopause, that’s all.

Would you say the same to a guy who said that his testosterone was making him feel rage and hate his wife for having little foibles? No, of course you wouldn't. People need to learn to control their emotions and hormonal urges in relationships.

Ok but that’s really dismissive of a really really common menopause symptom, which really does not have great treatment options.

I think you should educate yourself on menopause a little, PP.

How is that dismissive? Both issues are the result of normal hormonal reactions. My point is that even if it is a "really really common" symptom, people need to control themselves. Having hormonal reactions does not give someone license to rage at a loved one. I'm surprised that this is hard for you to understand.