Appropriate punishment if you catch teen texting & driving & speeding?

[Anonymous]

Came across some group messages of my son's. One of them: "i just passed [friend] going 95 [mph]"

Take the Jeep away? Issue is taking the car away makes my life miserable.

[Anonymous]

It's a little inconvenience vs losing your son or having him kill someone else. It's a no-brainer, to me.

[Anonymous]

Yep - and the optional activities that go with it. He's clearly not mature enough to be on the road so he shouldn't be driving regardless of a punishment. If he wants to go to more the bare minimum of things you drive him to, he can work for money to pay for an uber or coordinate with friends after some loss of privileges for anything fun.

[Anonymous]

This is what parenting is about. No phone, no car.

[Anonymous]

Oh no. So sorry but take the car away! That speed is unacceptable.

[Anonymous]

No phone. No car.

My friends daughter died texting her friend on Xmas eve, be there in 20,

[Anonymous]

Absolutely take the car away. This is a major offense.

And if he can't get to places without the car, too bad.

[Anonymous]

Take away the car and limit some of the activities that are only car accessible. Id think about taking the phone away too.

[Anonymous]

Definitely take away the car. Figure out the fine he would have paid if he'd been caught by police and make him give that amount to a charity that promotes safe driving or helps victims of reckless drivers.

[Anonymous]

Take away the car and give him a bus map. He can figure out how to get himself around. Rides, bus, etc.

[Anonymous]

Take away car and phone, don't drive him anywhere. A week or two.

[Anonymous]

Yep, take away the car. I distinctly remember getting my car taken away when I was 16 because my mom caught me speeding. It made an impression and I watched it better after that. Logical consequences of texting and speeding is removal of car!!

[Anonymous]

Not to be naive but is there any wiggle room for him to say it's a joke or out of context? From what I gather a group of his friends were on way home after an out of town event.

His exact message: "I just passed [friend] going 95"
Friend is group chat re: "Smart"

[Anonymous]

Message is from about a week ago and it's not time stamped, so I'm sort of ball parking based on convo around it

-OP

[Anonymous]

You need to be absolutely sure that this is real and that your child was the one operating the vehicle and telephone and that he was doing so at the same time. If your child is responsible and you accuse him of something like this, you will lose his respect for life.

That said, if this is as it sounds, I agree with the others: the behavior is completely irresponsible and is dangerous to both your child and others on the road. Who owns the car and telephone? You or your son? If either is yours, then, yes, take it (or both) away. If not, then you cannot really take away something that is his (though this is a good argument for not allowing a child to buy his own car), but you need to provide some other comparable and severe punishment. (This is a good argument for not allowing adolescent children to buy their own cars.)