Boy slapped my daughter's butt on the walk from school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jesus. Haven't read all of the responses. I don't think the lid should be arrested, but the school isn't going to just give me his address and parents' number. How am I supposed to contact them? School is over.

How about let it go.

How about talk to your daughter and say in life (fair or not) sometimes we get unwanted advances and give her the tools to deal with them.

Let it go? That's a terrible lesson.

I have discussed it with her. I did before she started middle school. She reacted like I suggested.

Does anyone have advice on contacting his parents?

I wouldn't. I'd contact the school. And I would not just raise the issue of that one boy who did it, but the group with him as well.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Holy shit. The stuff in middle school and junior high was nothing. Wait until shes a young lady and attracting male attention from all sides. Empower her, don't make her a victim.

I'm not OP- what in the world do you mean by this?

Not the PP, but OP could teach her daughter to loudly say, I don't appreciate that! I will be letting the principle and your parents know about this. Or fend off and block the guy. Or hit him.

There are some really bad people in the world. I was walking in Spain when a group of migrant workers came up to me and a gang of them accosted me and assaulted me touching me through my clothes. I fended them off by knocking them off. OP's daughter should figure out how to defend herself and stand up for herself, and assess the situation instead of immediately involving the police.

PP you are responding to. Ok, I see what you are saying. I agree. I also OP should contact the school, and let this be a learning experience for the young man as well that slapping people's butts is not funny or acceptable.

Helicopter parenting at its finest.

Nope, that's not helicopter parenting. That's telling your kid that she doesn't have to accept being sexualized and hit if she doesn't want to be. And that if she can't do anything about it herself, you'll help her. It's THAT message that means that if something more serious does happen to her down the road, she won't think she deserved it and will tell someone.
I had some minor sexual assault happen to me at a young age, and I was told to just ignore it. It led to years of shame. IT's not a good way to handle it.

OP here. I'm sorry you had that experience. You have summed up my intent. I don't know everyone is reacting the way they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I was that 12 yr old boy and you called the cops on me you would live to regret it., human life is worth more then a ass slap . Op not all people are calm and rational some retaliate in ways that would blow your mind, I would not risk my whole family being taken out

Get help, psycho.

[Anonymous]

You women are nuts. You blow little shit out of proportion and then wonder why people aren't outraged when really bad stuff happens. It's like the little boy who cried wolf or chicken little. Do yourselves, your daughters and all women a favor and get a grip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holy shit. The stuff in middle school and junior high was nothing. Wait until shes a young lady and attracting male attention from all sides. Empower her, don't make her a victim.

I'm not OP- what in the world do you mean by this?

Not the PP, but OP could teach her daughter to loudly say, I don't appreciate that! I will be letting the principle and your parents know about this. Or fend off and block the guy. Or hit him.

There are some really bad people in the world. I was walking in Spain when a group of migrant workers came up to me and a gang of them accosted me and assaulted me touching me through my clothes. I fended them off by knocking them off. OP's daughter should figure out how to defend herself and stand up for herself, and assess the situation instead of immediately involving the police.

PP you are responding to. Ok, I see what you are saying. I agree. I also OP should contact the school, and let this be a learning experience for the young man as well that slapping people's butts is not funny or acceptable.

Helicopter parenting at its finest.

Nope, that's not helicopter parenting. That's telling your kid that she doesn't have to accept being sexualized and hit if she doesn't want to be. And that if she can't do anything about it herself, you'll help her. It's THAT message that means that if something more serious does happen to her down the road, she won't think she deserved it and will tell someone.
I had some minor sexual assault happen to me at a young age, and I was told to just ignore it. It led to years of shame. IT's not a good way to handle it.

OP here. I'm sorry you had that experience. You have summed up my intent. I don't know everyone is reacting the way they are.

Unfortunately, there are a number of very vocal misogynists on DCUM. And then just some people who can't imagine a change from the "old" way of doing things. So, boys will be boys and girls can just deal with it is the attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You women are nuts. You blow little shit out of proportion and then wonder why people aren't outraged when really bad stuff happens. It's like the little boy who cried wolf or chicken little. Do yourselves, your daughters and all women a favor and get a grip.

So you're entitled to play grabass with 12 year old girls? NOPE. Sorry, the world has changed. We're not here for your amusement anymore. F off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, use this opportunity to teach your daughter how to stand up for herself and be more resilient (crying really?). You are teaching her to play the poor helpless female card. What happens down the road when she has a truly significant issue to contend with. You and she both need a reality check.

She was targeted and humiliated by a group of other kids. I think crying is a pretty normal response for a middle school student.

Crying doesn't make her helpless. Not going to the school and talking to the Powers that Be makes her helpless. You need to take her to see the principal, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, use this opportunity to teach your daughter how to stand up for herself and be more resilient (crying really?). You are teaching her to play the poor helpless female card. What happens down the road when she has a truly significant issue to contend with. You and she both need a reality check.

Why isng crying at home acceptable? Do you hit your kids when they cry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You women are nuts. You blow little shit out of proportion and then wonder why people aren't outraged when really bad stuff happens. It's like the little boy who cried wolf or chicken little. Do yourselves, your daughters and all women a favor and get a grip.

Yeah, they are all overexagerating. Let's see how you like it when they slap you next.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:The police??

Hitting people is assault.

I do not think this behavior is appropriate, but boys are dumb and were more than likely flirting with her. You should help your daughter with language to empower her and if it continues to involve the parents/ school cause it is harassment- not assault

No, technically it's assault. It's just a kind of assault that our culture tells girls they have to tolerate.

These are 2 and 13 year olds. Please get a grip and look at the responses from the kids. You could learn a lot from them.

There's no "grip" to get. IT is technically assault. Look up the definition. What "responses from the kids"? There are kids on this thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You women are nuts. You blow little shit out of proportion and then wonder why people aren't outraged when really bad stuff happens. It's like the little boy who cried wolf or chicken little. Do yourselves, your daughters and all women a favor and get a grip.

Oh, give me a fucking break. When "little shit" was allowed to slide, "really bad stuff" was also allowed to slide. Marital rape and sexual harassment weren't punishable in this country until the 70s or 80s. Rape was not reported because defense attorneys were allowed to slut shame the victim to get a "not guilty" verdict.

You and your fellow travelers could give a shit about "really bad stuff." You just want to let your kid play grab-ass with his classmates while you do the same with your co-workers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the equivalent of a little boy pulling a girl's pigtails because he likes her. It is a crude form of flirting...should we condone it? No. But that warrants talking to the parents about changing the boys behavior and explaining why it is wrong, not locking up a kid and throwing the key away. Talk about overreaction.

Where did anyone mention locking up a kid and throwing away the key? Involving the police is extreme, and I wouldn't, but it's not the same as jailing the kid.
I do think it's pathetic that this is seen as "crude flirting". If the kid ran up and hit another boy, that would be viewed as assault. But because it's a girl and her butt, it's just harmless. BULLSHIT.

If the kid had run up and hit another boy, we would have told the boy to hit back, or also tell the teacher/principles. Though as discussed, probably giving the bully a taste of his medicine would win out over tattling to the adults.

Yes, the girl should hit back. But there's one of her and a group of boys with this boy. So what are her odds? Should she feel confident that this isn't going to get worse quick? Why? Absolutely, I would tell the teachers, principal, and any adults who would hear me. But the PP's on this thread are saying it's no big deal, so don't report it. Great message for girls. They don't have the right to bodily integrity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And how, pray tell, does a middle school girl stand up for herself to a boy who has slapped her ass and run away?

Turn around, yell "Stop It!" or "Fuck Off!", and slap him across the face if she has the chance. A kick in the nuts might be warranted too.

I'm a guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And how, pray tell, does a middle school girl stand up for herself to a boy who has slapped her ass and run away?

Turn around, yell "Stop It!" or "Fuck Off!", and slap him across the face if she has the chance. A kick in the nuts might be warranted too.

I'm a guy.

She did yell at him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:OMG! The best thing you can do is tell her the next time someone does that or TRIES to do that to turn around and slap the piss out of him.
And the next time she sees the kid tell him that she's going to report him to the police.
But don't really call the cops.
Do you know all the crap that goes on between middle schoolers? Teach her to stand up for herself in the moment.
Hell, my 4 yr old did that in pre-school, little boy never bothered her again. The teachers even watched her wack the crap out of that kid.

Nope. Hitting someone preemptively could be deemed assault and prosecuted in a court of law.

Especially in todays society. And we wonder why we have so many issues and why we cry rape over a smack on the butt.

If someone hits me I have a right to defend myself -- hitting someone on the ass is well, HITTING THEM. And if someone comes at me trying to hit me,swings at me I can also defend myself to prevent them from actually touching me.

I'm not disagreeing with you. I'm just saying in todays society you cannot do that. As evidenced in the OP's hysteria over her daughter's incident.

No, you are daft. In today's society you absolutely can do that. Do you know of one kid sitting in jail because they hit a person who had hit them? No, you don't. OP isn't hysterical. OP is upset because the situation is upsetting. That has nothing to do with kids getting in trouble for defending themselves.