Is it okay to veto "Mom-mom" for a grandmother name?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a family who used the name "mama" for their one grandmother's name. Grandma has 4 children, who all call her mama, and it just became easier for the grandkids to call her that too. They all call their mothers "mommy" or "mom", so zero issues. It works for them. In our family we have:
Memaw
Grammy
Grandma
Nunna
Nana

Just a choosing your child's name is a very personal decision, so is what the grandparents decide to be called. It's a tad selfish on your part to veto something your MIL has been wanting to be called by your children. Very sad.

+1000

Not selfish, some MIL can be obxnious

MIL wants to be called a certain name. We're not talking Auntie or something ridiculous. Seriously OP, there are a TON of battles ahead and this is without question one that's not worth fighting. Let your dang MIL pick the name SHE is called. You're definitely selfish.

Agree. OP, come back in 5 years and tell us if this was a battle worth fighting.
- all the experienced moms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, dial back the drama. Nobody is sad, there will be no years of hard feelings and I am not a control freak. No matter how much a few of you complete strangers insist.

My baby will not be calling my MIL Mom and she has her very own name that is different from my mom's name. Win-win.

Your mother-in-law didn't ask for the baby to call her Mom.

[Anonymous]

Try Nana

[Anonymous]

OP - your child will know that you are his/her mother and that Mom-mom is the grandma. In my culture, you call your mom's brother "mama" and his wife "mami", pronounced just like Mommy. My two year old has never mistakenly thought my brother was me, even though she calls us both "mama", nor has she thought his wife was her mommy even though she calls both of us "mami/mommy". There's no reason to be jealous about this, it's really stupid.

[Anonymous]

As PPs have said, your DC is not going to be confused about who his/her "real" mommy is. And I grew up in the South, so I knew a lot of memaws, maw was and this like, so I don't see a huge deal. My MIL chose a very unusual name to be called by my DCs. I hate it and think it is in poor taste. But, it was important to her, and I was just not willing to draw that particular line in the sand-- because there were other, more consequential lines on substantive child rearing issues that I have had to put my foot down on since (no, we are not baptizing DC in your religion; no we are not sending DC to a poor urban public school when our local school is great (she has some strong beliefs about educational equality beginning with affluent parents investing in failing schools). FWIW, I still cringe at her grandma name, but whatever. She has always treated me very well, has helped me out of more than a few jams when DH travels, and is an amazing grandparent. If this is what I can do in return, I can live with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, dial back the drama. Nobody is sad, there will be no years of hard feelings and I am not a control freak. No matter how much a few of you complete strangers insist.

My baby will not be calling my MIL Mom and she has her very own name that is different from my mom's name. Win-win.

Are you the OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She probably has a friend or two with grand kids who call them that and now she wants to be called that too. New grandmas can be like little girls, wanting what their friends have, buying what their friends but grandchildren, comparing who does what, etc.

This is so true - my MIL wants to be called "nana" which is not a family name and both I and DH think sounds really dumb -- because her two best friends are nanas. Of course my poor mom, who is not a native English speaker, keeps asking DD if she had a good time when her "nanny" visited!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She probably has a friend or two with grand kids who call them that and now she wants to be called that too. New grandmas can be like little girls, wanting what their friends have, buying what their friends but grandchildren, comparing who does what, etc.

This is so true - my MIL wants to be called "nana" which is not a family name and both I and DH think sounds really dumb -- because her two best friends are nanas. Of course my poor mom, who is not a native English speaker, keeps asking DD if she had a good time when her "nanny" visited!

Haha. My MIL is called "Nana," and we felt the same way about it. Seems ridiculous and is not a family name. DS called her "Nanny" for a long time because he was used to saying "Mommy" and "Daddy" that ended in "-y." Oh well!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She probably has a friend or two with grand kids who call them that and now she wants to be called that too. New grandmas can be like little girls, wanting what their friends have, buying what their friends but grandchildren, comparing who does what, etc.

This is so true - my MIL wants to be called "nana" which is not a family name and both I and DH think sounds really dumb -- because her two best friends are nanas. Of course my poor mom, who is not a native English speaker, keeps asking DD if she had a good time when her "nanny" visited!

Haha. My MIL is called "Nana," and we felt the same way about it. Seems ridiculous and is not a family name. DS called her "Nanny" for a long time because he was used to saying "Mommy" and "Daddy" that ended in "-y." Oh well!

I've had several friends who called their grandmothers Nanny. Nobody seemed to be confused about who was who.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, dial back the drama. Nobody is sad, there will be no years of hard feelings and I am not a control freak. No matter how much a few of you complete strangers insist.

My baby will not be calling my MIL Mom and she has her very own name that is different from my mom's name. Win-win.

When DCUM agrees, listen. You may have "won" this one, but you sound neurotic, insecure and a bit of a diva.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, dial back the drama. Nobody is sad, there will be no years of hard feelings and I am not a control freak. No matter how much a few of you complete strangers insist.

My baby will not be calling my MIL Mom and she has her very own name that is different from my mom's name. Win-win.

When DCUM agrees, listen. You may have "won" this one, but you sound neurotic, insecure and a bit of a diva.

+1.

There were lots of people that agreed with the OP.

[Anonymous]

Grandma , grammy, granny, nana, meema ( personally loathe), noni, mimi, grandma ruth and grandma lola. So many more, but I do agree with you about mom mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Offer some other suggestions. Grammy, Gigi, grandma first name, Nonna... Tell her any recognizable grandma name, but nothing that includes "mom."

Does DH back you up? If so, he can tell her. "Mom, please, don't be ridiculous. Pick something that doesn't have 'mom' in it."

You realize how ridiculous your words are? Grandmother, grandmom, grandma, all have "mom" in them. Why? Because she's the mother's mother or the father's mother. She is a mother of this child one generation removed. "Mom" is the mother. "Mom mom" is the a generation removed. Why is this so hard to process? And why would you make this your hill to die on? If you really want to be that nit-picky and control-freaky, you will alienate your MIL. Pick the battles worth fighting. And people wonder why so many DILs and MILs don't get along? This is why? Typically because someone (in this case the DIL) is being unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She probably has a friend or two with grand kids who call them that and now she wants to be called that too. New grandmas can be like little girls, wanting what their friends have, buying what their friends but grandchildren, comparing who does what, etc.

This is so true - my MIL wants to be called "nana" which is not a family name and both I and DH think sounds really dumb -- because her two best friends are nanas. Of course my poor mom, who is not a native English speaker, keeps asking DD if she had a good time when her "nanny" visited!

Too funny. None of the grandparents in our family go by family names, except my dad, who goes by Pop-Pop.

I had a Grandma Lo, a Grandma Flo (Lois and Florence), and a Pop-Pop. We called my grandfather who passed before I was born Grandpa Joe when we talked about them. DH has a Bama (he couldn't pronounce Grandma and everyone else followed suit, even the older cousins), and had a Papa, Nana, and Grandpa.

My parents are Pop-Pop and Mom-Mom (yes, this WAS inspired by a friend of hers, and NO, there hasn't ever been any confusion). ILs are Granny and Coach, which started out as a joke before we all decided we liked it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Offer some other suggestions. Grammy, Gigi, grandma first name, Nonna... Tell her any recognizable grandma name, but nothing that includes "mom."

Does DH back you up? If so, he can tell her. "Mom, please, don't be ridiculous. Pick something that doesn't have 'mom' in it."

You realize how ridiculous your words are? Grandmother, grandmom, grandma, all have "mom" in them. Why? Because she's the mother's mother or the father's mother. She is a mother of this child one generation removed. "Mom" is the mother. "Mom mom" is the a generation removed. Why is this so hard to process? And why would you make this your hill to die on? If you really want to be that nit-picky and control-freaky, you will alienate your MIL. Pick the battles worth fighting. And people wonder why so many DILs and MILs don't get along? This is why? Typically because someone (in this case the DIL) is being unreasonable.

Notice something different about your examples? They don't begin with "Mom."

What some of you don't seem to realize is that not everyone has a crazy, strained relationship with their MIL. My MIL and I are able to have a calm discussion and share our feelings on it. She was totally cool with skipping MomMom - like I said, this is not a traditional name in their family. Nobody is dying on a hill, nobody is fighting, and nobody's feelings are hurt. MIL is now very excited to be called Grammy.

I know some of you are very angry that I did not take your advice. But that does not make me a control freak or a diva. I started this thread to see if there were other people that also thought Mom Mom was a very weird grandmother name and saw that I was not alone.

You can all move on and stop worrying about my family. We are all very happy!

This was the OP, btw.