Is it okay to veto "Mom-mom" for a grandmother name?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Offer some other suggestions. Grammy, Gigi, grandma first name, Nonna... Tell her any recognizable grandma name, but nothing that includes "mom."

Does DH back you up? If so, he can tell her. "Mom, please, don't be ridiculous. Pick something that doesn't have 'mom' in it."

You realize how ridiculous your words are? Grandmother, grandmom, grandma, all have "mom" in them. Why? Because she's the mother's mother or the father's mother. She is a mother of this child one generation removed. "Mom" is the mother. "Mom mom" is the a generation removed. Why is this so hard to process? And why would you make this your hill to die on? If you really want to be that nit-picky and control-freaky, you will alienate your MIL. Pick the battles worth fighting. And people wonder why so many DILs and MILs don't get along? This is why? Typically because someone (in this case the DIL) is being unreasonable.

Notice something different about your examples? They don't begin with "Mom."

What some of you don't seem to realize is that not everyone has a crazy, strained relationship with their MIL. My MIL and I are able to have a calm discussion and share our feelings on it. She was totally cool with skipping MomMom - like I said, this is not a traditional name in their family. Nobody is dying on a hill, nobody is fighting, and nobody's feelings are hurt. MIL is now very excited to be called Grammy.

I know some of you are very angry that I did not take your advice. But that does not make me a control freak or a diva. I started this thread to see if there were other people that also thought Mom Mom was a very weird grandmother name and saw that I was not alone.

You can all move on and stop worrying about my family. We are all very happy!

This was the OP, btw.

And yet you continue to post here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, dial back the drama. Nobody is sad, there will be no years of hard feelings and I am not a control freak. No matter how much a few of you complete strangers insist.

My baby will not be calling my MIL Mom and she has her very own name that is different from my mom's name. Win-win.

"Dial back the drama"? OP, you are the one trying to control someone else's name.

[Anonymous]

OP - i think you are totally right, btw. mom mom is a stupid name and way to similar to mama. I'm so glad your mil changed her mind. I actually think DCUM has gone way too far in the direction of accommodating MILs. Good luck with your new little one!

[Anonymous]

All I have to say is "wait until you are a grandparent" OP... Then you may change your tune!

And it looks like about 30-35% of posts were in support of OP, and the rest opposed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Offer some other suggestions. Grammy, Gigi, grandma first name, Nonna... Tell her any recognizable grandma name, but nothing that includes "mom."

Does DH back you up? If so, he can tell her. "Mom, please, don't be ridiculous. Pick something that doesn't have 'mom' in it."

You realize how ridiculous your words are? Grandmother, grandmom, grandma, all have "mom" in them. Why? Because she's the mother's mother or the father's mother. She is a mother of this child one generation removed. "Mom" is the mother. "Mom mom" is the a generation removed. Why is this so hard to process? And why would you make this your hill to die on? If you really want to be that nit-picky and control-freaky, you will alienate your MIL. Pick the battles worth fighting. And people wonder why so many DILs and MILs don't get along? This is why? Typically because someone (in this case the DIL) is being unreasonable.

Notice something different about your examples? They don't begin with "Mom."

What some of you don't seem to realize is that not everyone has a crazy, strained relationship with their MIL. My MIL and I are able to have a calm discussion and share our feelings on it. She was totally cool with skipping MomMom - like I said, this is not a traditional name in their family. Nobody is dying on a hill, nobody is fighting, and nobody's feelings are hurt. MIL is now very excited to be called Grammy.

I know some of you are very angry that I did not take your advice. But that does not make me a control freak or a diva. I started this thread to see if there were other people that also thought Mom Mom was a very weird grandmother name and saw that I was not alone.

You can all move on and stop worrying about my family. We are all very happy!

This was the OP, btw.

And yet you continue to post here.

Exactly. We get it, OP. A lot of us just disagree with it being an issue.

[Anonymous]

My friend's grandma is called Mom-mom. She is from deep in Delaware and was never confused about who her mom is.

[Anonymous]

A mom who is becoming a grandmother can be called whatever she wants!! My Italian grandmother was mommom, whom I never knew. For anyone to object, you’re being very insensitive!!! That is what I am going to be called when I become one....even if I’m gone before it happens. Also, if two moms want to be called grandma, nana, then you simply rectify it by using last name...nana jones, nana Fey...etc or first names. This works also for grandpa, poppop! Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

If you can, show a little grace towards your MIL and let her have this one. Your kid is not going to be confused.

[Anonymous]

I get it OP. I had a great-grandmother that the family called Mymommy. I vividly remember one time I was in distress and trying to explain to the family that I wanted my mommy, not Mymommy.

I'm glad you and Grammy worked things out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All I have to say is "wait until you are a grandparent" OP... Then you may change your tune!

And it looks like about 30-35% of posts were in support of OP, and the rest opposed.

I am just reading this post. I completely side with the OP. A grandmother who wants to be called Mom-mom has issues of not wanting to relinquish her role as "the" mother of the family. This is a common issue with a certain mindset of the elderly. A secure grandparent understands the changing of the guard.

OP is THE mom of her family.

[Anonymous]

THIS THREAD IS FIVE YEARS OLD. THE PROBLEM HAS PRESUMABLY BEEN RESOLVED.

[Anonymous]

G-ma

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. She can be called what she wants.

Except mom.

WTF is wrong with these people? This is so obnoxious and attention seeking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you've never heard of Mommom as a grandmother name? It's a traditional grandparent nickname.

http://www.grandparents.com/family-and-relationships/grandparent-names/grandparent-names

If anything, this list shows just how much worse it could be!

+1 my cousins’ grandparents who weren’t my grandparents were Mom Mom and Pop Pop. Mine were Mamaw on one side, because my oldest sister couldn’t pronounce Grandma and it stuck, and Grammy and Grandy on the other side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just tell her that, similarly to how she thinks two "grandmas" would be confusing, "mom-mom" would be confusing, too.

Let her know any name that's not similar to "mom" or "mommy" works for you. You can recommend some (Grammy, Deedee, Nana, Nan, Granny, Gran, etc) if you think she'd be receptive, or you can just leave it at that.

OP again. Thank you! This is exactly how I'll explain it. I'll agree that she's totally right that two grandmas is confusing but I also think having to "mom"s is confusing as well. I'm totally fine with any other name!

I'm sure it's fine if you grew up with Mom mom as a normal grandmother name, but my husband actually calls both his grandmothers "Grandma." So it's not like it's some sort of family tradition she's trying to continue.

To whom is it confusing?

It’s confusing to the child calling out for his mom!

Can you imagine a 2 year old calling out “Mom! Mom! Help! Mom! Mom!”

Then grandma insists he wants her and every interaction is a negotiation about who the child is talking to. It sounds exhausting and obnoxious.