My sister and BIL want me to ask my husband to get their son a lucrative job

[Anonymous]

This is our oldest nephew and I'm a SAHM, so I've never been through this before. Nephew is graduating from college. Sister and BIL are middle class. I'm a bit uncomfortable with my husband putting his neck out for an in-law who honestly doesn't seem deserving of a backdoor to a lucrative job. Or is this just how the world works and I should encourage my husband to help? My husband has helped a couple of close friends' kids, but they all had pretty impressive CVs, so I don't think they really even needed the lift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is our oldest nephew and I'm a SAHM, so I've never been through this before. Nephew is graduating from college. Sister and BIL are middle class. I'm a bit uncomfortable with my husband putting his neck out for an in-law who honestly doesn't seem deserving of a backdoor to a lucrative job. Or is this just how the world works and I should encourage my husband to help? My husband has helped a couple of close friends' kids, but they all had pretty impressive CVs, so I don't think they really even needed the lift.

If he's willing to do it for friends' kids, you should definitely ask him to do it for your nephew. It's an entry-level position, he's not asking to be CFO. He can sink or swim once he gets there but having the door opened by a connection is *exactly* how the world works.

It's strange that you call your nephew "an in-law" when speaking from your husband's perspective. Your sister and BIL are his in laws, but the next generation down is just . . . his nephew, same as yours.

[Anonymous]

If he’s helped other kids, I think you’d have to be honest with them about why you’re not helping their kid. Or give some recommendations of things the kid can do to make their resume more impressive.

Though, I think if the kid wants help he should be asking your husband directly, not through his parents and wife. That’s weird, he’s an adult time to start acting like one.

[Anonymous]

If your husband has a job where he can help like this, then he also received the same sort of help that your nephew is seeking as he worked his way up. This is how the professional world works - jobs are gotten based on relationships, merit is not enough. Your husband can decide what types of positions may be best suited for your nephew’s credentials, but it would be a jerk move to not give the kid some advice, guidance and introductions.

[Anonymous]

Pass. Tell him to get a job based on merit.

[Anonymous]

Not sure why your husband would not want to assist. It's hard to get one's first job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure why your husband would not want to assist. It's hard to get one's first job.

Because he has to stick his neck out and doesn’t know if nephew can do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pass. Tell him to get a job based on merit.

Definitely ask your spouse. You feel weird because it's through you and not your job/place to decide - all normal. He may not blink, if he pauses, ask why and if you're satisfied with the answer, let it go. Don't talk yourself out of it thinking you'll get a NO.

[Anonymous]

Omg op what is wrong with you! Please give this kid a shot and a leg up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is our oldest nephew and I'm a SAHM, so I've never been through this before. Nephew is graduating from college. Sister and BIL are middle class. I'm a bit uncomfortable with my husband putting his neck out for an in-law who honestly doesn't seem deserving of a backdoor to a lucrative job. Or is this just how the world works and I should encourage my husband to help? My husband has helped a couple of close friends' kids, but they all had pretty impressive CVs, so I don't think they really even needed the lift.

What precisely do you mean by the bolded, OP? I'm trying to come up with meanings that don't out you as a grade A c***, and I'm coming up empty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure why your husband would not want to assist. It's hard to get one's first job.

Because he has to stick his neck out and doesn’t know if nephew can do it.

She hasn't even asked him. She's saying that she thinks her nephew, being middle class, is not as impressive as the rich kids her DH has helped. He hasn't said that, she's just ashamed of her roots or something and projecting onto a college kid trying to get his first job. Get over it, OP. Don't block your nephew's blessings because you feel like the rich kids deserve a hand up but a middle class kid will eat with his hands in the company lunchroom or something and expose you as a yokel.

[Anonymous]

OP you sound petty and nasty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is our oldest nephew and I'm a SAHM, so I've never been through this before. Nephew is graduating from college. Sister and BIL are middle class. I'm a bit uncomfortable with my husband putting his neck out for an in-law who honestly doesn't seem deserving of a backdoor to a lucrative job. Or is this just how the world works and I should encourage my husband to help? My husband has helped a couple of close friends' kids, but they all had pretty impressive CVs, so I don't think they really even needed the lift.

If he's willing to do it for friends' kids, you should definitely ask him to do it for your nephew. It's an entry-level position, he's not asking to be CFO. He can sink or swim once he gets there but having the door opened by a connection is *exactly* how the world works.

It's strange that you call your nephew "an in-law" when speaking from your husband's perspective. Your sister and BIL are his in laws, but the next generation down is just . . . his nephew, same as yours.

We socialize with those families and those handful of kids he helped we knew for years. Very charming and highly ambitious students. I doubt they even needed my husband's help. My nephew is fairly aimless and isn't setting the world on fire. I'm sure he can land a regular 60K job like any other graduating college student. My sister and brother in law think my husband can pull strings to land him some plum six figure finance job a couple months before he graduates.

[Anonymous]

Is there any reason to think he can't do it? You know your nephew - is he intelligent and well spoken? How is he alike and different from the other people that DH helped?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is our oldest nephew and I'm a SAHM, so I've never been through this before. Nephew is graduating from college. Sister and BIL are middle class. I'm a bit uncomfortable with my husband putting his neck out for an in-law who honestly doesn't seem deserving of a backdoor to a lucrative job. Or is this just how the world works and I should encourage my husband to help? My husband has helped a couple of close friends' kids, but they all had pretty impressive CVs, so I don't think they really even needed the lift.

Lol from the woman who is freeloading off the DH more than anyone, with no job or credentials.