SAHM: how much does spouse have to earn to make it work?

[Anonymous]

Losing my ever-loving mind with back-to-back-to-back viruses and ear infections with our 8 month old. Cannot keep missing work— and I’ve missed so much lately that, for the first time, I feel bad at my job… and I can’t take this feeling.

How much does your spouse make & what’s your mortgage to make the stay-at-home-mom thing work for you.

[Anonymous]

What is your mortgage OP? What is your debt? How many kids and what are you planning to pay or save for college?

[Anonymous]

Enough to pay your bills. Figure that out and you have your answer.

[Anonymous]

One meeeeelllion dollars.

Okay but seriously, the math is not hard. And err on the side of doing what’s best for your family in the short term. If I didn’t have a nanny and grandparent help, I would have SAH

[Anonymous]

If your housing costs can be covered as no more than 50% of one of your incomes, then you can probably make it work.

If this is the case for you, why not take a 6 month leave of absence and see how it feels.

Do keep in mind that you probably won't go back to work in your chosen career field (unless it's nursing) if you leave.

[Anonymous]

For us it was around $500k that we felt comfortable with just that one paycheck. But what matters is what your particular financial commitments are and what you spend currently on your lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

We make more now but did it with $150-175k a few years ago.

It was tight but fine. $200 - $250k is better closer in if you want to maintain a high savings rate.

Now if you already own a townhouse in olney or mannassas with a low interest rate maybe even $125k is enough, and in other cities $100k. All depends on where you live, how many kids you have, what your expenses are, etc.

[Anonymous]

For us it came down to this formula:

my income-daycare=not enough to make a major difference in our lifestyle

[Anonymous]

Enough to pay your specific bills is a factor. Job stability is also a factor. Retirement savings is also a factor.

I personally think it's not a good reason to quit just to avoid it being a bit awkward at work (in your words, "I feel bad at my job… and I can’t take this feeling."). You're essentially firing yourself because you can't take the hit to your pride/ego.

I had my firstborn in professional school. I had plenty of awkward moments and people questioning if a mom could even do the job, especially in those "grind" years. But I swallowed my pride and prioritized our financial health over my feelings.

In other words, if quitting is in the best interest of your kid and family, go for it. But if it's just your identity as a high achiever? Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

DH makes 800k now and I still work. I’ve told myself that once he makes 1mm, I’m out of here. We have a lot of expenses (private school, travel, mortgage).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH makes 800k now and I still work. I’ve told myself that once he makes 1mm, I’m out of here. We have a lot of expenses (private school, travel, mortgage).

FWIW I quit when DH was around there and I was surprised by how many expenses (especially convenience taxes) evaporated when I was home to mind the budget. It didn't burn nearly as much as you'd think... and I was making $300k so nothing to sneeze at.

[Anonymous]

500k for us

[Anonymous]

It completely depends on your debt and monthly outlays. My husband makes $150,000 and it worked fine but we have very low expenses -- no car payment, no student loans, and 1500 out of a 2000 mortgage payment was covered by rental income (DC rowhouse and rented the lower level).

We have no renter now but I also work a bit and bring in enough income to balance that out.

[Anonymous]

I know someone who makes probably less than $150k and the wife stays home with the 4 kids.

[Anonymous]

Spouse makes 110k I make 65k
Right now we have a mortgage on a house we paid 365k for in 2010 and 2 cars, one paid off, one payment. Kid in private, and has activities we pay for as well.
We talked about me staying home a few years ago but there would be no money for extras like activities, camps, travel etc….. we decided those things matter to us so we both work.