What is "wife material"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife material would be someone who is smart, savvy, good looking and takes care of herself. Smart does not mean know it all, and she should be attentive not to correct or overshadow her husband in front of others. She should have strong mothering instincts (working with children if a good indicator of this). Confident and modern, but ok with being the household's chief operating officer, with the husband more in a chairman/CEO role.

Totally agree.

You don't have to run a marriage like a corporation. It can be a partnership instead. There's no reason in this day and age anyone has to take a subordinate role.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife material would be someone who is smart, savvy, good looking and takes care of herself. Smart does not mean know it all, and she should be attentive not to correct or overshadow her husband in front of others. She should have strong mothering instincts (working with children if a good indicator of this). Confident and modern, but ok with being the household's chief operating officer, with the husband more in a chairman/CEO role.

Totally agree.

You don't have to run a marriage like a corporation. It can be a partnership instead. There's no reason in this day and age anyone has to take a subordinate role.

[Anonymous]

NP here.

Seriously, there is no such thing as a one-fits-all 'wife material' (or husband material). You may be a pretty skinny blonde but to a guy who likes short brunettes with extra pounds, you will not appeal. You may be a wonderful cook who loves and slaves over every meal, but then you'd be pretty annoyed being married to a man like my DH who likes to eat out for every meal (and so for him spouse’s cooking skills are on par with skills in ancient Egyptian as far as importance to his life goes). Every man and woman value different things.

Re: stock market, looks, skills etc. You (and he) are not starting a business together - you are (hopefully) falling in love. For that, all you need is to have decent looks, decent personality, and not be a complete and utter loss. You need to find someone who values whatever your strengths, skills, and interests happen to be, and to find someone whose strengths and skills you value in return. Just make sure you are compatible, that’s all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You are wrong. I am currently a SAHM because it made financial sense for me to stay home and raise our kids rather than work a full time job and pay someone else to take care of them. He made more money that I did (though when we were married, I made more.) I was a teacher, so raises were pathetic (raises are on a step system, based on years of experience and the degree you have, not how well you can teach.) He was in the business world and had better raises since raises are based on performance.

Plus, his insurance was MUCH better than the ones offered by the school system. So for economic reasons, I stayed home. I'm glad I'm raising our kids rather than a stranger. .

Wow, totally with you until that last sentence.

I guess in your view your husband isn't raising your kids, since he works?

How on earth did you come to that conclusion?

You misunderstood. I am raising the kids not a day care provider (stranger). DH does his part but since he has to leave home to go to work, I am the primary caretaker not a day care center.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sincerely cannot tell if you are stupid or just trying to make your point.

Do you have the same concern for your sons being slutty? Do you tell your sons that they should try to keep it to five or so partners because otherwise, gross?

You are obviously the stupid one if you think boys and girls are equivalent physically or morally.

A man does not become "bad husband material" -- or less attractive to women -- if he bangs too many women. Sorry, toots, that's the way it has always been and always will be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sincerely cannot tell if you are stupid or just trying to make your point.

Do you have the same concern for your sons being slutty? Do you tell your sons that they should try to keep it to five or so partners because otherwise, gross?

You are obviously the stupid one if you think boys and girls are equivalent physically or morally.

A man does not become "bad husband material" -- or less attractive to women -- if he bangs too many women. Sorry, toots, that's the way it has always been and always will be.

Lol!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You are wrong. I am currently a SAHM because it made financial sense for me to stay home and raise our kids rather than work a full time job and pay someone else to take care of them. He made more money that I did (though when we were married, I made more.) I was a teacher, so raises were pathetic (raises are on a step system, based on years of experience and the degree you have, not how well you can teach.) He was in the business world and had better raises since raises are based on performance.

Plus, his insurance was MUCH better than the ones offered by the school system. So for economic reasons, I stayed home. I'm glad I'm raising our kids rather than a stranger.

.

Wow, totally with you until that last sentence.

I guess in your view your husband isn't raising your kids, since he works?

How on earth did you come to that conclusion?

You misunderstood. I am raising the kids not a day care provider (stranger). DH does his part but since he has to leave home to go to work, I am the primary caretaker not a day care center.

I understood perfectly. You stay home and are happy you are raising your kids and not a stranger. If you were working, a stranger must "raise" your kids. Because raising them apparently requires being home with them. I wondered if you held that standard only for mothers, or do fathers count, too? That's why I asked...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife material would be someone who is smart, savvy, good looking and takes care of herself. Smart does not mean know it all, and she should be attentive not to correct or overshadow her husband in front of others. She should have strong mothering instincts (working with children if a good indicator of this). Confident and modern, but ok with being the household's chief operating officer, with the husband more in a chairman/CEO role.

Totally agree.

You don't have to run a marriage like a corporation. It can be a partnership instead. There's no reason in this day and age anyone has to take a subordinate role.

Full equity partnership?
Wife as non-equity partner?
Eat what you kill?
Hmmm.

[Anonymous]

Ann Romney is the role model for perfect wife material. Mitt knows a good investment when he sees one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sincerely cannot tell if you are stupid or just trying to make your point.

Do you have the same concern for your sons being slutty? Do you tell your sons that they should try to keep it to five or so partners because otherwise, gross?

You are obviously the stupid one if you think boys and girls are equivalent physically or morally.

A man does not become "bad husband material" -- or less attractive to women -- if he bangs too many women. Sorry, toots, that's the way it has always been and always will be.

And NOW you have answered my explicit question, and also revealed everything else I wanted to know about you. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wife material would be someone who is smart, savvy, good looking and takes care of herself. Smart does not mean know it all, and she should be attentive not to correct or overshadow her husband in front of others. She should have strong mothering instincts (working with children if a good indicator of this). Confident and modern, but ok with being the household's chief operating officer, with the husband more in a chairman/CEO role.

Thats me. But we found each other after having kids with others. But we are happy now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sincerely cannot tell if you are stupid or just trying to make your point.

Do you have the same concern for your sons being slutty? Do you tell your sons that they should try to keep it to five or so partners because otherwise, gross?

You are obviously the stupid one if you think boys and girls are equivalent physically or morally.

A man does not become "bad husband material" -- or less attractive to women -- if he bangs too many women. Sorry, toots, that's the way it has always been and always will be.

Some of us don't like man whores as well. We're out there. And how can you possibly judge women harsher than men for the same actions but use said women? Doesn't make sense but in your twisted mind, it probably does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sincerely cannot tell if you are stupid or just trying to make your point.

Do you have the same concern for your sons being slutty? Do you tell your sons that they should try to keep it to five or so partners because otherwise, gross?

You are obviously the stupid one if you think boys and girls are equivalent physically or morally.

A man does not become "bad husband material" -- or less attractive to women -- if he bangs too many women. Sorry, toots, that's the way it has always been and always will be.

This...disagree. I'd be grossed out by a man who's banged lots of women, but I guess a person's definition of "a lot" is subjective.

[Anonymous]

OP, find a man who loves you for you, not who he thinks or wants you to be. I would imagine it would be exhausting to pretend to be someone else 24/7 for years on end. Likewise, find a man you can love for himself the way he his, not what you think you can make him become. He is who he is, and if you try to change him, it will not work; you will be disappointed, and I see divorce in your future. Find someone to love you for who you are and not your superficial you. You will both age, and you especially will age faster after having kids.

Also, you may find that what you want in your 20's is not the same as what you want in your 30's.

Having stated that, I did not know how to cook nor was I maternal when my husband and I got together (I don't know that I am maternal now even with 2 kids). He is a great life partner, and I feel very loved by him. I am not tall with long blond hair; actually, I'm the opposite - short and dark hair. From what he's told me, it was how easy he felt being with me that grabbed him, and that ease comes from compatibility. Yes, looks does help, but it's not like I'm a supermodel. I'm average, well, he would say above average.

Just be yourself. If you are maternal and a great cook, make 6 figures and have an advanced degree, great. You will probably be compatible with someone like-minded.

[Anonymous]

Be yourself is the best advice you could get OP. when I think about the women I know, all if whom are happily married, they are also very different from each other.