Curious - are there several disruptive children in your kid's class, by chance?

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, Parents can only work on problems brought to their attention. This is how we know what to focus on with children and what their actual school needs are. I would be devastated to learn you were talking about my child here before hearing it from the school. It is painful enough learning here DC isn't welcomed by the parents with pitchforks committee. Maybe the HOS can help you because it is in both "sides" best interests. Please understand children with disabilities have legal protection, even in private schools, to a lesser extent.[/quote]

[b]I don't think OP was talking about children with disabilities[/b]. I wasn't. Some of the most disruptive students are the brightest students. The owrst cases my children have encountered are disrespectful kids who try to control the classroom discussions and challenge the teachers.[/quote]

There are so many problems with this thread I don't even know where to start.

LD's don't always clearly present themselves in K, 1st or even 2nd grade. Actually the majority of LD kids are diagnosed around 3rd grade and the smarter ones - the ones that can hide it or create their own accomodations are not diagnosed untill much later.

I think the point is that maybe there should be a little more compassion.

Yea - people have family problems. Divorce, death, etc. Yea and these kids act up.

I get there are the overbearing moms that micromanage their kids and expect special treatment and it's annoying - they are annoying - but these are kids.

I think it is crazy that you think that it is age inappropriate for a K-4 grader to be disrespectful and to challenge a teacher. Actually most of the brightest kids would at some point challenge a teacher. That is appropriate - and the appropriate response would be for the teacher to teach the child how to ask question in a more respectful manner.

BTW - most of the time LD kids are the brightest kids too. Many are actually too bright for their age - they control the discussion because they are bright and articulate but not mature enough to know how to share the time.

I actually would worry if I had a child who was afraid to challenges an adult.

[Anonymous]

When the troublemakers are DC's of a board member you can be sure that teacher's are told to suck it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When the troublemakers are DC's of a board member you can be sure that teacher's are told to suck it up.

Do you realize the discussion is about kids that are 5, 6 and 7 years old?

[Anonymous]

I can tell children who have a LD..I am not a teacher but sometimes it's obvious and I wonder how these kids get in privates without an iep..that's makes all the difference in the world. I can also tell kids who are random risruptive and I see they fall into (for the most part) two catagories a) kids of parents who work a ton and the nanny is raising them..ie nanny gets them to school and nanny sees them when home from school and a lot of times puts to bed. Mom and dad see kids for real time only on weekends. Why? Obvious that these kids are crying out for love and attention from their parents and are not getting it so create problems for wrong attention. b) parents of helicopter SAHMs who refuse to believe that their precious project could not do anything wrong. I have been both WM and SAHM so I know both worlds. It's a shame--balance is the take home. But as a someone paying private school tuition-I want the school to handle this or why would I be spending the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When the troublemakers are DC's of a board member you can be sure that teacher's are told to suck it up.

This is just a thinly disguised attack on a specific child. Prove yourself to be a mature and responsible adult who can speak in broad intellectual terms about specific issues without bashing specific children. You and I both know that you have no interest in using this forum to create better classroom environments. Your sole purpose is to attack and denigrate other people's children. How old are you? Grow up!!!! Don't you know that no one gets through life without suffering pain. Today your kid may truly be the cat's meow, but I promise you that someday, somehow, somewhere he/she is going to fall off track and it's going to hurt like hell.

Showing compassion now won't lessen your pain when your day comes, but it will make you a better person in the meantime.

Also, let me make clear that I personally wish you no ill or harm. I'm only talking about karma and the fact it is inevitable that we all experience pain in our lives. In this case have the courage to speak face-to-face with the people with whom you have complaints. I can't imagine anything more cowardly than adults who conspire against children or adults who attempt to humiliate children by identifying them in a public forum like DCUM.

STOP!!!! Take a good look what you are doing. Ironically, I think you do have compassion. Unfortunately, you just don't have compassion for anyone outside of your small circle of friends.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand how a general statement that the children of board members are known to schools/teachers and, as a result, are often treated differently can be characterized as an "attack on a specific child."

[Anonymous]

"BTW - most of the time LD kids are the brightest kids too. Many are actually too bright for their age - they control the discussion because they are bright and articulate but not mature enough to know how to share the time.

I actually would worry if I had a child who was afraid to challenges an adult."


I'm, too, am not talking about the LD child and I'm not talking about a child challenging an adult. I'm talking about a child disrespectfully (and repeatedly) challenging a teacher who responsible for teaching a class of 12 - 15 children and challenging that teacher to the point of disrupting the rhythm of the class.

We have one of those bright, articulate children who would take over a class discussion if given the chance. She finds it difficult to control her enthusiasm for certain topics and she gets frustrated when other students don't understand what she's talking about. We talk to her about this tendency of hers. We talk to teachers about this trait at the beginning of each school year and we monitor it through out the year, as well as at our dinner table. The challenge we and her teachers face is to preserve her joy and eagerness while teaching her to discipline her mind rather than just disciplining her when she strays. It's not easy. A teacher with 12 - 15 children to worry about wouldn't have a prayer helping our daughter if we weren't doing our part at home --- after all we only have three children around the dinner table and they are our children not our students. When she comes home and complains that So-and-so does what we tell her not to do we give the old standby: If So-and-so came to school in his/her underwear would you do that too?

Not surprisingly we have found that the teachers who are best able to control the disruptive kids are seasoned teachers who have raised or are raising their own children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can tell children who have a LD..I am not a teacher but sometimes it's obvious and I wonder how these kids get in privates without an iep..that's makes all the difference in the world. I can also tell kids who are random risruptive and I see they fall into (for the most part) two catagories a) kids of parents who work a ton and the nanny is raising them..ie nanny gets them to school and nanny sees them when home from school and a lot of times puts to bed. Mom and dad see kids for real time only on weekends. Why? Obvious that these kids are crying out for love and attention from their parents and are not getting it so create problems for wrong attention. b) parents of helicopter SAHMs who refuse to believe that their precious project could not do anything wrong. I have been both WM and SAHM so I know both worlds. It's a shame--balance is the take home. But as a someone paying private school tuition-I want the school to handle this or why would I be spending the money.

The fact that you think you can tell if a kid has a LD by just observing him/her is crazy.

Not all LD kids need an IEP.

You have some serious biases. Just because you have been a WM or a SAHM does not make you the authority on what goes on in my house with my child.

You want your kid away from developly normal kids is crazy to me. You don't want him to learn life lessons, compassion, etc.

Let's just say you had a family issue (a grandparent dies) and your child started acting up - would you want the school to work with you and your child until it works out or just kick you out until you get your life together.

You make a lot of assumptions about people that you don't know.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]I don't understand how a general statement that the children of board members are known to schools/teachers and, as a result, are often treated differently can be characterized as an "attack on a specific child."
[/quote]

I assume you speak from experience. So how many board members have kids that you specifically know. You are thinking of one specific kid or one specific family and extrapolating.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]"BTW - most of the time LD kids are the brightest kids too. Many are actually too bright for their age - they control the discussion because they are bright and articulate but not mature enough to know how to share the time.

I actually would worry if I had a child who was afraid to challenges an adult."


I'm, too, am not talking about the LD child and I'm not talking about a child challenging an adult. I'm talking about a child disrespectfully (and repeatedly) challenging a teacher who responsible for teaching a class of 12 - 15 children and challenging that teacher to the point of disrupting the rhythm of the class.

We have one of those bright, articulate children who would take over a class discussion if given the chance. She finds it difficult to control her enthusiasm for certain topics and she gets frustrated when other students don't understand what she's talking about. We talk to her about this tendency of hers. We talk to teachers about this trait at the beginning of each school year and we monitor it through out the year, as well as at our dinner table. The challenge we and her teachers face is to preserve her joy and eagerness while teaching her to discipline her mind rather than just disciplining her when she strays. It's not easy. A teacher with 12 - 15 children to worry about wouldn't have a prayer helping our daughter if we weren't doing our part at home --- after all we only have three children around the dinner table and they are our children not our students. When she comes home and complains that So-and-so does what we tell her not to do we give the old standby: If So-and-so came to school in his/her underwear would you do that too?

Not surprisingly we have found that the teachers who are best able to control the disruptive kids are seasoned teachers who have raised or are raising their own children.
[/quote]

And you think that child should be removed from the school?

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] And you think that child should be removed from the school? [/quote]

Who is "that child?" What makes you think I might want "that child" child removed from school?

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't understand how a general statement that the children of board members are known to schools/teachers and, as a result, are often treated differently can be characterized as an "attack on a specific child."
[/quote]

I assume you speak from experience. So how many board members have kids that you specifically know. You are thinking of one specific kid or one specific family and extrapolating.[/quote]

I didn't make the original statement about the children of board members and I'm not thinking of "one specific child" and extrapolating. I was actually thinking of human nature.

I've had teachers tell me that students are the children or grandchildren of board members and I assume that they, being human, bear that in mind if they have an issue with one of these children. All of my children have had classmates whose parents were/are on the boards of their schools --- off the top of my head I can think of 11 such board members over the past 13 years. I can only think of one instance where I think that impacted the school's decision to hesitate before taking the necessary steps to deal with a problem and, in this case, I don't believe that parent board member was asking for special treatment. I can think of another instance where a parent board member removed one of their children from the school and left another one in the school.

I know a family with a parent on the board that worries that their children may be favored in some way and they do everything in their power to shield their children from special treatment. I know another family that declined an invitation for one of the parents to join the board because they didn't want to deal with possible favoritism shown to their children. I understand these parents concerns but I also think it's important for schools to have current parents on the board since these individuals have a unique interest in the schools short-term success.

Parenting and educating children is a challenge and making the right call in tough situations isn't as easy as some people think it should be.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] And you think that child should be removed from the school? [/quote]

Who is "that child?" What makes you think I might want "that child" child removed from school? [/quote]

I'm not talking about a child challenging an adult. I'm talking about a child disrespectfully (and repeatedly) challenging a teacher who responsible for teaching a class of 12 - 15 children and challenging that teacher to the point of disrupting the rhythm of the class.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] And you think that child should be removed from the school? [/quote]

Who is "that child?" What makes you think I might want "that child" child removed from school? [/quote]

I'm not talking about a child challenging an adult. I'm talking about a child disrespectfully (and repeatedly) challenging a teacher who responsible for teaching a class of 12 - 15 children and challenging that teacher to the point of disrupting the rhythm of the class.[/quote]

What are you suggesting they do with these disrespectful children?

[Anonymous]

Honestly, that's a situation (no LD, repeated disruption) teachers and administrators should be equipped to handle. If they can't or don't (and this phenomenon is repeated in different classrooms throughout the school), then it's a problem with the school rather than with individual kids.

That said, a parent's (or other kid's) perception of what disrupts the rhythm of a class may be quite different from a teacher's. So an alternative interpretation of why kids who are routinely "disruptive" aren't shut down is that the school perceives this behavior as that of highly-engaged learners. So the classroom challenge may be to draw the quieter kids out rather than to shut the more aggressive kids down. If your kid is feeling left out, ignored, derailed talk to the teacher about that -- not about what you think other kids are doing wrong.