I'm living abroad in the UK and I hate it.

[Anonymous]

British people are so rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The people are rude, the service is bad, the food is bad, you pay more for everything. I am a friendly and polite, respectful person (not a "loud, annoying American). And all anyone ever cares about is how much money they can get out of me. It's exhausting. And the road are not maintained. I had an accident when tripping in a cracked sidewalk. I was visibly hurt and no one would even move over a little bit so I could walk past on the sidewalk (beside them). I had to walk in the road while they walked on the sidewalk. That is a frequently occurrence - people not moving over so you can both have room on the sidewalk.

I loved my friends but have never been treated so rudely as I was in the UK, but quite a few people. when I got out into the countryside, it was nicer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the UK is an amazing country with great and terrible things, like everywhere. Your task is to enjoy it to the maximum.

Your current negative attitude is pathetic, and if you maintain it you should go home.

There is a saying- if where you are smells like shit, first check under your own shoe.

Clearly this is a troll.

Clearly you don't know the meaning of troll. Hint: it isn't anyone you disagree with.

[Anonymous]

I spent 4 months in London. I found people very nice.

A few days after we arrived, my DH got encephalitis and nearly died. I will be forever grateful to the basically strangers who helped me and made sure my kids were taken care of while my DH was in the hospital, and so I could see him during the day. I literally had never met any of them before I had to ask such a favor.

Brits are on the private side. They don't gush. If you think they aren't friendly, they provably just don't know you yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people are rude, the service is bad, the food is bad, you pay more for everything. I am a friendly and polite, respectful person (not a "loud, annoying American). And all anyone ever cares about is how much money they can get out of me. It's exhausting. And the road are not maintained. I had an accident when tripping in a cracked sidewalk. I was visibly hurt and no one would even move over a little bit so I could walk past on the sidewalk (beside them). I had to walk in the road while they walked on the sidewalk. That is a frequently occurrence - people not moving over so you can both have room on the sidewalk.

I loved my friends but have never been treated so rudely as I was in the UK, but quite a few people. when I got out into the countryside, it was nicer.

+1 Same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sad to read as this is my dream but I agree with the 'become a regular' suggestion. Your classes will help but if you have a hobby/passion - indulge it. Do the little town gatherings you'll hear about - even if they seem like they're lame. Get known as someone outside of large shops, etc.

It's your dream to live in the UK? Why? And what part would you live in?

This is the dreaming PP: In my most romantic scenarios I would live somewhere in the Lake District. I can work anywhere so I dream of a small cottage, the big fire place and long walks into village after getting a good deal done each day. I also like Bath and for a smaller urban experience - this seems doable (but like another PP - I was almost run over the first time I was there - combo of looking wrong way in traffic and jet lagged slow reflexes.) I guess Notting Hill for a full year would be beyond my reach but I always try to stay in this area when work brings me for an extended period to London and if dreams didn't need real life funding - there. My whys of being in the UK? I find that there is enough difference in the country - once out of the surface facade of modern city life and tourist show to really set aside my same olds of traveling domestically. I travel a lot - and though I'm mostly Irish and there with family pretty often - I love England so much more. I love the architecture, the gardens, the uniqueness of the towns and the connectiveness of train travel. I love the way walking and being outside is taken for granted as something one does every day. And - because I love sweaters and layers - I love being able to wear cozy clothes and not sweating in our mostly overheated buildings here. I haven't found people to be rude on the whole but have to say I was endlessly hit on by countless older men - luckily never aggressively but way more than I expected and way more than here - and one of the things I haven't figured out why so different there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The people are rude, the service is bad, the food is bad, you pay more for everything. I am a friendly and polite, respectful person (not a "loud, annoying American). And all anyone ever cares about is how much money they can get out of me. It's exhausting. And the road are not maintained. I had an accident when tripping in a cracked sidewalk. I was visibly hurt and no one would even move over a little bit so I could walk past on the sidewalk (beside them). I had to walk in the road while they walked on the sidewalk. That is a frequently occurrence - people not moving over so you can both have room on the sidewalk.

So what you are saying is it is exactly like the DC metro area ....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people are rude, the service is bad, the food is bad, you pay more for everything. I am a friendly and polite, respectful person (not a "loud, annoying American). And all anyone ever cares about is how much money they can get out of me. It's exhausting. And the road are not maintained. I had an accident when tripping in a cracked sidewalk. I was visibly hurt and no one would even move over a little bit so I could walk past on the sidewalk (beside them). I had to walk in the road while they walked on the sidewalk. That is a frequently occurrence - people not moving over so you can both have room on the sidewalk.

How long have you been there? This sounds like culture shock, and it's exhausting. I did this the other way around, almost 20 years ago, and it surprised me how much it affected me. You wouldn't think it would; I had assumed that there would be minimal cultural differences between two English speaking countries which share a good deal of common references. But it kind of sneaks up on you, and suddenly everything. is. hard.

I was there 6 months last year and now I've been back 4 months. I don't feel like it's culture shock at this point. I get that the British "love to have a moan" about things. But it's honestly so negative most of the time and it is wearing on me. Are you saying you're British and moved to the US? My SO is British and we've been together 5 years. I get along well with his family, etc but he's often gone at work and I have to try to integrate myself on my own and some days it is really hard.

Yeah -- I'm British and moved to the US. You really do sound like you are in the thick of it. After about two years it started to settle for me (and then in year three we moved to a very culturally different part of the US, whole nother story).

[Anonymous]

Did you see the "why are the british so rude" thread? You are not the only one who notices, trust me.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/666346.page

[Anonymous]

My sister has lived in Ireland. She loved all other people from the various parts of the UK, except for the English who she said were the rudest people she'd ever met in her life.

[Anonymous]

I loved living in London and would go back in an instant if I could.

There is a different culture there and the British are unlike Americans in spite of the shared language.

Smile and say hello, apologize before asking for something ("I am sorry for interrupting/bothering you but I was wondering if you could show me where _____ is".) Compliment their country and don't ask like a miserable tourist. Respect everyone and never, ever be late and always say good-bye when leaving anywhere (An "American Good-bye" is well known to describe someone who neglected to say good-bye).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't relate and I live in the UK.

+1. But I live in London, so that might be the reason. Lots of expats here, and I don't feel am anti-american vibe at all, at least in my neighborhood (Kensington).I also have young children, and have met friends through their schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't relate and I live in the UK.

+1. But I live in London, so that might be the reason. Lots of expats here, and I don't feel am anti-american vibe at all, at least in my neighborhood (Kensington).I also have young children, and have met friends through their schools.

+2

I run in North and East London circles and find it lovely.

Sure there are people who have been rude, and people don't generally smile as much so come off more dry. But I've also met some ridiculously nice and welcoming people as well. Our neighbors all went out of their way to introduce themselves when we moved in.

I'm sorry you hate it.

[Anonymous]

As a veteran expat (four countries and counting, each country for multiple years) your post suggests you're simply going through one of the classic stages of culture shock. Even living in the UK as an American expat isn't immune from this. https://medium.com/global-perspectives/the-4-stages-of-culture-shock-a79957726164

The initial euphoria of living abroad has worn off, the new country is no longer a novelty, you start missing family/friends and the little differences in how things are done and how people live their lives start to become irritations, and can be compounded by external factors such as weather conditions or cultural differences. You start looking at everything through negative lenses. But I wouldn't unduly worry, you are with a partner who you love very much and that goes a long way in helping you overcome this stage of culture shock.

The UK was my first expat destination and I lived there for eight years and still go back at least once a year. I must say that while there are certainly things I don't care for in the UK and that many Americans fresh off the plane often have a distorted perspective of the reality of life in the UK even if they have visited before (a vacation is never the same as actually living in a place, and the UK is, at least where most people live, a quite ordinary place where people live ordinary lives in poky small houses and flats that are often cramped to most Americans, the cost of most things are more expensive (although not all), a day out, even dining out at a nice restaurant, is often quite expensive, the weather can be dreary, living in/around London can feel like being caught up in a relentless rat race similar to New York or even DC yet at a higher cost for even more cramped quarters).

But the one thing I have never found the UK was a rude country. Rude individuals? Yes. But how are the British generally rude? My experience has always been that the large majority of Brits are polite, civil and, yes, distant. It has nothing to do with social class (wildly overstated these days). The distant attitudes often has to do with many people living in close quarters. The British do have a blunt commonsense that can manifest itself as rude to some people although it never did to me, they were just direct to the point. British humour is dry and understated and to many Americans can be seen as rude. Are there people who make anti-American comments? Sure, but so do many Americans in the US! Still, can you give me examples of how the British were rude to you?

I do agree with other posters that one of the best things to do to adjust to living in a new country, including the UK, is to start living like the British. Watch how they interact with one another (at least the people you want to consider your peers, there is a large working class element to British society and some of it is not to be emulated). Don't expect to exactly duplicate your old life in the US if you want to meet other British people. Going out for dinner or lunch is not as commonly done due the high cost of living, even among the more well -off, but almost everyone would be happy to pop somewhere for tea and a slice of cake and a chat, or a pub for a pint. And, of course, the more effort you put into developing a social life, the more you will get out of it. Find a running group or a sporting club? Get involved in a local institution? It's really no different than moving to any new city in the US and trying to meet people. If you find your immediate surroundings dreary or too ordinary, make a point of seeing something distinctive to the UK once a week, this can easily be a long walk in the country, or visiting a historic town centre and admiring its cathedral, or pop up to London for the museums, or see a stately home.

When I first moved to the UK I did have an initial six months of euphoria, followed with six months of depression and frustration (in the winter!) but then I realised if I started living like an British rather than an American, I'd find myself much happier. I started dressing like the British, I started shopping like the British, I started cooking like the British (leave the snide comments aside - the UK is a nation of wonderful home cooks and wonderful supermarkets and wonderful local butchers and farmers' markets). I started taking long walks in the country. I came to rely on Pret for quick sandwiches while on the go, it's cheap and tasty. I watched carefully and adopted the British mannerism in queues and at tills and with shopkeepers and daily interaction with different people in different occupations. I started following British politics and even British sports. I never attempted to portray myself as anything but an American but by having British habits I found myself quickly developing a good group of friends and many remain close friends to this day. I do not call myself an anglophile but I am comfortable in the UK and would be perfectly happy to return there (which is likely to happen).

[Anonymous]

Another American here with exactly the opposite experience of you. I lived in the UK for 5 years. I've been back in the states about a year and believe me there are many things I miss about the UK. Rather than look at everything as wrong, look at it as different and embrace the difference.