I'm living abroad in the UK and I hate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has lived in several countries in three countries, it is absurd not to acknowledge that there are differences that Americans may find irksome and acknowledging these does not reflect bias or some attitude of superiority.

For example, without naming the countries, there are those where people are habitually late and not keeping time is viewed as the norm. Then there are differences in personal hygiene including how often one bathes and whether people use a bidet. There are a couple of Asian countries where running out of food when you invite guests is viewed as the height of poor hospitality. Then we have places where it is considered the norm to break a line at a grocery store and expect no one to object - usually when someone has one or two items and others in front have grocery carts with many more items. They don't even ask before doing so.

Customer service in the US is not what it used to be but it is still head and shoulders above what one finds in most countries - there are countries where the very concept of customer service is alien to that culture.

Recognizing these realities is not silly. It is also not silly to say that because of x,y or z, one would much rather live in the US than another country.

Acknowledging differences is fine. I actually think that improves your experience when living abroad. If you go into knowing that things will be different. You either end up loving the differences or hating them.

The problems come when many people ( I notice this mostly with Americans) move abroad with the idea that it's going to be so much better than home because they are essentially European anyway. Not realizing their idea of European is entirely constructed on novels, movies and opinion pieces.

Or they are like you and think American is the standard everyon needs to meet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has lived in several countries in three countries, it is absurd not to acknowledge that there are differences that Americans may find irksome and acknowledging these does not reflect bias or some attitude of superiority.

For example, without naming the countries, there are those where people are habitually late and not keeping time is viewed as the norm. Then there are differences in personal hygiene including how often one bathes and whether people use a bidet. There are a couple of Asian countries where running out of food when you invite guests is viewed as the height of poor hospitality. Then we have places where it is considered the norm to break a line at a grocery store and expect no one to object - usually when someone has one or two items and others in front have grocery carts with many more items. They don't even ask before doing so.

Customer service in the US is not what it used to be but it is still head and shoulders above what one finds in most countries - there are countries where the very concept of customer service is alien to that culture.

Recognizing these realities is not silly. It is also not silly to say that because of x,y or z, one would much rather live in the US than another country.

Where can you cut a line and no one will object?

In India and even some ME countries - and when one sees it often enough I found myself gradually changing my own approach and doing the same thing but I'd invariably ask/tell the people in front I was doing so since I had only one or two items and they seemed perfectly fine with it. Keep in mind that there are no express lanes for those with just a minimal number of items.

BTW, the phrase in bold above should read "several countries in three continents"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In general western Europeans and the British are very disparaging of Americans though they don't usually do it in their presence.

It is relentless and rarely do they have a good thing to say about them and this precedes Trump.

+1
I notice that when I travel there.
But I wonder if they are disparaging with people in general. Their cultures and governments have evolved differently than the Americans. Their people used to be grouped into different social classes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In general western Europeans and the British are very disparaging of Americans though they don't usually do it in their presence.

It is relentless and rarely do they have a good thing to say about them and this precedes Trump.

+1
I notice that when I travel there.
But I wonder if they are disparaging with people in general. Their cultures and governments have evolved differently than the Americans. Their people used to be grouped into different social classes.

Yes, but since I'm married to a European, I hear all the things they say first hand. I used to adore Europe. Even got my masters in European studies. After hearing the unvarnished truth of what they think of our alliance and "friendship," I actually have a lot of sympathy for Trump's stance toward Europe. They use us, it's a one sided friendship, and maintaining costs money we could use on thing like universal health care. The only country with an understanding of reciprocity, and that's a worthy partner over there, is France (not Germany or the U.K.).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The food is much better than the US. What you can find in the average Sainsburys is so much better than Giant or Safeway. And Waitrose is better than Wholefoods.

God I miss London.

[Anonymous]

Anyone else following what happened over the weekend in my favorite Spanish city, Barcelona??

Police dragged innocent people by the hair out of polling places; voters were intentionally thrown down stairs by police.

This has really changed my view of Europe (admittedly, I don't live there. But I can't imagine any excuse for what the authorities there did).

I thought police brutality was only a U.S. thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I thought police brutality was only a U.S. thing.

Err....no.

Police brutality is far more common in most countries than not. Just about the entire non-western world has a police force that will be brutal when it needs to. And as you've seen in Spain, even in western countries. The US police is much, much, much better than 95% of the world's police forces.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else following what happened over the weekend in my favorite Spanish city, Barcelona??

Police dragged innocent people by the hair out of polling places; voters were intentionally thrown down stairs by police.

This has really changed my view of Europe (admittedly, I don't live there. But I can't imagine any excuse for what the authorities there did).

I thought police brutality was only a U.S. thing.

See, these are exactly the kind of ignorant posters who say things like "As an American I am ashamed of being an American."

I remember when I was living in a foreign country. An American celeb came over and was on the news talking about how much "Americans need to learn from you, you don't have any racism here".


Literally the people I met there were the most blatantly racist people I'd met in my life and didn't care who knew it.

But if you don't know s*** about the country you're talking about it's easy to pretend everything's rosy and America is the only place with problems. Such a provincial, absurd claim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In general western Europeans and the British are very disparaging of Americans though they don't usually do it in their presence.

It is relentless and rarely do they have a good thing to say about them and this precedes Trump.

+1
I notice that when I travel there.
But I wonder if they are disparaging with people in general. Their cultures and governments have evolved differently than the Americans. Their people used to be grouped into different social classes.

Yes, but since I'm married to a European, I hear all the things they say first hand. I used to adore Europe. Even got my masters in European studies. After hearing the unvarnished truth of what they think of our alliance and "friendship," I actually have a lot of sympathy for Trump's stance toward Europe. They use us, it's a one sided friendship, and maintaining costs money we could use on thing like universal health care. The only country with an understanding of reciprocity, and that's a worthy partner over there, is France (not Germany or the U.K.).

I can agree with this. I've lived in France and I think they are brutally honest with most people and disparaging to people in general- like everyone, especially anyone who isn't French. But they have genuine affection and respect for the US- real enthusiasm for America and her customs. But, as I said, their general style of communication is very blunt so I think sometimes Americans misinterpret that as "we don't like America"- and the French would prefer for that misunderstanding to happen than for them to appear to be sucking up to people, which they would view as deeply uncool no matter the recipient.

On the other hand, the British can come off as very polite and friendly to Americans but underneath it there is a real, deep layer of contempt. I think many Brits would be quite happy if America was wiped off the face of the earth and they could immediately go back to being the main English-speaking superpower. The dislike actually runs super deep- but Americans are plain spoken so we take their words at their face value and don't try to look deeper. So the fake smile and sarcastic double-edged compliment gets brushed over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In general western Europeans and the British are very disparaging of Americans though they don't usually do it in their presence.

It is relentless and rarely do they have a good thing to say about them and this precedes Trump.

+1
I notice that when I travel there.
But I wonder if they are disparaging with people in general. Their cultures and governments have evolved differently than the Americans. Their people used to be grouped into different social classes.

Yes, but since I'm married to a European, I hear all the things they say first hand. I used to adore Europe. Even got my masters in European studies. After hearing the unvarnished truth of what they think of our alliance and "friendship," I actually have a lot of sympathy for Trump's stance toward Europe. They use us, it's a one sided friendship, and maintaining costs money we could use on thing like universal health care. The only country with an understanding of reciprocity, and that's a worthy partner over there, is France (not Germany or the U.K.).

I can agree with this. I've lived in France and I think they are brutally honest with most people and disparaging to people in general- like everyone, especially anyone who isn't French. But they have genuine affection and respect for the US- real enthusiasm for America and her customs. But, as I said, their general style of communication is very blunt so I think sometimes Americans misinterpret that as "we don't like America"- and the French would prefer for that misunderstanding to happen than for them to appear to be sucking up to people, which they would view as deeply uncool no matter the recipient.

On the other hand, the British can come off as very polite and friendly to Americans but underneath it there is a real, deep layer of contempt. I think many Brits would be quite happy if America was wiped off the face of the earth and they could immediately go back to being the main English-speaking superpower. The dislike actually runs super deep- but Americans are plain spoken so we take their words at their face value and don't try to look deeper. So the fake smile and sarcastic double-edged compliment gets brushed over.

Our experiences are different. I’ve lived in France and the UK and of the two the French were far more anti-American than the British. They could be downright hostile, especially in Paris and I lived in Paris during the Iraq invasion! The British for the most part didn’t really care if you were Americans. There are a lot of Americans living in the UK and much fewer in France. Working class Britain has a strong affinity for American culture, always going to Florida and Disney World or Vegas.

I will say that the French and Americans do have much in common. We are equally arrogant and equally nationalistic. The British are much more low key.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The argument of who's ruder is getting pretty ridiculous as I'm finding that British and American reputations abroad are more similar than not. And they aren't particularly good, especially in the time of Trump and Brexit.

Americans may only seem nicer b/c we naturally smile more and overtip compared to the locals.

This is as sophomoric an explanation as I have seen on why Americans are perceived as more friendly.

What I find interesting is that Americans are very comfortable with criticizing others, but are very think skinned if anyone, including another American, says anything that is critical of Americans or America. I think we were more able before to be balanced and acknowledge that we too have shortcomings. I also don't think we were as quick to judge. I hope the pendulum swings back to where we allow people their flaws without being overly critical, and to where we can objectively acknowledge we aren't perfect, and that's ok. This extremely judgmental reaction to what we view as other people's flaws, and our unwillingness to be empathetic to differences, is currently destroying our country from within. I think anonymous boards have helped us to develop this very argumentative and unforgiving inner core, without even noticing it was happening. My colleagues and I were recently discussing that our country as a whole was more tolerant and live and let live in the 80s and 90s. I'm not sure how we unring the bell, but I sure hope we do.

I disagree. I am often shocked at some of the comments Europeans will make about America and how quick they are to judge about things they often know little about. I would NEVER say something bad about someone's country. It's like insulting someone's home. The Americans I know are not the types who would travel abroad and make rude comments about the host's country. Whereas that seems very common for Europeans to do. It's like they hear this stuff frequently in the media and don't even recognize they are being rude.

+1
We have British neighbors who take every opportunity to say disparaging things about the U.S. I would dearly love to tell them to just move back to the U.K. They'd be happier (I guess?) and we'd be happier. I can't imagine living in a foreign country and being that rude.

I believe its OK to ask them why they don't move to the UK, as long as you ask the BLM thugs why they also don't consider moving elsewhere.

Why live in a country you despise?

[Anonymous]

Just to make sure I don't offend any of those hypersensitive American friends: by BLM thugs I mean the actual thugs who engaged in violence and helped discredit an otherwise worthwhile movement.

Anyone who doesn't like it here? Just move, British or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It truly amazes me how many people who have NEVER lived in a place feel qualified to weigh in and claim there are absolutely NO cultural differences and blame it all on the OP. That's a dead giveaway for someone who has really not stepped out of their comfort zone much in life. Or who is extremely socially dense and unaware

Exactly. When I first started traveling and living abroad, I was sooo open to the experience. All the differences were fascinating and beautiful. Now, I just want my American-sized large coffee at an American price. I want air conditioning (and I want Europe to stop pretending it doesn't get hot in the summer. IT HAPPENS EVERY SUMMER.) I want appliances that aren't built for a single person. I want people to shower every day. Now that I'm indisputably well traveled, I am more American than I've ever been.

+1!

This has been my experience also.

[Anonymous]

I am Indian born. Having lived in 4 different countries, I can definitely say Americans are the best. Endearing, warm and genuine people. This is the country and people I feel closest to. I'm not even interested in stepping foot in Europe after my personal experience

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am Indian born. Having lived in 4 different countries, I can definitely say Americans are the best. Endearing, warm and genuine people. This is the country and people I feel closest to. I'm not even interested in stepping foot in Europe after my personal experience

Thank you! How lovely. You are one of us now