Sad about no longer being attracted to DW

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m around the same age as OP and his wife. I’m 5 pounds heavier than my pre pregnancy weight of 125 so I have gained 5 pounds in 15 years and having 3 children.

Pretty sure Dh feels similarly to me. He is softer but he will probably feel he is not that attracted to me anymore.

Congrats? Trying being pregnant 10 times in a decade. Hint, I have far fewer than 10 children. I've been pregnant or on fertility med for the last 3 years straight.

I don’t even understand what the PP you are responding to is saying. They gained 5 pounds and are “softer” so he is not that attracted to her anymore? Uh, ok. I would have said - congratulations for marrying someone so superficial. Don’t think most guys are complaining about 5 pounds and natural aging.

What I’m saying is that many men who have been with their wives for 20+ years are not as attracted to their wives whether they gained 5 pounds, 20 pounds or 70 pounds.

I’m not very attracted to DH either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m around the same age as OP and his wife. I’m 5 pounds heavier than my pre pregnancy weight of 125 so I have gained 5 pounds in 15 years and having 3 children.

Pretty sure Dh feels similarly to me. He is softer but he will probably feel he is not that attracted to me anymore.

Congrats? Trying being pregnant 10 times in a decade. Hint, I have far fewer than 10 children. I've been pregnant or on fertility med for the last 3 years straight.

I don’t even understand what the PP you are responding to is saying. They gained 5 pounds and are “softer” so he is not that attracted to her anymore? Uh, ok. I would have said - congratulations for marrying someone so superficial. Don’t think most guys are complaining about 5 pounds and natural aging.

We have no idea what the OP is complaining about. He just says that his wife gained weight and appears “frumpy” and that she regularly exercises.

It’s probably more than 5 pounds, but it could easily be that she gained 15 pounds, doesn’t dress sexy or wear makeup, and is going grey.

[Anonymous]

[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m around the same age as OP and his wife. I’m 5 pounds heavier than my pre pregnancy weight of 125 so I have gained 5 pounds in 15 years and having 3 children.

Pretty sure Dh feels similarly to me. He is softer but he will probably feel he is not that attracted to me anymore.

Congrats? Trying being pregnant 10 times in a decade. Hint, I have far fewer than 10 children. I've been pregnant or on fertility med for the last 3 years straight.

I don’t even understand what the PP you are responding to is saying. They gained 5 pounds and are “softer” so he is not that attracted to her anymore? Uh, ok. I would have said - congratulations for marrying someone so superficial. Don’t think most guys are complaining about 5 pounds and natural aging.

We have no idea what the OP is complaining about. He just says that his wife gained weight and appears “frumpy” and that she regularly exercises.

It’s probably more than 5 pounds, but it could easily be that she gained 15 pounds, doesn’t dress sexy or wear makeup, and is going grey.

He already said it was 70 pounds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m around the same age as OP and his wife. I’m 5 pounds heavier than my pre pregnancy weight of 125 so I have gained 5 pounds in 15 years and having 3 children.

Pretty sure Dh feels similarly to me. He is softer but he will probably feel he is not that attracted to me anymore.

Congrats? Trying being pregnant 10 times in a decade. Hint, I have far fewer than 10 children. I've been pregnant or on fertility med for the last 3 years straight.

I don’t even understand what the PP you are responding to is saying. They gained 5 pounds and are “softer” so he is not that attracted to her anymore? Uh, ok. I would have said - congratulations for marrying someone so superficial. Don’t think most guys are complaining about 5 pounds and natural aging.

We have no idea what the OP is complaining about. He just says that his wife gained weight and appears “frumpy” and that she regularly exercises.

It’s probably more than 5 pounds, but it could easily be that she gained 15 pounds, doesn’t dress sexy or wear makeup, and is going grey.

Many people divorce or cheat in their forties and fifties. This is when they stop being attracted to one another. The kids are older and don’t need as much parenting so the parents who stayed together for the kids no longer feel the need to stay together as their kids leave for college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love my wife and I love our family. We have 2 beautiful children, common values, and compatible parenting styles. DW is smart and has a successful career. I respect her and I am grateful to her for giving us our children.

That being said, she let herself go after the kids were born. She is an attractive woman, but she put on quite a bit of weight (the youngest is 8 by now), and she frequently looks frumpy. Of course I would never dare to say anything and would never cheat, but I am just sad and an anonymous forum is the only place I can admit it.

Flame away.

This time is stressful. No way we could have done any of this, but if I had the money it would have been huge to: pay for a housekeeper (weekly), a nanny to watch kids and cook kids food 3-5 times a week, and weekly self care (massage, coach, therapy) for your wife—- this time is incredibly stressful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m around the same age as OP and his wife. I’m 5 pounds heavier than my pre pregnancy weight of 125 so I have gained 5 pounds in 15 years and having 3 children.

Pretty sure Dh feels similarly to me. He is softer but he will probably feel he is not that attracted to me anymore.

Congrats? Trying being pregnant 10 times in a decade. Hint, I have far fewer than 10 children. I've been pregnant or on fertility med for the last 3 years straight.

I don’t even understand what the PP you are responding to is saying. They gained 5 pounds and are “softer” so he is not that attracted to her anymore? Uh, ok. I would have said - congratulations for marrying someone so superficial. Don’t think most guys are complaining about 5 pounds and natural aging.

We have no idea what the OP is complaining about. He just says that his wife gained weight and appears “frumpy” and that she regularly exercises.

It’s probably more than 5 pounds, but it could easily be that she gained 15 pounds, doesn’t dress sexy or wear makeup, and is going grey.

He already said it was 70 pounds.

Birthing a human takes a hellacious toll on the body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m around the same age as OP and his wife. I’m 5 pounds heavier than my pre pregnancy weight of 125 so I have gained 5 pounds in 15 years and having 3 children.

Pretty sure Dh feels similarly to me. He is softer but he will probably feel he is not that attracted to me anymore.

Congrats? Trying being pregnant 10 times in a decade. Hint, I have far fewer than 10 children. I've been pregnant or on fertility med for the last 3 years straight.

I don’t even understand what the PP you are responding to is saying. They gained 5 pounds and are “softer” so he is not that attracted to her anymore? Uh, ok. I would have said - congratulations for marrying someone so superficial. Don’t think most guys are complaining about 5 pounds and natural aging.

We have no idea what the OP is complaining about. He just says that his wife gained weight and appears “frumpy” and that she regularly exercises.

It’s probably more than 5 pounds, but it could easily be that she gained 15 pounds, doesn’t dress sexy or wear makeup, and is going grey.

He already said it was 70 pounds.

Birthing a human takes a hellacious toll on the body.

so true! I had three mega babies all by C-section and my stomach took the brunt of it. My weight is ok but my stomach is not. Thankfully, my husband doesn’t seem to mind given his level of attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m around the same age as OP and his wife. I’m 5 pounds heavier than my pre pregnancy weight of 125 so I have gained 5 pounds in 15 years and having 3 children.

Pretty sure Dh feels similarly to me. He is softer but he will probably feel he is not that attracted to me anymore.

Congrats? Trying being pregnant 10 times in a decade. Hint, I have far fewer than 10 children. I've been pregnant or on fertility med for the last 3 years straight.

I don’t even understand what the PP you are responding to is saying. They gained 5 pounds and are “softer” so he is not that attracted to her anymore? Uh, ok. I would have said - congratulations for marrying someone so superficial. Don’t think most guys are complaining about 5 pounds and natural aging.

We have no idea what the OP is complaining about. He just says that his wife gained weight and appears “frumpy” and that she regularly exercises.

It’s probably more than 5 pounds, but it could easily be that she gained 15 pounds, doesn’t dress sexy or wear makeup, and is going grey.

He already said it was 70 pounds.

That was a different poster talking about his own wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m around the same age as OP and his wife. I’m 5 pounds heavier than my pre pregnancy weight of 125 so I have gained 5 pounds in 15 years and having 3 children.

Pretty sure Dh feels similarly to me. He is softer but he will probably feel he is not that attracted to me anymore.

Congrats? Trying being pregnant 10 times in a decade. Hint, I have far fewer than 10 children. I've been pregnant or on fertility med for the last 3 years straight.

I don’t even understand what the PP you are responding to is saying. They gained 5 pounds and are “softer” so he is not that attracted to her anymore? Uh, ok. I would have said - congratulations for marrying someone so superficial. Don’t think most guys are complaining about 5 pounds and natural aging.

We have no idea what the OP is complaining about. He just says that his wife gained weight and appears “frumpy” and that she regularly exercises.

It’s probably more than 5 pounds, but it could easily be that she gained 15 pounds, doesn’t dress sexy or wear makeup, and is going grey.

He already said it was 70 pounds.

That was a different poster. He said this later:

Anonymous wrote: Sorry. I was referring to being the OP of a different post. I am not the thread starting OP.

My wife (70lbs/18 years) is not frumpy . She wears all black all the time to hide her fat...boring (black is choc, just not all the time ) but not frumpy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m around the same age as OP and his wife. I’m 5 pounds heavier than my pre pregnancy weight of 125 so I have gained 5 pounds in 15 years and having 3 children.

Pretty sure Dh feels similarly to me. He is softer but he will probably feel he is not that attracted to me anymore.

Congrats? Trying being pregnant 10 times in a decade. Hint, I have far fewer than 10 children. I've been pregnant or on fertility med for the last 3 years straight.

I don’t even understand what the PP you are responding to is saying. They gained 5 pounds and are “softer” so he is not that attracted to her anymore? Uh, ok. I would have said - congratulations for marrying someone so superficial. Don’t think most guys are complaining about 5 pounds and natural aging.

We have no idea what the OP is complaining about. He just says that his wife gained weight and appears “frumpy” and that she regularly exercises.

It’s probably more than 5 pounds, but it could easily be that she gained 15 pounds, doesn’t dress sexy or wear makeup, and is going grey.

Many people divorce or cheat in their forties and fifties. This is when they stop being attracted to one another. The kids are older and don’t need as much parenting so the parents who stayed together for the kids no longer feel the need to stay together as their kids leave for college.

Your 40s and 50s are also when people start really missing their youth and wishing they were young again. And if someone besides your spouse makes you feel young again, that can be extremely tempting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m around the same age as OP and his wife. I’m 5 pounds heavier than my pre pregnancy weight of 125 so I have gained 5 pounds in 15 years and having 3 children.

Pretty sure Dh feels similarly to me. He is softer but he will probably feel he is not that attracted to me anymore.

Congrats? Trying being pregnant 10 times in a decade. Hint, I have far fewer than 10 children. I've been pregnant or on fertility med for the last 3 years straight.

I don’t even understand what the PP you are responding to is saying. They gained 5 pounds and are “softer” so he is not that attracted to her anymore? Uh, ok. I would have said - congratulations for marrying someone so superficial. Don’t think most guys are complaining about 5 pounds and natural aging.

We have no idea what the OP is complaining about. He just says that his wife gained weight and appears “frumpy” and that she regularly exercises.

It’s probably more than 5 pounds, but it could easily be that she gained 15 pounds, doesn’t dress sexy or wear makeup, and is going grey.

He already said it was 70 pounds.

Birthing a human takes a hellacious toll on the body.

Not a 70lb toll. You shouldn't gain more than 30lbs when pregnant and most of that is baby+. Yes hormones and all that, but birthing children does not cause a 70lb weight gain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m around the same age as OP and his wife. I’m 5 pounds heavier than my pre pregnancy weight of 125 so I have gained 5 pounds in 15 years and having 3 children.

Pretty sure Dh feels similarly to me. He is softer but he will probably feel he is not that attracted to me anymore.

Congrats? Trying being pregnant 10 times in a decade. Hint, I have far fewer than 10 children. I've been pregnant or on fertility med for the last 3 years straight.

I don’t even understand what the PP you are responding to is saying. They gained 5 pounds and are “softer” so he is not that attracted to her anymore? Uh, ok. I would have said - congratulations for marrying someone so superficial. Don’t think most guys are complaining about 5 pounds and natural aging.

We have no idea what the OP is complaining about. He just says that his wife gained weight and appears “frumpy” and that she regularly exercises.

It’s probably more than 5 pounds, but it could easily be that she gained 15 pounds, doesn’t dress sexy or wear makeup, and is going grey.

He already said it was 70 pounds.

Birthing a human takes a hellacious toll on the body.

Not a 70lb toll. You shouldn't gain more than 30lbs when pregnant and most of that is baby+. Yes hormones and all that, but birthing children does not cause a 70lb weight gain.

At 24 I gained 50 lbs. I did absolutely nothing out of the ordinary. At 38 I was diagnosed with a metabolic disorder that is only triggered by hormonal events like pregnancy, IVF and pregnancy loss. You can only imagine what 10 pregnancies have done to me (but, hint, I don't have 10 children)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m around the same age as OP and his wife. I’m 5 pounds heavier than my pre pregnancy weight of 125 so I have gained 5 pounds in 15 years and having 3 children.

Pretty sure Dh feels similarly to me. He is softer but he will probably feel he is not that attracted to me anymore.

Congrats? Trying being pregnant 10 times in a decade. Hint, I have far fewer than 10 children. I've been pregnant or on fertility med for the last 3 years straight.

I don’t even understand what the PP you are responding to is saying. They gained 5 pounds and are “softer” so he is not that attracted to her anymore? Uh, ok. I would have said - congratulations for marrying someone so superficial. Don’t think most guys are complaining about 5 pounds and natural aging.

The poster that I responded too was bragging about 5 lbs over 3 pregnancies. Perhaps that's not the average experience. 3 pregnancies = at least 15 years of pregnancies and nursing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m around the same age as OP and his wife. I’m 5 pounds heavier than my pre pregnancy weight of 125 so I have gained 5 pounds in 15 years and having 3 children.

Pretty sure Dh feels similarly to me. He is softer but he will probably feel he is not that attracted to me anymore.

Congrats? Trying being pregnant 10 times in a decade. Hint, I have far fewer than 10 children. I've been pregnant or on fertility med for the last 3 years straight.

I don’t even understand what the PP you are responding to is saying. They gained 5 pounds and are “softer” so he is not that attracted to her anymore? Uh, ok. I would have said - congratulations for marrying someone so superficial. Don’t think most guys are complaining about 5 pounds and natural aging.

What I’m saying is that many men who have been with their wives for 20+ years are not as attracted to their wives whether they gained 5 pounds, 20 pounds or 70 pounds.

I’m not very attracted to DH either.

After 20 years, I still find my husband attractive, even though he has gained weight. But something is missing; less exciting - don't really know how to get it back. He is less attracted to me because I lost a lot of weight and has said so, which makes me feel less attracted to him. I've told him we should just trade places with OP if he wants a fat wife.

[Anonymous]

Hair salon gift cards, mani/pedi gifts cards and a shopping trip or two should do the trick.