Sad about no longer being attracted to DW

[Anonymous]

I love my wife and I love our family. We have 2 beautiful children, common values, and compatible parenting styles. DW is smart and has a successful career. I respect her and I am grateful to her for giving us our children.

That being said, she let herself go after the kids were born. She is an attractive woman, but she put on quite a bit of weight (the youngest is 8 by now), and she frequently looks frumpy. Of course I would never dare to say anything and would never cheat, but I am just sad and an anonymous forum is the only place I can admit it.

Flame away.

[Anonymous]

Some women's bodies don't bounce back from childbearing as some other women's bodies do.

Most regular working women don't have the multiple hours per day to put into fitness routines and cooking super clean healthy meals, even if her children and husband would eat that food if she did.

How much of the housekeeping and life management are you doing, OP? How much of the childcare and shuttling to activities are you doing? How much shopping and cooking? How much time are you giving her to sleep, to engage in fitness, etc?

There are seasons to life, OP. Sounds like you have most of what makes a very good marriage and your wife's body paid the price to give you two beautiful children.

So yeah, you can be sad that youth has passed you by and you and your wife aren't hotties anymore, but please don't expect an outpouring of sympathy.

[Anonymous]

I get it. I feel the same about my husband. I try to remember there is more to marriage than that. Can you take her somewhere special where she would be forced to dress it and compliment her on how good she looks. Babysitting for kids? Help around house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some women's bodies don't bounce back from childbearing as some other women's bodies do.

Most regular working women don't have the multiple hours per day to put into fitness routines and cooking super clean healthy meals, even if her children and husband would eat that food if she did.

How much of the housekeeping and life management are you doing, OP? How much of the childcare and shuttling to activities are you doing? How much shopping and cooking? How much time are you giving her to sleep, to engage in fitness, etc?

There are seasons to life, OP. Sounds like you have most of what makes a very good marriage and your wife's body paid the price to give you two beautiful children.

So yeah, you can be sad that youth has passed you by and you and your wife aren't hotties anymore, but please don't expect an outpouring of sympathy.

We have a live-in nanny/housekeeper and I do my fair share of chores/childcare. We both exercise regularly. I think it comes down to eating too much. Or not cutting back with metabolism being slower.

[Anonymous]

It took a long time after having kids before I had the time and energy to figure out what foods and exercises and clothes and even undergarments worked for my body and even how to fix my hair after all these life changes.

But at one point I invested in myself in that way and I think I look very pretty. But I was frumpy and overweight for a long time. But DH always told me I was the most beautiful woman he knew. So I wasn’t really doing it for DH. Be patient.

[Anonymous]

Genetics?

[Anonymous]

Same with DH but i know he knows and is trying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some women's bodies don't bounce back from childbearing as some other women's bodies do.

Most regular working women don't have the multiple hours per day to put into fitness routines and cooking super clean healthy meals, even if her children and husband would eat that food if she did.

How much of the housekeeping and life management are you doing, OP? How much of the childcare and shuttling to activities are you doing? How much shopping and cooking? How much time are you giving her to sleep, to engage in fitness, etc?

There are seasons to life, OP. Sounds like you have most of what makes a very good marriage and your wife's body paid the price to give you two beautiful children.

So yeah, you can be sad that youth has passed you by and you and your wife aren't hotties anymore, but please don't expect an outpouring of sympathy.

We have a live-in nanny/housekeeper and I do my fair share of chores/childcare. We both exercise regularly. I think it comes down to eating too much. Or not cutting back with metabolism being slower.

Well, you clearly have it all figured out.

Something tells me that you also manage to transmit this information to her. I hope I’m wrong and you don’t scowl at her portion sizes or make weird little digs at her food choices. So many men think that they are entitled to a wife who looks a certain way and make shitty little comments thinking that it will “encourage” her to lose the weight.

[Anonymous]

It's all in your head. You've ruined your sex life based on your inability to control your brain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some women's bodies don't bounce back from childbearing as some other women's bodies do.

Most regular working women don't have the multiple hours per day to put into fitness routines and cooking super clean healthy meals, even if her children and husband would eat that food if she did.

How much of the housekeeping and life management are you doing, OP? How much of the childcare and shuttling to activities are you doing? How much shopping and cooking? How much time are you giving her to sleep, to engage in fitness, etc?

There are seasons to life, OP. Sounds like you have most of what makes a very good marriage and your wife's body paid the price to give you two beautiful children.

So yeah, you can be sad that youth has passed you by and you and your wife aren't hotties anymore, but please don't expect an outpouring of sympathy.

I know you're trying to be empathetic, but I honestly think some people just don't want to be healthy. It takes 2 minutes to open a can of tuna and dump it on a bed of kale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some women's bodies don't bounce back from childbearing as some other women's bodies do.

Most regular working women don't have the multiple hours per day to put into fitness routines and cooking super clean healthy meals, even if her children and husband would eat that food if she did.

How much of the housekeeping and life management are you doing, OP? How much of the childcare and shuttling to activities are you doing? How much shopping and cooking? How much time are you giving her to sleep, to engage in fitness, etc?

There are seasons to life, OP. Sounds like you have most of what makes a very good marriage and your wife's body paid the price to give you two beautiful children.

So yeah, you can be sad that youth has passed you by and you and your wife aren't hotties anymore, but please don't expect an outpouring of sympathy.

I know you're trying to be empathetic, but I honestly think some people just don't want to be healthy. It takes 2 minutes to open a can of tuna and dump it on a bed of kale.

It doesn't matter if you are fat or skinny, when you are old your skin is less attractive, you still have an unattractive stomach it's not pretty, your face has changed.

Being overweight does not make you any less attractive than basic age. At least to people who are superficial.

I'm not dumpling tuna on kale to still be old and unattractive. Bleck, disgusting.

[Anonymous]

I would be upset if my husband put on like 100 extra pounds for no good reason too. I'd probably divorce him bc I don't find that attractive or want to be associated with someone who is that fat in a daily basis. If it's from like a legit health issue (cancer) different story but I see it all the time: women have kids and then get super fat. I'm a woman and have 3 kids and am still at my thin college weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some women's bodies don't bounce back from childbearing as some other women's bodies do.

Most regular working women don't have the multiple hours per day to put into fitness routines and cooking super clean healthy meals, even if her children and husband would eat that food if she did.

How much of the housekeeping and life management are you doing, OP? How much of the childcare and shuttling to activities are you doing? How much shopping and cooking? How much time are you giving her to sleep, to engage in fitness, etc?

There are seasons to life, OP. Sounds like you have most of what makes a very good marriage and your wife's body paid the price to give you two beautiful children.

So yeah, you can be sad that youth has passed you by and you and your wife aren't hotties anymore, but please don't expect an outpouring of sympathy.

I know you're trying to be empathetic, but I honestly think some people just don't want to be healthy. It takes 2 minutes to open a can of tuna and dump it on a bed of kale.

I love tuna and kale. Have fun being obese!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some women's bodies don't bounce back from childbearing as some other women's bodies do.

Most regular working women don't have the multiple hours per day to put into fitness routines and cooking super clean healthy meals, even if her children and husband would eat that food if she did.

How much of the housekeeping and life management are you doing, OP? How much of the childcare and shuttling to activities are you doing? How much shopping and cooking? How much time are you giving her to sleep, to engage in fitness, etc?

There are seasons to life, OP. Sounds like you have most of what makes a very good marriage and your wife's body paid the price to give you two beautiful children.

So yeah, you can be sad that youth has passed you by and you and your wife aren't hotties anymore, but please don't expect an outpouring of sympathy.

I know you're trying to be empathetic, but I honestly think some people just don't want to be healthy. It takes 2 minutes to open a can of tuna and dump it on a bed of kale.

I love tuna and kale. Have fun being obese!

We are having fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some women's bodies don't bounce back from childbearing as some other women's bodies do.

Most regular working women don't have the multiple hours per day to put into fitness routines and cooking super clean healthy meals, even if her children and husband would eat that food if she did.

How much of the housekeeping and life management are you doing, OP? How much of the childcare and shuttling to activities are you doing? How much shopping and cooking? How much time are you giving her to sleep, to engage in fitness, etc?

There are seasons to life, OP. Sounds like you have most of what makes a very good marriage and your wife's body paid the price to give you two beautiful children.

So yeah, you can be sad that youth has passed you by and you and your wife aren't hotties anymore, but please don't expect an outpouring of sympathy.

I know you're trying to be empathetic, but I honestly think some people just don't want to be healthy. It takes 2 minutes to open a can of tuna and dump it on a bed of kale.

It doesn't matter if you are fat or skinny, when you are old your skin is less attractive, you still have an unattractive stomach it's not pretty, your face has changed.

Being overweight does not make you any less attractive than basic age. At least to people who are superficial.

I'm not dumpling tuna on kale to still be old and unattractive. Bleck, disgusting.

No one is pretending that a 55yo is at their "peak." But to write that aging automatically makes you unattractive is just pathetic and defeatist.