The Most Active Threads Since Friday

The most active threads over the weekend were mostly ones that I've already discussed. That was the case with the most active overall, but the second most active thread, which was titled, "Here’s Why Asian Americans Shifted Right by 9 points" and posted in the "Political Discussion" forum, was one that I haven't previously addressed. Therefore, I'll start with that one. This thread was started on Saturday and is currently 26 pages long. I was a bit confused reading the first post of the thread because the original poster did not indicate that the text was entirely a quote. When I started reading, I was under the impression that the original poster had personally conducted detailed research into the voting patterns of Asian Americans. I eventually figured out that the original poster was actually quoting from an article published on the Real Clear Politics website. The main point of the quote is that Asian Americans voted for President-elect, cult leader, and convicted felon Donald Trump in greater numbers than was initially believed and that their motivation was the Democrats' focus on "woke" issues, especially affirmative action. I think that it is worth pointing out that Real Clear Politics is a right-leaning website, the author of the article is an employee of the conservative Manhattan Institute, and it appears that only right-wingers were quoted in the article (at least in the portion quoted). That doesn't mean that the conclusions are wrong, but it is worth noting the perspective being presented. What was wrong, however, is the spin the original poster gave the thread. The thread's title suggests that the thread will explain why Asian Americans shifted toward Trump. Then the quoted passage only deals with "woke" issues, giving the impression that Asian Americans were mostly motivated by opposition to woke policies. However, the article itself says that Asian Americans were primarily motivated by concerns about the economy and secondarily by worries about public safety. The original poster, who did not mention the economy or public safety, was quite misleading in how this was presented. "Asian Americans" are getting a lot of attention these days, especially in topics surrounding education such as affirmative action. What is normally missing from such discussions is the diversity of the Asian American community. Not only are there East Asians and South Asians who differ significantly, but there is tremendous diversity even within those groups. It is somewhat ironic that at a time when Democrats are being criticized for "identity politics", it is conservatives engaging in identity politics when it comes to Asians. Moreover, there are some shortcomings in the analysis presented in this article. The author appears to have entirely judged the "shift" in Asian American voting based on presidential votes. It would be interesting to know if a similar voting pattern occurred in other races. In addition, the author seems to have relied on sources who are far from objective. For instance, local right-wing firebrand Asra Nomani is quoted throughout the article. Nomani's perspective is not all that widely shared even locally among Asians — at least as I can determine from DCUM posts — let alone nationally. Nevertheless, she is quoted as citing admissions changes at Thomas Jefferson High School as a reason for changes in Asian American voting. Call me skeptical that anyone outside the Northern Virginia region even knows about TJ, let alone changed their votes because of the admissions changes.

The next most active thread that I have not already discussed was posted in the "Off-Topic" forum. Titled, "If you could know the truth about any unsolved mystery, which would it be?", the original poster suggests the John F. Kennedy and JonBenét Ramsey mysteries as ones that she would like to see solved. This thread mostly consists of posts simply suggesting mysteries, often several of them, that interest posters. I've said before that I have a difficult time summarizing threads that mostly consist of lists. The JonBenét case is one that is mentioned by several posters, as is the disappearance of Amelia Earhart, and the building of the pyramids. Some mysteries are of primarily local interest, such as the disappearance of Relisha Rudd and the murder of Robert Wone. Several posters expressed an interest in resolving the fate of Asha Degree, a case about which I don't remember hearing previously. One poster wanted to know what happened to the Princes in the Tower, referring to the two sons of King Edward IV of England. It is generally believed that Richard III had a hand in their demise. Instead of listing all the mysteries that get mentioned in this thread, I have a story about an earlier rendition of the same idea. In a thread several years back, posters also mentioned mysteries that they wanted to see resolved. A couple of years after that thread had been started and well after it had ceased to be active, I received a phone call from a police detective in the Midwest. He said that he was working on a cold case that was mentioned in that thread. According to him, knowledge of the case was so limited that only someone involved in it would likely know enough to bring it up after so many years. I explained that I could not be of much help because our posters are anonymous, a lot of time had passed since the post had been written, and I had personally not even been aware of the post prior to his call. The post did originate from an IP address local to DC, however. I researched the post as best that I could, but did not find anything that might be helpful. However, I think this story is interesting because it demonstrates that the police do look into these old cases, even ones that are not well-known. Therefore, there is some hope, limited though it may be, that a few of these mysteries may someday be cleared up. I have no idea whether that poster had a personal connection of any sort to the case, but I assume so. That was also the case of a poster in this thread who said he wanted to know the fate of a murderer because he had gone to school with the murder victims. In several of the mysteries mentioned, other posters had information that they could add. As a result, there were a number of posts that engaged in discussion of one or more of the mysteries. Some of the mysteries mentioned were not mysteries as most of us might think of them, but rather celebrity gossip. For instance, more than one poster was interested in the relationship between Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman, and Katie Holmes. Similarly, another poster wanted to know what happened between Brad Pitt and his daughter Zahara. But, for the most part, posters stuck to unresolved murders.

Next was a thread titled, "Wife and I have dramatically different opinions about how much financial help should be given to adult kids" and posted in the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)" forum. The original poster asks whether a spouse should expect a spouse to pay for college, grad school, or a down payment on a house for their adult children. It was a little difficult for me to figure out what was going on with this thread. I didn't really understand the concept of a spouse expecting another spouse to pay for things for their own children. In my mind, both spouses would be paying for those things, or not paying as the case might be. In that case, as with all family spending, it would be negotiated between the spouses. I see from the responses that other posters suffered from this same confusion. At any rate, most of those responding seem to think that any or all of the three are acceptable expenditures. How many are paid for tends to depend on the financial resources available to the parents. After reading the original poster's own follow-up posts, I got a sense of from where he was coming. His parents apparently paid for all three things, but he believes that was detrimental to him and now believes that children should be forced to pay for two of the three themselves. He thinks that builds character and prevents the kids from getting spoiled. While the poster exhibits many characteristics that I normally associate with right-wingers, including calling other posters "NPCs", he repeatedly spoke negatively of President-elect, cult leader, and convicted felon Donald Trump. In particular, he considers Trump to be someone who did not fully develop mentally as an adult because of the financial assistance provided to him by his father. I think this poster is missing much of the bigger picture, however. For the many families, paying for their children's college is part of their commitment to helping their children succeed. Without that assistance, the kids might not be able to go to college or might be reluctant to pursue it. The kids succeed or fail in college due to their own efforts. Money for grad school and a down payment on a house are nice if the parents can afford them. But suggesting that sort of assistance automatically produces Trump-like children seems like a stretch. Trump, after all, received much more generous financial help and non-financial help as well. For instance, Trump probably would not have been admitted to the colleges he attended without his father's wealth and influence. Had Trump's father limited his help to simply paying for college, grad school, and a down payment, chances are that Trump would have turned out much differently. The original poster is completely wedded to the idea that hardship builds character and that providing the assistance he described to kids results in them being spoiled and entitled. Other posters argue, however, that the vast majority of adults who received such help from their parents are appreciative rather than entitled and hope to do the same for their kids. One thing that I think is going on in this thread is that many posters confuse the very wealthy with middle or upper middle class. One poster, for instance, says, "They feel entitled on an existential level. ‘My parents are wealthy, their parents were wealthy, therefore I *deserve* to be wealthy as do my children’…". This may well describe some very wealthy families, but it does not describe most middle class families. The adult children of families that poster describes are likely to be successful almost regardless of their own efforts and, therefore, they may not need strong work ethics". But for most families, worth ethics are not developed by saving for college, but by actually doing the work required to be accepted by a good school in the first place and then graduating from it. Based on the original poster's logic, nobody in a country with socialized education would ever develop a work ethic because they don't have to struggle to pay for college. That's absurd.

All the other threads among the ten most active threads over the weekend were ones that I've already discussed. When this happened before, I addressed a thread suggested by the frequent commenter Avalon. The same day that Avalon made her suggestion, an anonymous commenter suggested another thread that I promised to discuss someday. Today is that day. That thread was posted in the "Entertainment and Pop Culture" forum and titled, "Help me make a wallowing in heartbreak mix tape". The thread was started in mid-September and reached 13 pages before going dormant. The original poster described herself as a "Gen-X kid" whose husband has been cheating and never comes home. She wants to create a playlist to help her with "a few big ugly cries". She listed a number of artists whose music she had already chosen. The anonymous commenter who recommended this thread was impressed that posters had stayed on-topic and supportive. Even now, it looks that right down to the last post, posters were participating positively. It is always hard to guess how others will react to a post. If someone appears to be making an unwarranted request for support, they are likely to be ridiculed and abused throughout the thread. That is one of the reasons that DCUM has acquired a somewhat deserved reputation for meanness. But, when someone's request for assistance seems to be entirely justified, posters often react with surprising empathy. The second is what clearly happened in this case. Posters made a number of suggestions for which the original poster expressed gratitude. Posters also convinced the original poster to create a second, upbeat playlist so that she didn't spend all of her time in the dumps. As a result, song suggestions for both playlists were offered. Most of the songs were ones that I recognized and seemed like good suggestions. However, one song that took me by surprise was "Driver's License" by Olivia Rodrigo. While I've heard the song a number of times, I guess I never paid attention to the words and I didn't realize what it was about. But after actually listening to the lyrics, the topic was pretty obvious and it was a good suggestion. While some posters only suggested a song or two, some posters provided what could easily be complete playlists. Of course, no list of this sort would be complete without Taylor Swift and several of her songs were suggested and, in one case, an entire album. On the 8th page of the thread, the original poster provided her playlist, consisting of over 40 songs and said that she had "had such a good cry my chest hurt this morning". So, mission accomplished. But that was not enough to stop the thread which continued on for another 5 pages. Something about this thread clearly resonated with our audience, perhaps because it dealt with a topic to which many could relate. Several posters recommended songs that had been helpful during troubled times in their own relationships. While it looks like the song suggestions may have been helpful to the original poster, I have to think that the shared experience on DCUM along with the outpouring of support must have been cathartic to the original poster as well. At any rate, as the poster who recommended this thread implied, the thread shows that DCUM also has a good side. It might take having a cheating husband to discover that good side, but it is there if or when you need it.