The Most Active Threads Since Friday

The first thread that I will discuss today was actually the third most active over the weekend because the first and second most active were threads that I've previously covered. The thread was titled, "Can someone explain the mentality of never being proactive or organized to me?" and was posted in the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)" forum. The original poster says that her husband who has ADHD, which he has been treating with medicine, is never proactive and lacks basic administrative skills. As a result, the original poster is responsible for 95% of household administration and is also the main breadwinner. She essentially has to micromanager her husband, providing a recent example of her frustrations. While the original poster was out of town, her husband was supposed to help their son buy a birthday present and take him to an 8-year-old's birthday party. However, her husband overslept which meant their son was late to the party and they weren't able to buy a present. The husband put cash in a card instead. The original poster wonders whether her husband just expects her to do everything or is engaging in "weaponized incompetence". She doesn't understand what benefit there would be to her husband acting this way. This topic has repeatedly come up on DCUM over the years and I have read countless threads of a similar nature. This really has highlighted two things: 1) the significant number of husbands who suffer from ADHD, and; 2) the similarly large number of husbands who apparently expect their wives to treat them like their mothers probably did. It is the ADHD aspect that really catches other poster's attention in this thread and a lively debate breaks out on that topic. There are a number of posters who believe that ADHD not only explains the original poster's husband's behavior, but also provides an excuse. As such, the original poster is criticized for acting "superior" and not being sympathetic about her husband's condition. However, several posters who say that they have ADHD themselves, including the original poster, argue that ADHD, especially when medicated, is not an excuse. It may mean that individuals with such a condition need to work harder, but they should still be expected to be able to manage basic parenting tasks. Other posters argue that the husband is simply being lazy. He slept in and didn't get a present because he didn't think the party was important and didn't care about it. Had the event been something he prioritized, they content, his ADHD would not have gotten in the way. Some posters who have been in marriages like this have reconciled themselves to it and simply taken over most of the household management. One poster said that she has lowered the bar for her husband so low that it is on the floor and that she expects little more from him than basic childcare. But, of course, the DCUM relationship forum being the DCUM relationship forum, several posters recommended divorce. Some posters took an entirely different approach and argued that while oversleeping was not ideal, providing cash instead of a gift was perfectly fine and might even be preferred by some kids.

The next most active thread was the thread that I've previously discussed about Israel and Lebanon. Skipping that one, next was a thread posted in the "Entertainment and Pop Culture" forum titled, "Chappelle Roan concert meltdowns". I am no longer young which means that I also no longer know anything about the newest crop of popular musicians. I have heard of Chappelle Roan and actually forced myself to listen to a couple of her songs. But that is the extent of my knowledge about her. Hence, most of the discussion in this thread covered new ground for me. The original poster says that Roan has been cancelling many shows, first some small ones in Europe, then at the Austin City Limits festival, and more recently the All Things Go music festival that was to be held locally this weekend at the Merriweather Post Pavilion and also in New York City. The original poster says that these shows were likely booked before Roan was popular but since her fame blew up, many fans have spent money on tickets and travel hoping to see her. These cancellations have alienated and upset many of these fans. Roan blames the cancellations on her mental health situation but the original poster thinks that is a phony excuse. Those responding are quite divided. Some, like the original poster, think that any mental health issues she has, if they exist at all, are being exaggerated. They believe that Roan is cancelling low-paying shows and instead only performing when she is paid more. To them, mental health is just a cynical excuse. Others believe that she does have mental health issues and they praise her for addressing these publicly. Other posters argue that Roan is just fragile and overly sensitive to criticism, much of which she brings on herself. Some even extend this criticism to the entire "Gen Z" which they consider to be overly frail and too obsessed with their feelings. Most of these posters suggest that Roan should just "suck it up" and "do her job". Many of them argue that Roan is engaging in "diva behavior" without having earned the status of actually being a diva. One thing I learned from this thread is how common it is for younger celebrities such as Roan to obsess over social media, not only using it to interact with their fans, but actually letting it affect their lives. In many ways, posters in this thread treat Roan almost as much as a social media influencer as they do a singer. Apparently Roan's current round of problems may have begun when she posted on social media that she did not intend to make a presidential endorsement. First, let me express my surprise that anyone cares about a recently famous, and only sort of famous at that, singer's opinion about the presidency. But, apparently this ignited a backlash — also on social media — to which Roan reacted, again on social media, by explaining that she was obviously going to vote for Vice President Kamala Harris but only wanted her fans to think critically. Personally, I miss the days when music stars worked out their inner demons by trashing a hotel room and driving a Ferrari into a swimming pool. Now they apparently just get into flame wars on social media

Next was a thread titled, "WSJ -Sorry, Harvard. Everyone Wants to go to School in the South" and posted in the "College and University Discussion" forum. The original poster quotes from a Wall Street Journal article with the same headline as the title of this thread. The excerpt shows statistics demonstrating increased interest in universities in the U.S. South by students from the North. This topic has been repeatedly brought up in the colleges forum and a number of posters appear to be quite invested in convincing others of the popularity of southern universities. I've always thought that these threads are partially, if not entirely, politically motivated. If not in traditional two-party politics sense, at least in the anti-traditional elite university politics that has come to characterize the last few years. That is certainly true of this article, or at least its headline. Note that instead of saying something like, "Southern Universities, Great, there is Increased Interest in You" the headline writer took a swipe at Harvard. At least as much time is spent in these threads bashing traditional elite universities as extolling the benefits of southern schools. To hear some posters tell it, traditional elite colleges have watered down their admissions processes, becomes havens of protests, are overwhelmed by "wokeness", and are shells of their former selves. As a result, students now prefer southern universities. However, as posters are quick to point out, there is no evidence of a drop off of interest in the traditional schools. Rather applications, acceptance numbers, and yield rates at traditional elite colleges remain extremely competitive if not becoming more so. Moreover, the article uses statistics going back two decades to illustrate the increased interest. As such, this is obviously not new interest, but something that has been developing over a period of 20 years or so. What really seems to be the case is that students for whom traditional elite universities may be long shots, or who can't afford those schools, are turning to southern schools that may be less competitive and/or less expensive. These threads about southern universities always attract one or more posters who are obsessed with women's healthcare. Not that such a topic is not worthy of an obsession, but such posts always disrupt these threads. This thread was no exception. Posters point to anti-abortion laws that complicate, if not prohibit entirely, many important women's healthcare procedures. They argue that it is dangerous for a woman of reproductive age to be in such an environment and, therefore, college-aged women in particular should avoid such states. These posts and the responses to them turn such threads, including this one, into debates about abortion, birth control, and sexual activity. This one got bad enough that I eventually locked it

The next most active thread was the one about a school teacher who wears a mask which I discussed last week. I'll skip that one today and go to a thread posted in the "Metropolitan DC Local Politics" forum. Titled, "MM Is Dead", the title immediately made me think that something terrible had happened to either Meghan Markle or Dallas Cowboys football coach Mike McCarthy. The text of the post was not particularly helpful in clarifying since the original poster did nothing more than write, "Ha. Ha. I love it." and then provide a link to an ARLnow article. No explanation of what any of this is about was provided. The poster, then followed his own post with a second post consisting of nothing but three smiley emojis. Following the link provided by the original poster discloses that "MM" refers to the "Missing Middle" project in Arlington County. This project included zoning changes that would allow multiunit housing to replace single-family homes. The idea is that housing in Arlington currently consists of apartments used by the poorest residents and single family houses that only the wealthy can afford. Moderately-priced housing is missing and this project sought to provide that through everything from duplexes to six-unit buildings. A circuit-court judge ruled in favor of plaintiffs who had brought suit to stop the zoning changes. However, the original poster may have exaggerated the Missing Middle's demise because the County intends to appeal the decision. At first this thread is mostly a debate about the ruling with some posters questioning the judge's decision while others highlight shortcomings in the County's procedures that the judge identified. But eventually the thread became a debate about affordable housing projects in general and this one in particular. Finally, the thread ended up in a fight between YIMBYs — pro-development folks — and anti-development NIMBYs. That dispute is an almost constant activity in this forum with YIMBYs and NIMBYs fighting about everything from bike lanes to affordable housing. I have discussed many threads about different aspects of housing affordability. However, I always come to the same conclusion. There is a huge, and perhaps unbridgeable, divide between those who currently own homes with which they are happy and those who are unable to find affordable housing that meets their desires. In Arlington, the first group is frequently represented by older home owners whose aging houses are somewhat humble. If there are not potential buyers who plan to tear them down and replace them with larger single family homes drooling over the opportunity to buy them, there are developers who want to replace them with a multi-unit building. Neither alternative is generally welcome by the neighbors who want to preserve the neighborhood's character. However, those concerned about the high cost of housing are desparate to find ways of making lower-priced housing available. As things stand, the County is at risk of becoming unfordable for many of the County's professional employees. This case appears to have been largely decided on the basis of infrastructure capacity and whether increased housing would overwhelm the County's sewers, roads, and schools. With both sides dug in, it is unlikely that this battle will end soon.