Wednesday's Most Active Threads

The first thread I'll discuss today was titled, "I’m currently at a nude beach in Miami. AMA" and posted in the "Off-Topic" forum. I'm not sure how long this thread will be able to remain on the site before Google flags it as "adult content" and I have to remove it. So, if this thread interests you, read it quickly. The original poster says that she is posting from a nude beach and welcomes any questions from DCUM users. She says that everyone on the beach, like her, is using their phones because the water is too cold to get in. There is considerable interest among those posting questions in how well-equipped the men are, as well as the state of said equipment. The original poster admits to having similar interests. I assume that the observations she provides are disappointing to those asking, if not entirely surprising. Many posters are interested in her motivation for visting the beach which she explains as being a sort of personal challenge that she wanted to accomplish while she was still relatively attractive. The original poster repeatedly comments that the crowd appears to consist predominantly of gay men, something about which she comes across as being disappointed because they lack interest in her. Several posters describe their assumption that most of the beachgoers are fat and unattractive. The original poster confirms that this is largely the case, though there are both male and female exceptions, Some posters' questions were much more mundane, for instance asking about the use of sun screen. The original poster said that both she and her husband were able to avoid sunburn. A pleasant surprise for the original poster was the peacefulness of the beach which she attributes to the absense of children and teens. Ultimately, the original poster appears happy to have had this experience, but says she is unsure that she would do it again.

It is the time of the year in which we all look forward to celebrating our cherished traditions such as arguing about Christmas cards on DCUM. A thread titled, "Do your family cards say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays?" and posted in the "Off-Topic" forum kicks things off this year. The original poster says that she would much rather send cards saying "Merry Christmas" but many of those to whom she would send them are not Christian. She asks if it would be appropriate to send Christmas cards to recipients who don't celebrate Christmas. A clear plurality of those responding, if not a majority, argues that sticking to "Happy Holidays" is preferable. There are several different holidays celebrated at this time of the year, so such cards are more inclusive. Several posters who do not celebrate Christmas say that they prefer Happy Holidays cards, but are not offended or angered by Christmas cards. Quite a few posters explain that they only send "Merry Christmas" cards, even to non-Christians, because they are friends with them and are aware that the recipients celebrate Christmas in some manner. There is a side discussion about whether Christmas is a secular or religious holiday with a tiring, if predictable, debate about the holiday's pagan roots. My favorite posters in these threads are the ones who are aggressively adamant about sending Christmas cards. You are going to get one from them whether you like it or not. They are making a statement. I am not sure that the statement has anything to do with peace, love, and joy, but it is a statement nonetheless.

"My sister seems to be avoiding her 3 young kids and it bothers me" is a thread posted in the "Family Relationships" forum in which the original poster describes how her sister has a very work-focused life that doesn't leave much time for seeing her children. The sister rarely sees her kids in the mornings and frequently doesn't get to see them in the evening either, meaning entire days go by in which she doesn't see her children. The original poster is bothered by this and asks what others would do in this situation. Most of those responding tell the poster in various ways to mind her own business. Some suggest that the original poster is jealous or resentful of her sister. A few point out that nobody would complain about a man who was behaving as the sister does. The original poster, feeling that her concerns were not adequately articulated, provided additional observations about her sister's parenting related to a lack of concern for health and safety. Responders are still generally not persuaded, with some sharing experiences with those with similar parenting styles in which things turned out okay. Quite a few posters emphasized that the sister's commitment to her job was resulting in financial stability which would be of great benefit to the children. There are a number of those who respond who are sympathetic to the original poster's concerns and think that the sister is wrong, but even they don't think there is much the original poster can do about it.

The last thread at which I'll look today is titled, "Friends reacting weirdly to divorce" and posted in the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)" forum. When I sometimes use the phrase, "DCUM as therapy", this is the type of thread to which I am referring. The original poster is recently divorced and her ex-husband has moved away. Since the divorce, the original poster's friends have started treating her differently. One spends a lot of time discussing her own problems, apparently seeking sympathy from the original poster, and gets angry when the original poster doesn't provide validation. Another has become very protective of her husband which may or may not be related to the fact that the original poster has known the husband longer than her friend has. The original poster writes very dense paragraphs in prose that is difficult to follow and many of the initial replies commment on the original poster's writing style. This prompted the original poster to repost her original post with paragraph breaks. The original poster clearly makes a concerted effort to post shorter and more succint posts. However, the original poster posts with impressive frequency, not always identifying herself, so the thread itself gets hard to follow. I have to agree with one poster whose exasperated response was, "Man this thread is exhausting" — and that was only on the second page. One poster did respond with a sympathetic post, but it was so long that it made the original poster look like a paragon of brevity. I honestly didn't have it in me to read it. Posters suggested that the original poster set boundaries with her friends or distance herself from them. Another poster who had similar experiences with friends after a divorce said that this was a storm that the original poster would simply have to ride out. That caused me to start thinking about "The Doors" and lose my train of thought. A couple of posters talked about the fear of "divorce contagion" that her friends might feel. This is a concept of which I was previously unaware, but is apparently a real thing. From now on I will be sure to wear a mask around any of my divorced friends.