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I know that this is primarily a DC board, but also that there are a few nannies from other areas - including Boston. One of my nanny friends and I were talking about organizing a nanny social group. We're thinking weekend brunch once or twice per month, because it would work with most nanny schedules AND brunch is generally delicious. We're open to other ideas as well, depending on interests and availability of interested nannies. If you're interested in joining us, please send me a PM, leave a message here, or email me at: nisfornanny@gmail.com
Thanks!
Thanks!
I would happily accept this offer. However, like a previous poster, I also live below my means. If I was living paycheck to paycheck, I might not be afford to be able to do so - regardless of whether or not I wanted to do so. I think it's a great offer, OP, and definitely one worth making if it works for your family. If you suspect that nanny might be worried about the income loss, you could offer to be a reference, if she wants to apply to some evening/weekend jobs. Perhaps worded along the lines of, "If you are interested in accepting our offer, but prefer more hours, we would be happy to provide an excellent reference for you to families you find seeking a date night sitter."
I don't think that your PTO package is unreasonable, but there are a few things you should consider. When I look at offers, I look at the total package - PTO is just one element. I have accepted jobs with lower wages and lots of PTO, just as I have accepted jobs with little PTO and a higher pay rate. One thing that I would not accept (and thus negotiate for and discuss mutually-agreeable solutions, if necessary) is not to be paid when the family is away. Are you guaranteeing hours for your vacations beyond the four days you select? How does your pay rate compare to similar positions? Would your nanny be allowed to take additional leave, unpaid? Do you consider Columbus Day and Veterans' Day to be federal holidays? While they are, many employers do not offer them as such, so if you are offering them I would specify that to increase the attraction of your PTO package. Good luck!
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I used to get paid $15/hour in high school and that was 7 years ago in Indiana
Looks like the "$15/hr market rate nanny" is a grand myth well promoted by a couple of individuals on this board. From what I hear out in the real world, it's closer to $20-30/hr. for professional nannies in the Washington area.
$30/hour? LMAOOOO. Now that's a delusional myth that is VERY rare. If this was the case then most people would skip college and go strait into nannying.
My guess is that the $30/hr nannies all went to college. Everyone I know who makes $22/hr or more has at least a B.A./B.S. (Please note that I live in Boston, which is a slightly different market than DC. I'd imagine that a $30/hr nanny is rare in any location and likely has some special skills and/or education.)
I absolutely agree with 22:21 - and she's much more concise than I was!
OP, It sounds like your first nanny ceased to be a good fit for your family's needs when your family's needs changed. I agree it would have been great if she'd instead emailed you asking for a way to make a notice period work work for both of you. From your description of the situation, if sounds like resigning was an appropriate decision.
I've worked with a couple of WAHP, some of which have been VERY pleasant and professional work settings. I think it's great that you have the ability to be hands-on with your child while maintaining your work obligations. In order to encourage a healthy relationship with your next nanny and between your nanny and child, I'd like to suggest the following:
1.) Set up a workspace for yourself that is separate from where your nanny and child typically spend their time. They should be able to go to the playroom, kitchen, bathroom (potty training isn't that far off!), and child's bedroom without your child seeing you. You should have a door, which remains closed while you are working - a visual cue that you are not available. Some parents whom I've worked for have used a white noise machine in their office to block out sound, as I know a toddler can be as distracting to a parent as the parent to the toddler.
2.) In the mornings, say goodbye to your child, tell her that you love her and when you will see her next. Help your child become more confident and secure in her attachment to you by learning that you are reliable and consistent - especially when you are not present. A good nanny will reinforce this while you are working.
3.) Make sure that your child has engaging activities while you are working. You will think about each other a lot less if you are both doing productive things. Playing and developing relationships with non-family members are important skills for your daughter to develop and are developmentally appropriate. Depending on what's available in your area, I would consider relaxing your standard about time out of the house to make leaving the house part of your child's daily routine. I am considering things like "taking child on a walk to look for red things" an outing; not every outing needs to be an event.
4.) Develop a consistent routine for your child/nanny/self, even if the durations of each activity vary day-by-day. When I worked for WAHP, this was key. The kids generally knew that their parent was home, but knew exactly what to expect and when to expect it. Because they understood their routine, they were comfortable with it. Figure out what parts of your child's day are most important to be involved in and coordinate those with your nanny. (e.g., Do you want to nurse your child when she wakes up from her nap? Do you want to say good night before nap or put her to bed? Join for lunch? Have Mother-Daughter lunches on Tuesdays?)
5.) During your time with your daughter, try to be very positive about your nanny and her time with your daughter. Prime your daughter for this to be positive and your nanny to feel supported.
6.) Don't pop in on whims or if your daughter is fussing. I'm sorry, I realize that this is your daughter, but as a nanny, I personally find this incredibly frustrating and undermining. Your daughter is a toddler and is going to vocally express frustration and upset. Some of these times it might be entirely appropriate for you to soothe her. Many of these times it is not. PP gave the example of perhaps she is fussing because she isn't allowed to dump out a box of cereal - or maybe in a few months she did dump a box of cereal and nanny is expecting her to help clean the mess. In these instances, your intervention would likely be distracting and detrimental. Hire a nanny whom you trust to know when to call you and be specific about when you want to be called. If you want to be available to your daughter when she falls down, tell Nanny that and work out a system so she contacts you in those instances. Respond to NANNY'S calls, not CHILD'S. I recognize that that is very easy for me to type and that I do not understand how hard it would be to implement, but I believe this trust is probably the most important component in a successful WAHP/Child/Nanny relationship.
7.) During the day, consider communicating with your nanny via text messaging. I know it seems kind of lame, but it's a fairly non-invasive way for you to get updates and it sounds like you need/want updates. Definitely ask a potential nanny about this prior to hire (and potentially offer to cover a texting plan, if she would incur additional charges) but I've used this as a way to communicate with a WAHP while we're in different rooms of the house - it was less disruptive to her child and in gave me autonomy in that child's eyes. I didn't always love sending/receiving a ton of texts as part of my work day, but recognized that sometimes WAHP needed to know why her child was screaming in order to be able to focus on her work (it was almost always because I wouldn't give him the chop block of knives) and to coordinate with her on the days that she joined us for lunch. Even if she texted me thirty seconds before coming down for lunch, it allowed me to tell the child that Mommy was going to have lunch with us - versus her magically appearing.
8.) When interviewing, be very clear with candidates that you are a WAHP and involved in your child's life, including during the nanny's workday. While this may eliminate some candidates, it will only eliminate the ones who would not be a good fit for your needs. Discuss at length their ideas to make this healthy and productive for everyone.
Good luck OP!
I've worked with a couple of WAHP, some of which have been VERY pleasant and professional work settings. I think it's great that you have the ability to be hands-on with your child while maintaining your work obligations. In order to encourage a healthy relationship with your next nanny and between your nanny and child, I'd like to suggest the following:
1.) Set up a workspace for yourself that is separate from where your nanny and child typically spend their time. They should be able to go to the playroom, kitchen, bathroom (potty training isn't that far off!), and child's bedroom without your child seeing you. You should have a door, which remains closed while you are working - a visual cue that you are not available. Some parents whom I've worked for have used a white noise machine in their office to block out sound, as I know a toddler can be as distracting to a parent as the parent to the toddler.
2.) In the mornings, say goodbye to your child, tell her that you love her and when you will see her next. Help your child become more confident and secure in her attachment to you by learning that you are reliable and consistent - especially when you are not present. A good nanny will reinforce this while you are working.
3.) Make sure that your child has engaging activities while you are working. You will think about each other a lot less if you are both doing productive things. Playing and developing relationships with non-family members are important skills for your daughter to develop and are developmentally appropriate. Depending on what's available in your area, I would consider relaxing your standard about time out of the house to make leaving the house part of your child's daily routine. I am considering things like "taking child on a walk to look for red things" an outing; not every outing needs to be an event.
4.) Develop a consistent routine for your child/nanny/self, even if the durations of each activity vary day-by-day. When I worked for WAHP, this was key. The kids generally knew that their parent was home, but knew exactly what to expect and when to expect it. Because they understood their routine, they were comfortable with it. Figure out what parts of your child's day are most important to be involved in and coordinate those with your nanny. (e.g., Do you want to nurse your child when she wakes up from her nap? Do you want to say good night before nap or put her to bed? Join for lunch? Have Mother-Daughter lunches on Tuesdays?)
5.) During your time with your daughter, try to be very positive about your nanny and her time with your daughter. Prime your daughter for this to be positive and your nanny to feel supported.
6.) Don't pop in on whims or if your daughter is fussing. I'm sorry, I realize that this is your daughter, but as a nanny, I personally find this incredibly frustrating and undermining. Your daughter is a toddler and is going to vocally express frustration and upset. Some of these times it might be entirely appropriate for you to soothe her. Many of these times it is not. PP gave the example of perhaps she is fussing because she isn't allowed to dump out a box of cereal - or maybe in a few months she did dump a box of cereal and nanny is expecting her to help clean the mess. In these instances, your intervention would likely be distracting and detrimental. Hire a nanny whom you trust to know when to call you and be specific about when you want to be called. If you want to be available to your daughter when she falls down, tell Nanny that and work out a system so she contacts you in those instances. Respond to NANNY'S calls, not CHILD'S. I recognize that that is very easy for me to type and that I do not understand how hard it would be to implement, but I believe this trust is probably the most important component in a successful WAHP/Child/Nanny relationship.
7.) During the day, consider communicating with your nanny via text messaging. I know it seems kind of lame, but it's a fairly non-invasive way for you to get updates and it sounds like you need/want updates. Definitely ask a potential nanny about this prior to hire (and potentially offer to cover a texting plan, if she would incur additional charges) but I've used this as a way to communicate with a WAHP while we're in different rooms of the house - it was less disruptive to her child and in gave me autonomy in that child's eyes. I didn't always love sending/receiving a ton of texts as part of my work day, but recognized that sometimes WAHP needed to know why her child was screaming in order to be able to focus on her work (it was almost always because I wouldn't give him the chop block of knives) and to coordinate with her on the days that she joined us for lunch. Even if she texted me thirty seconds before coming down for lunch, it allowed me to tell the child that Mommy was going to have lunch with us - versus her magically appearing.
8.) When interviewing, be very clear with candidates that you are a WAHP and involved in your child's life, including during the nanny's workday. While this may eliminate some candidates, it will only eliminate the ones who would not be a good fit for your needs. Discuss at length their ideas to make this healthy and productive for everyone.
Good luck OP!
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't mean to be critical, but I see many ads like yours all the time. How can you be 23 and already have eight yrs of nanny experience? Did you start working as a professional nanny at fifteen??
Also, if you watch children in your home, be prepared to take a pay cut since you won't have any commuting costs and the parents will.
I didn't say I had 8 years of nanny experience, I have 8 years of experience working with kids I started helping my moms trend in a home daycare.
OP, I agree with above posters that your age combined with your years of experience can be a red flag for many parents, who are likely to pass over you without asking for clarification about your experience. Particularly relevant to your job search (and rare for nannies of your age) is full-time, full-charge experience. I would rewrite it to something like, "I have x years experience as a FT nanny and have been babysitting for y years. While I was growing up, my mother ran an in-home daycare, where I worked as her afterschool assistant starting when I was z years old." Something like that would give clarity and depth to your experience, which most parents really appreciate.
To your original question, I would not lower your rate for being unable to drive. If you are willing to walk or take public transit, it may not even be relevant to the family - so why suggest a paycut? Families who really need a driver (e.g., for school pick-ups, location of home) are unlikely to interview non-driving nannies, making your rate a non issue for them. Good luck with your search!
Has the nanny worked any hours for your friend since the incident that created cause? If so, I think it would be hard to make a case that the firing is for cause and her severance/notice is forfeit or should be reduced from the four weeks in their contract.
Another issue to consider is the nanny's potential to collect unemployment. I'm a nanny, not a lawyer (kids are at camp) but my understanding is that being fired for cause (and forfeiting all severance would signify this) would put the nanny in an even higher and drier situation, which is sounds like your friend wants to avoid. If your friend is opposed to her soon-to-be former nanny receiving unemployment, I would not call the two weeks' pay severance.
Another issue to consider is the nanny's potential to collect unemployment. I'm a nanny, not a lawyer (kids are at camp) but my understanding is that being fired for cause (and forfeiting all severance would signify this) would put the nanny in an even higher and drier situation, which is sounds like your friend wants to avoid. If your friend is opposed to her soon-to-be former nanny receiving unemployment, I would not call the two weeks' pay severance.
My policy is that I will take public transit until 11pm. If the parents return (or plan to return) after that time, I ask them to either provide parking (at their expense), drive me home, or provide me with cabfare home. If the family did not live near public transit and did not have parking available, I would either adjust my rate to cover parking or decline the job.
OP, I would check-in with the family and ask them how other sitters commute to their home.
OP, I would check-in with the family and ask them how other sitters commute to their home.
OP, I think you're being very considerate of your nanny and offered her a position that is more than fair. If the money if not much of a concern for you - it doesn't sound like it is - I would counter with an offer of $50/week worth of work and see how she responds. That's 2-3 hours, depending on how you handle overtime. Perhaps a date night or household support tasks once per week? She was working more hours under the share, so should have the availability. I also wonder if the language barrier is part of the issue in how she (poorly) expressed herself. If she is gracious and agreeable to your offer of additional hours, perhaps it was an unintentional ultimatum. If she isn't interested in working with you, I would pick a mutually agreeable end date. If she's unhappy and antagonistic towards your new agreement, it's unlikely she'll be the same nanny she was in your share. It might be better for your son to keep positive memories of her and their relationship, as well as have a positive relationship with his next caregiver, than to enter into a nanny-family relationship that shows signs of deteriorating. You should like an excellent employer and you could likely find another nanny who would be a good fit for you family.
I did this. I used my network of nanny friends and former nanny employers, so I was a known quantity with known references. Even though those references were a couple of years old, my current employer knew two of them very well, so they had more credibility for her than a stranger who was currently employing me would have offered. (I also already knew my current employer peripherally, from when I worked for past employers.)
My current employers did not ask if my then-employers knew that I was planning to resign, but I alluded to the fact that they did not and they figured it out right away. During our first conversation, I briefly explained why I wanted to make a change in employment and how much notice I would ideally like to offer my then-employers, as well as how much notice I was required to give them. When I mentioned "giving notice" it served to inform the interviewing parents that notice had not yet been given.
OP, I've been in my current job for a year now and it is wonderful. Good luck! Definitely network.
My current employers did not ask if my then-employers knew that I was planning to resign, but I alluded to the fact that they did not and they figured it out right away. During our first conversation, I briefly explained why I wanted to make a change in employment and how much notice I would ideally like to offer my then-employers, as well as how much notice I was required to give them. When I mentioned "giving notice" it served to inform the interviewing parents that notice had not yet been given.
OP, I've been in my current job for a year now and it is wonderful. Good luck! Definitely network.
I live and work in MA and have an individual health insurance plan through BCBS. They did not ask me any questions about my income when I took out the policy. My current employers pay for my insurance, but I paid for it when previous ones did not offer that benefit. I had my policy on autopay from my bank account and when I switched jobs, we filled out paperwork for it to autopay from their account. A different previous employer (I've had this policy for several years) paid for a portion of my monthly premium, which they did via a separate, labeled check - I would do it that way if I had concerns about my employer not paying the premium on time.
If you are not seeking insurance with an income restriction, I don't see why you should have to disclose your income. I would call a couple of different companies to get information about policies and quotes. If asked, I would say that you're a nanny. Lying on an insurance policy is a bad idea and the information should be confidential - i.e., not directly piped to the IRS.
If you are not seeking insurance with an income restriction, I don't see why you should have to disclose your income. I would call a couple of different companies to get information about policies and quotes. If asked, I would say that you're a nanny. Lying on an insurance policy is a bad idea and the information should be confidential - i.e., not directly piped to the IRS.
My nanny family summers on Nantucket, so I'm there as well for the summer. I'd love to find a couple of nannies to hang out with in the evenings/weekends. I'm planning to go home a couple of times, but will have plenty of off hours on island. Are any other nannies also on Nantucket and interested in meeting up?
I don't live in DC, but in the cities that I have nannied in, I've found that the summer nanny market tends to be pretty saturated. Yes, there are more jobs (for school-aged kids) but there also are a lot more people seeking to fill them. Rates tend to be all over the place, as a family just looking for someone to drive their kids around and remind them to eat generally are willing to pay significantly less than a family looking for someone to supplement academic work and plan/run activities - and reasonably so! Since you do have specialized experience, I would contact a couple of agencies. If you are willing to travel to a family for the summer (e.g., Any interest in a live-in summer nanny job on Martha's Vineyard or the Hamptons?) I would contact agencies in NYC/Boston/etc.
I agree with PP that nanny contracts are more work agreements than anything and not the most enforceable documents. I've never had anything notarized or our signatures witnessed by anything other than the parties involved. I think that work agreements primarily serve as a record of understanding, between employer and employee. It also can serve as a record of employment or be useful in the event of a labor dispute (e.g., Was nanny fired for cause? Does nanny have a valid cause to file for unemployment/back OT?) I think that as long as both parties are clear and committed to the agreement, it can serve as a reference and source of protection. I have had one instance where it really protected me and strongly prefer to have a written agreement. If nothing else, it's a good record of employment.
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