Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here I think this post has taken a different tune. I am not upset about how I am much I am paying her to work. I am upset about how she handled the situation. If she had come to me and said, " I really need a little but more money to pay me bills. Can we please work something out? " I would not even blink and eye. I would have paid her because I do think she is doing a good job and it is not a lot of money in the long run.
I am just taken back by her ultimatium. I am planning on talking to her about it directly. But, I was just wondering how others would handle it. I would like her to be happy, but at the same time I don't want to be a push over.

MB here who leads a large team of people at her job. I am yet to see a perfect employee. I mean a person who is always happy and enthusiasitic, never late on anything, always two steps ahead of me, etc. And I can sincerely say that the folks on my team are great. They are humans however. Once in a while almost everyone might have an attitude. A person could be stressed out, tired, had a bad day, whatever... Personally, I would think twice before letting go of someone who is doing a great job and has shown an attitude once. Great people are hard to find. Perhaps, it makes sense to talk to her and see if the situation can still be worked out?

Op here I think this post has taken a different tune. I am not upset about how I am much I am paying her to work. I am upset about how she handled the situation. If she had come to me and said, " I really need a little but more money to pay me bills. Can we please work something out? " I would not even blink and eye. I would have paid her because I do think she is doing a good job and it is not a lot of money in the long run.
I am just taken back by her ultimatium. I am planning on talking to her about it directly. But, I was just wondering how others would handle it. I would like her to be happy, but at the same time I don't want to be a push over.

Anonymous wrote:Op here I think this post has taken a different tune. I am not upset about how I am much I am paying her to work. I am upset about how she handled the situation. If she had come to me and said, " I really need a little but more money to pay me bills. Can we please work something out? " I would not even blink and eye. I would have paid her because I do think she is doing a good job and it is not a lot of money in the long run.
I am just taken back by her ultimatium. I am planning on talking to her about it directly. But, I was just wondering how others would handle it. I would like her to be happy, but at the same time I don't want to be a push over.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here I think this post has taken a different tune. I am not upset about how I am much I am paying her to work. I am upset about how she handled the situation. If she had come to me and said, " I really need a little but more money to pay me bills. Can we please work something out? " I would not even blink and eye. I would have paid her because I do think she is doing a good job and it is not a lot of money in the long run.
I am just taken back by her ultimatium. I am planning on talking to her about it directly. But, I was just wondering how others would handle it. I would like her to be happy, but at the same time I don't want to be a push over.

If her language skills are bad- perhaps it is part of her problem communicating in a mature, professional way?

I don't do well with ultimatums, personally.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here I think this post has taken a different tune. I am not upset about how I am much I am paying her to work. I am upset about how she handled the situation. If she had come to me and said, " I really need a little but more money to pay me bills. Can we please work something out? " I would not even blink and eye. I would have paid her because I do think she is doing a good job and it is not a lot of money in the long run.
I am just taken back by her ultimatium. I am planning on talking to her about it directly. But, I was just wondering how others would handle it. I would like her to be happy, but at the same time I don't want to be a push over.

MB here who leads a large team of people at her job. I am yet to see a perfect employee. I mean a person who is always happy and enthusiasitic, never late on anything, always two steps ahead of me, etc. And I can sincerely say that the folks on my team are great. They are humans however. Once in a while almost everyone might have an attitude. A person could be stressed out, tired, had a bad day, whatever... Personally, I would think twice before letting go of someone who is doing a great job and has shown an attitude once. Great people are hard to find. Perhaps, it makes sense to talk to her and see if the situation can still be worked out?

But the nanny isn't great!
Let's look at the nanny's "Great" qualities:
*poor attitude
*can't do basic math (difference between 40 and 50 hours)
*won't admit when she's confused about a new situation (50 vs 40 hours, again)
*doesn't drive
*doesn't speak English well.

....this is a no brainer OP. Drop her. You can find a better nanny, who your child will love, easily.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would look for a new nanny, OP. It's not the fact that she wants more money it's the way she is handling it. If she had said, "I thought about it and unfortunately I don't think I can accept such a big pay cut but I'd like to keep working for you. What can we work out?" Then maybe I'd consider it but getting angry and giving you an ultimatum is a very immature way to handle it and says more about the nanny.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here I think this post has taken a different tune. I am not upset about how I am much I am paying her to work. I am upset about how she handled the situation. If she had come to me and said, " I really need a little but more money to pay me bills. Can we please work something out? " I would not even blink and eye. I would have paid her because I do think she is doing a good job and it is not a lot of money in the long run.
I am just taken back by her ultimatium. I am planning on talking to her about it directly. But, I was just wondering how others would handle it. I would like her to be happy, but at the same time I don't want to be a push over.

If her language skills are bad- perhaps it is part of her problem communicating in a mature, professional way?

I don't do well with ultimatums, personally.

Agree with the first sentence. I mean it is quite possible she came across as giving an ultimatum because of her English skills but she really was not

Anonymous wrote:As your child gets older, you are more likely to need someone who drives and speaks English. For that pay, you can afford someone with both of these skills. Why drag out with someone who doesn't fit your (most likely)future needs, who is resentful of your pay, who may nickle and dime you whenever possible, who seems immature, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We did pay her a lower rate in our share due to the language barrier and that she cannot drive.

OP you are overpaying BIGTIME for a nanny that doesn't drive and can't speak english. Nannies with these deficiencies can barely find jobs offering $10-$12. $17 is unheard of for a nanny who lacks basic communication and driving skills.

PP - I do not think you are correct. I pay our nanny $17 for one kid. She does not speak English at all and does not drive. My child is growing speaking two languages. I can communicate with the nanny because I speak her language as well. This nanny takes care of my DS really well and he loves her. She also goes above her agreed upon duties and cleans our house during nap times. She is never hesitant to help us out. I remember a post on here with a nanny complaining about being asked to clean out a car she is driving her charges in. Our nanny saw how messy my car once and offered to clean it for me. Why would not I pay $17 per hour?

NisforNanny wrote:OP, I think you're being very considerate of your nanny and offered her a position that is more than fair. If the money if not much of a concern for you - it doesn't sound like it is - I would counter with an offer of $50/week worth of work and see how she responds. That's 2-3 hours, depending on how you handle overtime. Perhaps a date night or household support tasks once per week? She was working more hours under the share, so should have the availability. I also wonder if the language barrier is part of the issue in how she (poorly) expressed herself. If she is gracious and agreeable to your offer of additional hours, perhaps it was an unintentional ultimatum. If she isn't interested in working with you, I would pick a mutually agreeable end date. If she's unhappy and antagonistic towards your new agreement, it's unlikely she'll be the same nanny she was in your share. It might be better for your son to keep positive memories of her and their relationship, as well as have a positive relationship with his next caregiver, than to enter into a nanny-family relationship that shows signs of deteriorating. You should like an excellent employer and you could likely find another nanny who would be a good fit for you family.