Should I look for a new nanny?

[Anonymous]

Here is the story, we were in a nannyshare with another family. The other family needed the nanny for 50 hours a week. We are in the process of ending the share, due to the other family no longer needed her services. We made the decision to keep the nanny on our own because we do like her and more important our child adores her. We only need her to work 40 hours a week. I told her that we would love to keep her the same hourly rate ($17.5) but as she knows we only need her 40hrs. I tried my best to explain to her that her weekly pay would decrease, but she would still get a full time job. She was very happy and thankful at the time.

When I presented her with a contract with our new weekly net pay, she told me she was very upset. And, she gave me an ultimatium: I either pay her $50 more dollars a week or find someone else to share with that needs more hours. She is giving me two months to figure it out or she walks.

I have mixed emotions. I am mainly in shock because I don't feel that we are in anyway cheating her. While I really love and value her, I am starting to think that there are other nannys out there that would be happy to work for my family.

What would you do in my shoes?

[Anonymous]

I'd give her the $10/day. It doesn't seem that much, but I don't know your finances.

[Anonymous]

I'd get someone new, because she's stupid. She was too stupid to multiply her hourly rate you were offering by the number of hours of work you needed and look at the answer and not realize she'd wind up earning less money because it's fewer hours.

[Anonymous]

OP cares about her child and the established relationship with the nanny. Sometimes that's really the most important thing.

OP, few nannies can afford a pay reduction without somehow making it up. I suspect she's worried about making ends meet.

[Anonymous]

Assuming you only have one child, $17.50 is already an above-market rate for DC. For $18.75 an hour, which is effectively what she has demanded, she better be exceptional--meaning lots of experience, college degree in a child-related field, and the kind of person who always goes above and beyond typical nanny duties. The fact that she seems to have had trouble grasping that her weekly pay would decrease along with her hours and workload, and the fact that she got angry instead of addressing the matter rationally, suggests to me that she has some sort of language barrier and/or an unprofessional attitude, and probably isn't worth the rate she is now seeking. Also, $17.50 an hour would be low for a share in DC, so I'm guessing she doesn't have much experience either.

I'd start looking for a replacement, and if you find someone you like, have her do some weekend babysitting so your child can get to know her. If it looks like a good fit, replace the current nanny. She sounds like the kind of person who will be perpetually threatening to leave if you don't keep paying her more and more.

[Anonymous]

Was 17.50 her old average hourly rate or old average base rate? Just wondering if that's where any confusion could have come in. (You tell her 40 hours at same rate assuming base rate and she assumes average rate.)

[Anonymous]

I think its probably time to both go your separate ways. I know you're upset, but can you really fault her telling you that she can't do the cut in pay? 2 months is a good amount of notice. You can find someone cheaper if that is what is important to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assuming you only have one child, $17.50 is already an above-market rate for DC. For $18.75 an hour, which is effectively what she has demanded, she better be exceptional--meaning lots of experience, college degree in a child-related field, and the kind of person who always goes above and beyond typical nanny duties. The fact that she seems to have had trouble grasping that her weekly pay would decrease along with her hours and workload, and the fact that she got angry instead of addressing the matter rationally, suggests to me that she has some sort of language barrier and/or an unprofessional attitude, and probably isn't worth the rate she is now seeking. Also, $17.50 an hour would be low for a share in DC, so I'm guessing she doesn't have much experience either.

I'd start looking for a replacement, and if you find someone you like, have her do some weekend babysitting so your child can get to know her. If it looks like a good fit, replace the current nanny. She sounds like the kind of person who will be perpetually threatening to leave if you don't keep paying her more and more.

You are correct! We did pay her a lower rate in our share due to the language barrier and that she cannot drive. The driving has been somewhat of an issue due to preschool. And, we have had to make some compromises in our own schedules to bring the children back and forth to preschool due to weather or other activities. Taking that into consideration, we pay her a lower rate.

[Anonymous]

I would look for a new nanny, OP. It's not the fact that she wants more money it's the way she is handling it. If she had said, "I thought about it and unfortunately I don't think I can accept such a big pay cut but I'd like to keep working for you. What can we work out?" Then maybe I'd consider it but getting angry and giving you an ultimatum is a very immature way to handle it and says more about the nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would look for a new nanny, OP. It's not the fact that she wants more money it's the way she is handling it. If she had said, "I thought about it and unfortunately I don't think I can accept such a big pay cut but I'd like to keep working for you. What can we work out?" Then maybe I'd consider it but getting angry and giving you an ultimatum is a very immature way to handle it and says more about the nanny.

+1

[Anonymous]

Let her walk.

[Anonymous]

I'd get someone new, because she's stupid. She was too stupid to multiply her hourly rate you were offering by the number of hours of work you needed and look at the answer and not realize she'd wind up earning less money because it's fewer hours.

+100 The nanny is either stupid or manipulative. A professional nanny or even just a good nanny would have addressed upfront whether she was accepting the offer or not. She wouldn't have not realized that 40 hours is less than 50. She wouldn't have accepted and waited to say something until the first check.

OP- its really easy to think your nanny is wonderful when in reality she just isn't anything above mediocre. Kids will love a bad nanny as much as a good nanny. Its rare that someone has a nanny so horrible that she is mean to the kids and they don't like her. You just can't take the "my kids adore her" as any indicator of whether she is good or not.

[Anonymous]

We did pay her a lower rate in our share due to the language barrier and that she cannot drive.

OP you are overpaying BIGTIME for a nanny that doesn't drive and can't speak english. Nannies with these deficiencies can barely find jobs offering $10-$12. $17 is unheard of for a nanny who lacks basic communication and driving skills.

[Anonymous]

OP you said your family likes your nanny and your child adores her. Stability is important for children. It doesn't matter if she's making above the "market rate" according to the DCUM MB police. She's asking for an additional $50 a week, which isn't a ton of money. Could you give her a few extra tasks or request she help out with meals, laundry, etc? I don't know what the current expectations you have with your nanny but the answer shouldn't always be to let her go and find someone else. Why don't you sit down with her and go over the hours, the pay, the expectations and see if you can come up with a solution instead of parting ways. I wish you luck and hope you don't just fire her because people on an anonymous forum told you that you could be paying less money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

We did pay her a lower rate in our share due to the language barrier and that she cannot drive.

OP you are overpaying BIGTIME for a nanny that doesn't drive and can't speak english. Nannies with these deficiencies can barely find jobs offering $10-$12. $17 is unheard of for a nanny who lacks basic communication and driving skills.

PP - I do not think you are correct. I pay our nanny $17 for one kid. She does not speak English at all and does not drive. My child is growing speaking two languages. I can communicate with the nanny because I speak her language as well. This nanny takes care of my DS really well and he loves her. She also goes above her agreed upon duties and cleans our house during nap times. She is never hesitant to help us out. I remember a post on here with a nanny complaining about being asked to clean out a car she is driving her charges in. Our nanny saw how messy my car once and offered to clean it for me. Why would not I pay $17 per hour?