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OP, I suggest you start your nanny search phone interviews by making it crystal clear that the nanny you hire will be expected to come to work regardless of her health or any family crisis. Eventually someone will accept your draconian stipulations, and you'll be happy.

Then eventually your nanny comes to work ill with something like rotavirus, and infects your child, you, and your DH. Then you'll be back here posting about how you hired a nanny without any common sense, and asking if you can sue her for making you all sick.
You're getting 2 extra weeks of paid vacation, and you are unwilling to drive 72 miles round trip and get their dogs from the boarders? Really?

And I don't quite understand how that would take up "a good portion" of your day. Where do you live/work that driving 72 miles, picking up/dropping off dogs takes more than 3 - 4 hours, max?

I guess I think a little give and take makes for a good work relationship. It's not like they told you they needed you to dog sit for 2+ weeks, right?
So nanny isn't doing her job, AKA taking excellent care of your son.

Talk first, with a warning that consistent improvement needs to be seen, and then let her go if she doesn't start doing the job she was hired to do.

That means you'll fire her "for cause", in case that makes a difference with collection of unemployment

Honestly OP, if you have already been willing to advance her money, she may see you as an easy mark, who can be pushed to accept poor job performance because you feel sorry for her.

Your son is your priority, not the care and feeding of a nanny you've employed for 4 months.
Tell her now. If you know you are switching to daycare, and you don't tell her, you are minimizing the time she has to find a new job.

If you fear she'll find something and leave before you want her to, add a week of severance in exchange for staying through the first week of December.
OP, have you talked with your nanny at all about car seat safety, current recommendations, and so forth? If you have talked with her at length or repeatedly, and you actually SEE that she turned your child's seat FF, then by all means, speak with her firmly, be livid, issue a warning, whatever.

But if you haven't done more than install the seat in her car and say, "Dominic should ride RF.", take the time to educate her (and your MIL!) about why RF is safest.

Then, if she has been told the "Why" for ERF, and she still turns the seat around, a formal warning is appropriate.
Talk to your nanny, and figure out how you can fit into her day with the kids.


Whether you have snuggle time before naps, eat lunch together, whatever, will depend on your restrictions, of course.

Help her help your kids understand that although mommy is home, Nanny is still in charge (assuming that is what you want!), and reinforce that rule every single time.

Most nannies will see this as a small challenge that is well worth it to have a healthy baby arrive, and will want to work with you to make sure things go as smoothly as possible.
What is the job description? And what type of nanny are you looking for?
I think all you could say is, "You've been talking about your finances a bit as you prepare to settle into your new apartment. I know that I would have really benefited from having a financial planner talk to me about money when I was your age. Is that something you would have an interest in doing? If so, I would be happy to give you some people to call, and we could make that a holiday gift for you."

and if she says yes, buy the sessions for her. If she says no, graciously end the discussion and don't bring it up again.
OP, you have several choices:

1) Give nanny X days/weeks to get her papers in order, or she'll be let go. Hire a temp to care for your daughter after school for the X days/weeks.

2) Again, give a deadline, and stick with school aftercare for that time.

3) Give nanny notice, since she cannot fulfill the job requirements. Find a new caregiver.

You can either allow nanny a grace period to get her act together, or you can let her go now. Either way, you'll have to choose between a temp nanny or school aftercare for the moment.

And if you do give notice, be sure to follow what your employment agreement says.
So, to be brutally frank, your MB is, for whatever reasons, enabling and encouraging the crying.

The initial issue was likely based in the absence of mom at bedtime 4 nights straight, as well as the addition of a newborn who the toddler now realizes, is actually here to stay, not a temporary visitor.

I am not sure that trying to have a conversation about this is going to be productive, OP. I might choose instead to wait for mom to open the topic for discussion, and then be ready with suggestions (getting back on a predictable daily schedule where nanny does XYZ and mom does ABC) to help problem solve.
I almost prefer the people offering $5/hour and being upfront about it to the people who offer $20/hour then say, "Oh, oopsy! We actually meant $10/hour!"

At least no one wastes their time with the low wage posts, whereas the bait and switchers are wasting all applicants time.
^^^^Those folks will be the next ones on TV whining about how their "nanny" won't leave and quit working.
Anonymous wrote:This is really easy to tease out. Contact three of the larger au pair (live in) programs and ask for the current costs for 40 hr week au pair. You supply room, board, meals and the monthly or weekly "salary".
That's your bar, your comparable, your alternative.
Don't waste your time on Dcum.


That only works if you wish to hire an AP, which OP does not want to do, from what she has posted.

And BTW, an AP makes federal minimum wage for 45 hours/week, and 40% of her wages are held back to cover room and board. OP will NEVER find a decent nanny willing to work for that amount of money. [(7.25 x 45) - 40% = $195.75]

You could always try to con a good experienced nanny into a 40% room/board deduction, but most nannies would laugh so hard they'd cry. For example, if OP wants 30 hours/week at $15/hour, and does the ridiculous 40% deduction, she'd be offering $270/week.
I've never worked less than 50 hours a week, and currently work 55. Nannies (should) understand that since they need to cover their employer's commute and work hours, they will generally not be working 35 - 40 hours for the typical 2 income household.

That being said, you can take a lot of the terrific suggestions above on how to show appreciation, and put them into action. Acknowledge the long days, let her go a bit early if possible, encourage her to relax during down time if her chores are done and baby is sleeping, and say thanks daily.
Anonymous wrote:We pay$6.50 ph, live in helps 40 hrs. Week with children, household stuff, cooking, cleaning.
Housing costs are included in any "min wage" calc.


You might want to check that with the IRS. Before your servant quits and reports you to the local wage and labor board.
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