Bedrest while having a nanny

[Anonymous]

I know nannies dislike having parents at home while they're working. I have just been sentenced to bedrest. We have a nanny. What can I do to make my being home not horrible for the nanny?

[Anonymous]

Try and stay away from them as much as you can. Agree upon times that the child can come and see you, or when you come out for lunch, etc, so that the child can depend on a routine of when he or she can expect to see you. Try not to micromanage if you notice things the nanny does differently, if it's not something that is too important. Talk to the nanny and ask her the same question - depending on your relationship give her a few days to think about it or do it over email. Ask the nanny if she would be willing to run some errands for you with kid in tow, if you need it.

Mostly I think just be open and talk to her. I personally had an amazing time when my MB was on bedrest for two months - the 3yo twins got so much more of their mother before the baby came and she and I became really good friends. It was a bit weird at the start, but as soon as everyone got used to the new routine, it was even better than being with the kids on my own.

[nannydebsays]

Talk to your nanny, and figure out how you can fit into her day with the kids.


Whether you have snuggle time before naps, eat lunch together, whatever, will depend on your restrictions, of course.

Help her help your kids understand that although mommy is home, Nanny is still in charge (assuming that is what you want!), and reinforce that rule every single time.

Most nannies will see this as a small challenge that is well worth it to have a healthy baby arrive, and will want to work with you to make sure things go as smoothly as possible.

[Anonymous]

While it is easier said than done, try your best to give your nanny complete autonomy and try not to micromanage her.

If you hear your child crying, then let the nanny deal w/the situation at hand. Unless she comes to you and asks for assistance, simply stay out of it.

Also, give your nanny the opportunity to take your child out during the day. This will be a win-win for everyone.

It will allow you much needed peace and quiet to rest up and will allow nanny and child some fun bonding time together plus some change of scenery.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While it is easier said than done, try your best to give your nanny complete autonomy and try not to micromanage her.

If you hear your child crying, then let the nanny deal w/the situation at hand. Unless she comes to you and asks for assistance, simply stay out of it. Also, give your nanny the opportunity to take your child out during the day. This will be a win-win for everyone. It will allow you much needed peace and quiet to rest up and will allow nanny and child some fun bonding time together plus some change of scenery. Good luck.

Huh? I'm grounded. There's no reason my kids have to go from going out every day with the nanny to staying home with me every day. Just because I have to suffer doesn't mean they have to keep me company and suffer also. I'm not supposed to get up except to go to the bathroom or shower, so I CAN'T get up to go running each time my kids cry.

[Anonymous]

I was on bed rest for two weeks while pregnant with #2, and for 3 weeks with #3, all the time with having a nanny. Maybe it is just me, but I took be rest literary. I stayed in my bedroom. Kids were with nanny, downstairs and out and about. I did not listen to monitors. I think kids would visit me 1-2 times per day during nanny's work hours, and that's it. With #2, I was in terrible pain, that I could not take medication for, so honestly I did not want to see my daughter. With #3, we were at a high risk, so again I was so worried that nanny and whether I approved of what she was doing was not really my concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While it is easier said than done, try your best to give your nanny complete autonomy and try not to micromanage her.

If you hear your child crying, then let the nanny deal w/the situation at hand. Unless she comes to you and asks for assistance, simply stay out of it. Also, give your nanny the opportunity to take your child out during the day. This will be a win-win for everyone. It will allow you much needed peace and quiet to rest up and will allow nanny and child some fun bonding time together plus some change of scenery. Good luck.

Huh? I'm grounded. There's no reason my kids have to go from going out every day with the nanny to staying home with me every day. Just because I have to suffer doesn't mean they have to keep me company and suffer also. I'm not supposed to get up except to go to the bathroom or shower, so I CAN'T get up to go running each time my kids cry.

I don't think you comprehend the quoted post...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was on bed rest for two weeks while pregnant with #2, and for 3 weeks with #3, all the time with having a nanny. Maybe it is just me, but I took be rest literary. I stayed in my bedroom. Kids were with nanny, downstairs and out and about. I did not listen to monitors. I think kids would visit me 1-2 times per day during nanny's work hours, and that's it. With #2, I was in terrible pain, that I could not take medication for, so honestly I did not want to see my daughter. With #3, we were at a high risk, so again I was so worried that nanny and whether I approved of what she was doing was not really my concern.

Your response made me smile - not that you were in pain or uncomfortable but your frankness.
In any case, I am a nanny working with a SAHM and it has never been an issue. Well she works from home but I take care of kids same as I would whether mom is there or not. The one difference though is that I am definitely less goofy and fun when parents are nearby. I cannot sing worth a penny but I do belt out some (I'm pretty sure horrible sounding) tunes but my babies enjoy it and that's what's important.

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny who worked for a SAHM for years and it was a wonderful experience. I'm not saying that would be the case in all situations, but don't let other nannies scare you off thinking that every nanny would despise the situation. I formed a wonderful relationship with my MB through our time spent together and we are still great friends!

[Anonymous]

OP, I would just sit down with the nanny and ask her to help you come up with a routine so that LO knows when Mommy time will be happening. Think through how much time you want to see your kid--some moms want to spend as much time with the kid as possible, vs other who want to be basically invisible. Be extra careful over the first few days to support nanny's discipline (if DC comes running to you for an appeal), and be open with the nanny about anything that's not working (and encourage her to be open with you!)

You'll be fine!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While it is easier said than done, try your best to give your nanny complete autonomy and try not to micromanage her.

If you hear your child crying, then let the nanny deal w/the situation at hand. Unless she comes to you and asks for assistance, simply stay out of it. Also, give your nanny the opportunity to take your child out during the day. This will be a win-win for everyone. It will allow you much needed peace and quiet to rest up and will allow nanny and child some fun bonding time together plus some change of scenery. Good luck.

Huh? I'm grounded. There's no reason my kids have to go from going out every day with the nanny to staying home with me every day. Just because I have to suffer doesn't mean they have to keep me company and suffer also. I'm not supposed to get up except to go to the bathroom or shower, so I CAN'T get up to go running each time my kids cry.

No offense OP, but I think you sound a little too uptight.

The advice given here was pretty standard and quite good.

Your response was actually snarky and defensive. Not to mention you sound ignorant. What do you mean you are grounded??

The PP was just suggesting you let the nanny take your child out during the day so you could rest.

What's the beef with that....??!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While it is easier said than done, try your best to give your nanny complete autonomy and try not to micromanage her.

If you hear your child crying, then let the nanny deal w/the situation at hand. Unless she comes to you and asks for assistance, simply stay out of it. Also, give your nanny the opportunity to take your child out during the day. This will be a win-win for everyone. It will allow you much needed peace and quiet to rest up and will allow nanny and child some fun bonding time together plus some change of scenery. Good luck.

Huh? I'm grounded. There's no reason my kids have to go from going out every day with the nanny to staying home with me every day. Just because I have to suffer doesn't mean they have to keep me company and suffer also. I'm not supposed to get up except to go to the bathroom or shower, so I CAN'T get up to go running each time my kids cry.

No offense OP, but I think you sound a little too uptight.

The advice given here was pretty standard and quite good.

Your response was actually snarky and defensive. Not to mention you sound ignorant. What do you mean you are grounded??

The PP was just suggesting you let the nanny take your child out during the day so you could rest.

What's the beef with that....??!

The OP is on BEDREST. Do you know what that means? of COURSE she's not going to be micromanaging and of COURSE she doesn't need the nanny taking the child out so she can red.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While it is easier said than done, try your best to give your nanny complete autonomy and try not to micromanage her.

If you hear your child crying, then let the nanny deal w/the situation at hand. Unless she comes to you and asks for assistance, simply stay out of it. Also, give your nanny the opportunity to take your child out during the day. This will be a win-win for everyone. It will allow you much needed peace and quiet to rest up and will allow nanny and child some fun bonding time together plus some change of scenery. Good luck.

Huh? I'm grounded. There's no reason my kids have to go from going out every day with the nanny to staying home with me every day. Just because I have to suffer doesn't mean they have to keep me company and suffer also. I'm not supposed to get up except to go to the bathroom or shower, so I CAN'T get up to go running each time my kids cry.

No offense OP, but I think you sound a little too uptight.

The advice given here was pretty standard and quite good.

Your response was actually snarky and defensive. Not to mention you sound ignorant. What do you mean you are grounded??

The PP was just suggesting you let the nanny take your child out during the day so you could rest.

What's the beef with that....??!

Um, of course I'm uptight - I have a medical issue that requires me to not work at either my job or taking care of my kids. It seemed like the PP was implying that normally the kids are home all day every day but because I'm now on bedrest I should allow them to be taken out. They go out every single day. That won't change now that I'm home. There was no snark at all. I don't need to rest. I need to stay horizontal.

[Anonymous]

I was on strict bed rest for almost 4 months. I would not have survived without my wonderful nanny. She took care of my toddler, and would bring her into me bedroom to see me a few times a day, but otherwise the two of them continued with their regular lives - outings, etc.

My nanny kindly checked in on me a few times a day and brought me lunch, too. I never micromanaged, and she was not uncomfortable with my presence in the house. I was bedridden, for goodness' sake. What kind of micromanaging would I have been doing?

[Anonymous]

OP, keep an open line of communication and it will be fine.