Au pair wants to see pictures of house. Weird? Normal?

[Anonymous]

I am a high school teacher with one child and I sure as h*ll don't spend 40K (half my salary!) on my AP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course APs compare benefits and perks. If I were choosing between two jobs, I’d absolutely gather as much info as possible about the benefits, and even try to negotiate more benefits. Lol at you HMs who think APs should just be grateful to be in America, wiping your kids’ snotty noses.

I hope no one lets you near their kids you sound like someone who hates children.

Dp...why?

Bc she wants to get the best experience coming to America? Bc you think she should just be grateful coming here to take care of your children for a low wage? Do kids not have snotty noses? Is this suppose to be her career?

I wouldn't call my kids "snotty nosed," no. It's a privilege to be their mother, yes. It's a privilege to take care of then, yes. It's a privilege for them to come to the United States and be with them. Just like I had the privilege of living abroad with a HF during my culture exchange as a student . If you like children, you don't focus on the negative and call them snotty.

You think it’s a privilege, it’s not. It’s an exchange program. You think your kids aren’t snotty. They are. That’s not a negative btw. It’s the truth. You want to live in denial. Go right ahead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have an extraordinaire, very busy work travel schedule (all those extra rooms add up).

Your work and travel schedules as well as your living arrangements are not your AP's problem but your choice.
You cannot count your choices against what your AP cost you. If you decide to buy a $125,000 Porsche and let your AP drive it you can't claim your AP cost $150,000 a year.

Not really true - it’s more expensive to bring an au pair on travel than to hire local care - but the travel is a perk to the au pair, so yes, absolutely can count in tabulation of cost of au pair.

How is the travel a perk? Did the AP get to chose the location? Does she not have to take care of the kids while there? Isn’t she working?

In the past year we have taken our au pair to Hawaii, Italy, Japan, etc. We gave the au pair the chance to stay home or come with. In our interview process, we explained that travel was one of the perks of working with our family . I have to travel a lot for my job. Sometimes it's stressful, but I would never say it's not a perk.

You see it as a perk. In reality, it’s part of the job for that AP. A perk is them coming and not working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a high school teacher with one child and I sure as h*ll don't spend 40K (half my salary!) on my AP!

Then maybe you can’t afford full time live in care, is the point.

My AP costs more like $30k but that’s 10% of my (independent of my husband’s) salary. Full time live in care is expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a high school teacher with one child and I sure as h*ll don't spend 40K (half my salary!) on my AP!

Then maybe you can’t afford full time live in care, is the point.

My AP costs more like $30k but that’s 10% of my (independent of my husband’s) salary. Full time live in care is expensive.

Please stop telling people if they can afford an AP or not! People know their own financial situation. If you are privileged to offer more to AP than the basic perks, good for you ! But please keep in mind that whatever perks you are offering, they are other HFs out there offering more and they are not here telling you that you can’t afford the program !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a high school teacher with one child and I sure as h*ll don't spend 40K (half my salary!) on my AP!

Then maybe you can’t afford full time live in care, is the point.

My AP costs more like $30k but that’s 10% of my (independent of my husband’s) salary. Full time live in care is expensive.

Please stop telling people if they can afford an AP or not! People know their own financial situation. If you are privileged to offer more to AP than the basic perks, good for you ! But please keep in mind that whatever perks you are offering, they are other HFs out there offering more and they are not here telling you that you can’t afford the program !

Yes that’s what the word “maybe” means. I don’t know any poster’s finances but posters who keep bitterly whining about the perks other families offer *maybe* are not actually in a position to pay for full-time live-in care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a high school teacher with one child and I sure as h*ll don't spend 40K (half my salary!) on my AP!

Then maybe you can’t afford full time live in care, is the point.

My AP costs more like $30k but that’s 10% of my (independent of my husband’s) salary. Full time live in care is expensive.

Please stop telling people if they can afford an AP or not! People know their own financial situation. If you are privileged to offer more to AP than the basic perks, good for you ! But please keep in mind that whatever perks you are offering, they are other HFs out there offering more and they are not here telling you that you can’t afford the program !

Yes that’s what the word “maybe” means. I don’t know any poster’s finances but posters who keep bitterly whining about the perks other families offer *maybe* are not actually in a position to pay for full-time live-in care.

« Maybe » the real question is why you feel the need to brag about what your perks are even on unrelated thread? Seems like « maybe «  you have someone to prove!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a high school teacher with one child and I sure as h*ll don't spend 40K (half my salary!) on my AP!

Then maybe you can’t afford full time live in care, is the point.

My AP costs more like $30k but that’s 10% of my (independent of my husband’s) salary. Full time live in care is expensive.

Please stop telling people if they can afford an AP or not! People know their own financial situation. If you are privileged to offer more to AP than the basic perks, good for you ! But please keep in mind that whatever perks you are offering, they are other HFs out there offering more and they are not here telling you that you can’t afford the program !

Yes that’s what the word “maybe” means. I don’t know any poster’s finances but posters who keep bitterly whining about the perks other families offer *maybe* are not actually in a position to pay for full-time live-in care.

« Maybe » the real question is why you feel the need to brag about what your perks are even on unrelated thread? Seems like « maybe «  you have someone to prove!

No the real question is...If you can afford an AP then why are you complaining about others offering perks and the AP wanting pics of your home? Seems like maybe you are defensive.

[Anonymous]

Having an AP come on your business trips to watch your kids is not a perk. Its not fun for them at all. They probably at best get a few hours off to go out without the kids. Its a perk to you to have your kids with you on your work trips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a high school teacher with one child and I sure as h*ll don't spend 40K (half my salary!) on my AP!

Then maybe you can’t afford full time live in care, is the point.

My AP costs more like $30k but that’s 10% of my (independent of my husband’s) salary. Full time live in care is expensive.

Please stop telling people if they can afford an AP or not! People know their own financial situation. If you are privileged to offer more to AP than the basic perks, good for you ! But please keep in mind that whatever perks you are offering, they are other HFs out there offering more and they are not here telling you that you can’t afford the program !

Yes that’s what the word “maybe” means. I don’t know any poster’s finances but posters who keep bitterly whining about the perks other families offer *maybe* are not actually in a position to pay for full-time live-in care.

« Maybe » the real question is why you feel the need to brag about what your perks are even on unrelated thread? Seems like « maybe «  you have someone to prove!

No the real question is...If you can afford an AP then why are you complaining about others offering perks and the AP wanting pics of your home? Seems like maybe you are defensive.

I am PP but I am not the OP. I offer great perks and have zero issues matching, but I don’t feel the need to shame other HFs who can’t do the same and I don’t go around telling people if they can’t afford the program or not. Extra perks are great but it shouldn’t be a disqualifying factor. If you treat your AP like shit she won’t care that she is driving a Porsche or getting more money. That is what matters!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a high school teacher with one child and I sure as h*ll don't spend 40K (half my salary!) on my AP!

Then maybe you can’t afford full time live in care, is the point.

My AP costs more like $30k but that’s 10% of my (independent of my husband’s) salary. Full time live in care is expensive.

Please stop telling people if they can afford an AP or not! People know their own financial situation. If you are privileged to offer more to AP than the basic perks, good for you ! But please keep in mind that whatever perks you are offering, they are other HFs out there offering more and they are not here telling you that you can’t afford the program !

Yes that’s what the word “maybe” means. I don’t know any poster’s finances but posters who keep bitterly whining about the perks other families offer *maybe* are not actually in a position to pay for full-time live-in care.

« Maybe » the real question is why you feel the need to brag about what your perks are even on unrelated thread? Seems like « maybe «  you have someone to prove!

No the real question is...If you can afford an AP then why are you complaining about others offering perks and the AP wanting pics of your home? Seems like maybe you are defensive.

I am PP but I am not the OP. I offer great perks and have zero issues matching, but I don’t feel the need to shame other HFs who can’t do the same and I don’t go around telling people if they can’t afford the program or not. Extra perks are great but it shouldn’t be a disqualifying factor. If you treat your AP like shit she won’t care that she is driving a Porsche or getting more money. That is what matters!

No one is "shaming" over a lack of perks. It's the opposite. Some defensive HMs complain constantly and bitterly about families who advertise their better perks and pay, because they think their families are just so wonderful, warm, and welcoming, that APs should pick them over the families who have better packages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having an AP come on your business trips to watch your kids is not a perk. Its not fun for them at all. They probably at best get a few hours off to go out without the kids. Its a perk to you to have your kids with you on your work trips.

NP - you are nuts. We offer living in a major city and the opportunity to travel all over - very much a perk in the eyes of APs - have been told this by multiple au pairs - and honestly as a BF who traveled with kids as a necessity- you are a pretty entitled and twisted person to comment on parental choices. You are so myopic that you cannot fathom that traveling with kids is a necessity not a perk. Wow. Just wow.

[Anonymous]

I am the High School teacher. The subsequent posts to me make no sense -- I am going on my 4th AP so obviously I CAN afford an AP! But I have no idea how some people spend 30-40K on them. Are you feeding them caviar??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the High School teacher. The subsequent posts to me make no sense -- I am going on my 4th AP so obviously I CAN afford an AP! But I have no idea how some people spend 30-40K on them. Are you feeding them caviar??

If you have a job where you need to travel or take them on vacations you can easily spend 30-40k as you need to provide them with a separate room...similarly if you provide them with a separate car the insurance in a big city will kill you.

[Anonymous]

Do these peopel actually parent their children? WHEN are you a parent? At the birth only, and then hand them over to someone else to raise?? Why did you even have kids??