Au pair wants to see pictures of house. Weird? Normal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the poster who made a statement about insurance being high. It was not a complaint--merely a statement. I was trying (albeit now well) to communicate that this is a "hidden perk". Host families who put the AP on their insurance do pay a higher premium. It' s a hidden cost (one of many) that APs may not be aware of--so when they compare perks--they don't realize that families are investing in different ways.

Now, some families do not put the AP on the insurance (which I don't quite understand), but that is a different issue.

They don’t need AP to drive, so AP doesn’t need insurance.

I am specifically referring to families who do have the au pairs drive as part of their duties.

The new it’s part of your childcare costs, not a perk.

If the au pair drives outside of working ours it is a perk too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With one kid, which is our only comparison point, we spent almost $40k for an au pair last year. This is a lot more than daycare and also more than a typical nanny share. It is a lot less than a nanny, and the care is more flexible (although the only flexibility we needed was working federal holidays, because we do). We can afford $40k, but no, it's not cheap child care, and yes, the increase to our car insurance was over $1k. What some of the privileged (and nasty) on this forum are saying is that government workers, teachers, non-litigators, and small business owners are "not good enough" to host the au pairs that make them feel like to the manor borne with the requisite German governess.

How did you manage to spend 40k on an au pair in one year? Are you including your mortgage in that? That is above everyone else, where even the generous families end up around 26-27k after gym, travel, insurance, etc. what are you burning the extra 13k/year on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With one kid, which is our only comparison point, we spent almost $40k for an au pair last year. This is a lot more than daycare and also more than a typical nanny share. It is a lot less than a nanny, and the care is more flexible (although the only flexibility we needed was working federal holidays, because we do). We can afford $40k, but no, it's not cheap child care, and yes, the increase to our car insurance was over $1k. What some of the privileged (and nasty) on this forum are saying is that government workers, teachers, non-litigators, and small business owners are "not good enough" to host the au pairs that make them feel like to the manor borne with the requisite German governess.

How did you manage to spend 40k on an au pair in one year? Are you including your mortgage in that? That is above everyone else, where even the generous families end up around 26-27k after gym, travel, insurance, etc. what are you burning the extra 13k/year on?

I was wondering the same thing! But it definitely does counter the argument that they are using an AP for cheap child care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With one kid, which is our only comparison point, we spent almost $40k for an au pair last year. This is a lot more than daycare and also more than a typical nanny share. It is a lot less than a nanny, and the care is more flexible (although the only flexibility we needed was working federal holidays, because we do). We can afford $40k, but no, it's not cheap child care, and yes, the increase to our car insurance was over $1k. What some of the privileged (and nasty) on this forum are saying is that government workers, teachers, non-litigators, and small business owners are "not good enough" to host the au pairs that make them feel like to the manor borne with the requisite German governess.

How did you manage to spend 40k on an au pair in one year? Are you including your mortgage in that? That is above everyone else, where even the generous families end up around 26-27k after gym, travel, insurance, etc. what are you burning the extra 13k/year on?

I was wondering the same thing! But it definitely does counter the argument that they are using an AP for cheap child care.

We have an extraordinaire, very busy work travel schedule (all those extra rooms add up).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have an extraordinaire, very busy work travel schedule (all those extra rooms add up).

Your work and travel schedules as well as your living arrangements are not your AP's problem but your choice.
You cannot count your choices against what your AP cost you. If you decide to buy a $125,000 Porsche and let your AP drive it you can't claim your AP cost $150,000 a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have an extraordinaire, very busy work travel schedule (all those extra rooms add up).

Your work and travel schedules as well as your living arrangements are not your AP's problem but your choice.
You cannot count your choices against what your AP cost you. If you decide to buy a $125,000 Porsche and let your AP drive it you can't claim your AP cost $150,000 a year.

Not really true - it’s more expensive to bring an au pair on travel than to hire local care - but the travel is a perk to the au pair, so yes, absolutely can count in tabulation of cost of au pair.

[Anonymous]

Of course APs compare benefits and perks. If I were choosing between two jobs, I’d absolutely gather as much info as possible about the benefits, and even try to negotiate more benefits. Lol at you HMs who think APs should just be grateful to be in America, wiping your kids’ snotty noses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course APs compare benefits and perks. If I were choosing between two jobs, I’d absolutely gather as much info as possible about the benefits, and even try to negotiate more benefits. Lol at you HMs who think APs should just be grateful to be in America, wiping your kids’ snotty noses.

I hope no one lets you near their kids you sound like someone who hates children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have an extraordinaire, very busy work travel schedule (all those extra rooms add up).

Your work and travel schedules as well as your living arrangements are not your AP's problem but your choice.
You cannot count your choices against what your AP cost you. If you decide to buy a $125,000 Porsche and let your AP drive it you can't claim your AP cost $150,000 a year.

Not really true - it’s more expensive to bring an au pair on travel than to hire local care - but the travel is a perk to the au pair, so yes, absolutely can count in tabulation of cost of au pair.

How is the travel a perk? Did the AP get to chose the location? Does she not have to take care of the kids while there? Isn’t she working?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course APs compare benefits and perks. If I were choosing between two jobs, I’d absolutely gather as much info as possible about the benefits, and even try to negotiate more benefits. Lol at you HMs who think APs should just be grateful to be in America, wiping your kids’ snotty noses.

I hope no one lets you near their kids you sound like someone who hates children.

Dp...why?

Bc she wants to get the best experience coming to America? Bc you think she should just be grateful coming here to take care of your children for a low wage? Do kids not have snotty noses? Is this suppose to be her career?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course APs compare benefits and perks. If I were choosing between two jobs, I’d absolutely gather as much info as possible about the benefits, and even try to negotiate more benefits. Lol at you HMs who think APs should just be grateful to be in America, wiping your kids’ snotty noses.

Comparing benefits--fine.

What is not okay is not having the capacity to realize what aspects of their jobs are actually positive--they only see the negative. And materialism often wins.

And yes, it is an amazing opportunity to come to the States, just like it was an amazing opportunity for me to work in Peace Corps. Challenges? Yes. But I chose and dealt

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course APs compare benefits and perks. If I were choosing between two jobs, I’d absolutely gather as much info as possible about the benefits, and even try to negotiate more benefits. Lol at you HMs who think APs should just be grateful to be in America, wiping your kids’ snotty noses.

Comparing benefits--fine.

What is not okay is not having the capacity to realize what aspects of their jobs are actually positive--they only see the negative. And materialism often wins.

And yes, it is an amazing opportunity to come to the States, just like it was an amazing opportunity for me to work in Peace Corps. Challenges? Yes. But I chose and dealt

No, it’s not some amazing opportunity to come to the States and take care of children. This is what HF fail to really understand. If it were some amazing opportunity just to come here then, HF in the suburbs and not as popular areas wouldn’t be complaining about finding an AP. These are young women who are excited to get an opportunity to live in new cities and explore. Taking care of a child is the other aspect. So what you see as positive, a young person isn’t necessarily going to see that. They are looking for the most relaxed experience that can also provide the most benefit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course APs compare benefits and perks. If I were choosing between two jobs, I’d absolutely gather as much info as possible about the benefits, and even try to negotiate more benefits. Lol at you HMs who think APs should just be grateful to be in America, wiping your kids’ snotty noses.

Comparing benefits--fine.

What is not okay is not having the capacity to realize what aspects of their jobs are actually positive--they only see the negative. And materialism often wins.

And yes, it is an amazing opportunity to come to the States, just like it was an amazing opportunity for me to work in Peace Corps. Challenges? Yes. But I chose and dealt

So when you’re shopping for jobs, you have the “capacity to realize” you should take less pay and longer hours because the boss just just so...??? What, exactly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have an extraordinaire, very busy work travel schedule (all those extra rooms add up).

Your work and travel schedules as well as your living arrangements are not your AP's problem but your choice.
You cannot count your choices against what your AP cost you. If you decide to buy a $125,000 Porsche and let your AP drive it you can't claim your AP cost $150,000 a year.

Not really true - it’s more expensive to bring an au pair on travel than to hire local care - but the travel is a perk to the au pair, so yes, absolutely can count in tabulation of cost of au pair.

How is the travel a perk? Did the AP get to chose the location? Does she not have to take care of the kids while there? Isn’t she working?

In the past year we have taken our au pair to Hawaii, Italy, Japan, etc. We gave the au pair the chance to stay home or come with. In our interview process, we explained that travel was one of the perks of working with our family . I have to travel a lot for my job. Sometimes it's stressful, but I would never say it's not a perk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course APs compare benefits and perks. If I were choosing between two jobs, I’d absolutely gather as much info as possible about the benefits, and even try to negotiate more benefits. Lol at you HMs who think APs should just be grateful to be in America, wiping your kids’ snotty noses.

I hope no one lets you near their kids you sound like someone who hates children.

Dp...why?

Bc she wants to get the best experience coming to America? Bc you think she should just be grateful coming here to take care of your children for a low wage? Do kids not have snotty noses? Is this suppose to be her career?

I wouldn't call my kids "snotty nosed," no. It's a privilege to be their mother, yes. It's a privilege to take care of then, yes. It's a privilege for them to come to the United States and be with them. Just like I had the privilege of living abroad with a HF during my culture exchange as a student . If you like children, you don't focus on the negative and call them snotty.