Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote: Our au pair arrives next week and will be taking care of our 4 month old, 3 year old, and 7 year old. During the summer she will have all 3 at home (during the school year the oldest will be in school full-time and the middle part-time). Any tips for helping her with all 3 kids during the summer? I won't expect her to do any kids laundry or cleaning of the kids area (other than helping the kids straighten up after playing). I know taking care of 3 kids is tough and we do need her for the full 45 hours during the work week so I'm trying to make sure she feels supported and that we have reasonable expectations for her.
If you matched well, she will be alright.
I arrived in July to care for four children (1, 8, 10 and 12) and while I had grandpa (who was a blessing!) and grandma (who was disabled after a number of strokes) around, I mostly had all four all day. Grandpa helped with lots of things but mostly not childcare related (he cooked dinner, taught me how to drive an automatic, showed me around and was just there for peace of mind really... he did do a couple of loads of laundry, which was helpful or drove the oldest somewhere when the baby was sleeping and I couldn't). And I really don't think I was a "rockstar AP", I think I was decent and a good match with my family but I don't think I was 'stellar'. However, I was 19 and had much more energy than I have today. Today there is no chance I'd keep up with the workload. Thankfully, I don't have to.
Make sure that expectations you are setting - especially with an infant in the mix - are realistic. And yes, maybe on some days "everybody alive, fed, dry and not bleeding" is realistic, depending on the kids.
I like 05/20/2016 18:48's suggestion of making a routine. But also provide her with ideas of what to do with all three - for mixed ages things like going to the zoo (do you have a double stroller for the baby and the 3 year old?) where the baby can just be pushed around and the older two can look at the animals can be an idea. Do not expect her to do things like taking all three to the pool alone - if you want her to take the oldest or older two swimming, arrange back-up care for the baby.
Also: playdates!
See if you can arrange for your 7 year old to spend an afternoon or two a week with a friend from school. Does he have friends that live close by? Where your AP could walk him?
My 8 year old loved to spend afternoons with the neighbour girls (8 and 6), swim in their pool and have tea parties, which her brothers weren't into.
My 12 and 10 year olds loved to spend time with their best friends from school (brothers) and I could just drop them off with them every once in a while, they'd go right after breakfast (so around 10... right before baby's first nap) and then would be dropped off at home in the afternoon.
Story time at the library? Where the older two can be entertained and AP can just sit at the sideline, taking care of the baby?
Think about what you consider your AP's main responsibility - sticking to the baby's schedule or entertaining the older two. It's quite possible that she will not be fully meeting every child's needs every day.
If you want the baby on a schedule (remember that especially sleeping schedules can change!) arrange all activities around that. Make sure that your oldest understands that AP's main responsibility is to make baby happy if that's what you want.
If your baby is easy (oh my, my best friends has a 3 months old that is amazing... a dream child... happy and content 24/7, can be taken anywhere, doesn't mind sleeping anywhere, barely cries, just watches the world go by, he is amazing) and you want your oldest entertained then arrange fun things for him and make sure she knows it's not a problem if the baby is just 'there' in the stroller. Think about getting a baby carrier if that's something your baby wouldn't mind... hands free with a three year old might be a good idea.
Will you be okay with her not doing anything "fancy" with the kids for a day? Do you mind if the just build a blanket fort in the middle of the living room? Or make up camp in the backyard? Or play board games the whole afternoon? Maybe because the baby is fussy or because after four days of powering through AP needs a more quiet Friday?
Do not expect more or higher quality care from her than you would be able to offer in this situation. If something would not be easy for you to do with all three in tow, do not expect it to be easy for her because she is younger or because she matched with a family with three young children and 'knew' what she was getting into. Reasonable expectations should really do the trick. Do not let her slack it off but be reasonable with what you expect (99.9% she is not Mary Poppins).
(she will have most nights and weekends off)
See if you can make that all nights and weekends off. She will need time to wind down after 9 hours with three children.
Get a babysitter if you need evenings during summer break.
The oldest will be allowed to play on his iPad or Wii for a half hour and then have some quiet reading time
Allow her to have him watch a movie (get a few new dvds) if necessary. We watched a lot of "A bug's life", "Antz" and "Six Days, Seven Nights" when the baby was asleep (gosh... those were NEW back then). If you are stuck inside with three pre-teens and need the house to be quiet-ish, a movie and a bowl of ice cream can go a long way. It's summer vacation. Allow treats (okay, bribes... ice cream and a movie really are bribing your 7 year old to please be quiet and let baby sleep) you wouldn't usually allow during the year.
![[Post New]](/nanny-forum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}