Au Pair Doesn’t Do Much at All. Help!

[Anonymous]

Dont be afraid to train and give a list. "Sarah, we think you're doing great and we want to step things up now that you're getting adjusted. Here's a list of what is helpful to complete each day that we gave our au pairs in the past. So glad you've been able to show you're up to the challenge so far and let's spend two days going over the chores to make sure you know where everything is and goes."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“APs are NOT household servants; re-read it: NOT HOUSEHOLD SERVANTS. You’re welcome!
It costs parents b/c they sign up for the program, didn’t you know that? Also, I’m sure you know HFs paid the fee to the agency and not directly to APs. Most APs aren’t here for the experience, not sure who told you otherwise. You certainly are unknown of the true intentions of them.”

No au pairs are not house servants, nor are the host family running a hotel for you. Why did you come to the US? So that you can leave you country and try to move to the US??? People in the US have to WORK for what we get, and we are paying you as an au pair to watch our children, which you agreed to do when you signed on. You also need to clean up after yourself.

I have had au pairs and was considering doing so again, until I read this thread. definitely not worth the headache….

Those fees have nothing to do with the AP. What does, is how much you pay them weekly. You already have an extra room in your house so housing costs you nothing extra, so just food.

Bless your heart. I understand that you think the only fees that matter is the money that goes into an Au pair’s pocket. My kids would probably have the same understanding. I’m not advocating for the Au pair program, but thinking the fees paid to the agency - which benefit both the AP and the family - and the fees that the families pay for the sole benefit of the Au pair (car insurance premiums, food, utilities) “don’t matter” is pure ignorance. You sound young and inexperienced.

And yes most families probably do have a spare room (ie, they don’t buy a larger, more expensive house specifically to house an AP), but they are unable to use that room for the entire year - to their inconvenience.

I guess when you’re a big girl you can buy a house and host a bunch of randos since it doesn’t cost you anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“APs are NOT household servants; re-read it: NOT HOUSEHOLD SERVANTS. You’re welcome!
It costs parents b/c they sign up for the program, didn’t you know that? Also, I’m sure you know HFs paid the fee to the agency and not directly to APs. Most APs aren’t here for the experience, not sure who told you otherwise. You certainly are unknown of the true intentions of them.”

No au pairs are not house servants, nor are the host family running a hotel for you. Why did you come to the US? So that you can leave you country and try to move to the US??? People in the US have to WORK for what we get, and we are paying you as an au pair to watch our children, which you agreed to do when you signed on. You also need to clean up after yourself.

I have had au pairs and was considering doing so again, until I read this thread. definitely not worth the headache….

Those fees have nothing to do with the AP. What does, is how much you pay them weekly. You already have an extra room in your house so housing costs you nothing extra, so just food.

Bless your heart. I understand that you think the only fees that matter is the money that goes into an Au pair’s pocket. My kids would probably have the same understanding. I’m not advocating for the Au pair program, but thinking the fees paid to the agency - which benefit both the AP and the family - and the fees that the families pay for the sole benefit of the Au pair (car insurance premiums, food, utilities) “don’t matter” is pure ignorance. You sound young and inexperienced.

And yes most families probably do have a spare room (ie, they don’t buy a larger, more expensive house specifically to house an AP), but they are unable to use that room for the entire year - to their inconvenience.

I guess when you’re a big girl you can buy a house and host a bunch of randos since it doesn’t cost you anything.

Exactly, there is a huge opportunity cost to having an AP live in your extra room. It could be rented out for extra income, used for guests, home office etc. HFs choose to have the AP stay there, but it's not "free" to anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“APs are NOT household servants; re-read it: NOT HOUSEHOLD SERVANTS. You’re welcome!
It costs parents b/c they sign up for the program, didn’t you know that? Also, I’m sure you know HFs paid the fee to the agency and not directly to APs. Most APs aren’t here for the experience, not sure who told you otherwise. You certainly are unknown of the true intentions of them.”

No au pairs are not house servants, nor are the host family running a hotel for you. Why did you come to the US? So that you can leave you country and try to move to the US??? People in the US have to WORK for what we get, and we are paying you as an au pair to watch our children, which you agreed to do when you signed on. You also need to clean up after yourself.

I have had au pairs and was considering doing so again, until I read this thread. definitely not worth the headache….

Those fees have nothing to do with the AP. What does, is how much you pay them weekly. You already have an extra room in your house so housing costs you nothing extra, so just food.

Bless your heart. I understand that you think the only fees that matter is the money that goes into an Au pair’s pocket. My kids would probably have the same understanding. I’m not advocating for the Au pair program, but thinking the fees paid to the agency - which benefit both the AP and the family - and the fees that the families pay for the sole benefit of the Au pair (car insurance premiums, food, utilities) “don’t matter” is pure ignorance. You sound young and inexperienced.

And yes most families probably do have a spare room (ie, they don’t buy a larger, more expensive house specifically to house an AP), but they are unable to use that room for the entire year - to their inconvenience.

I guess when you’re a big girl you can buy a house and host a bunch of randos since it doesn’t cost you anything.

FYI agency fees doesn not benefit APs. Take that out of the list. If you can’t afford to pay then stay home
And complain all you want. That’s why you big girl bought a house to spoil the kids and do nothing while having a little job ?!!
Grow up mom, you gotta pay to play. Know exactly why APs are here for? Do your research! You’re very welcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Poor APs that had to live with some of the families here... I didn't realize how much racism and prejudice one had to pass to come work here as an AP.

It’s awful. Hosts thinks that giving the AP a room and frozen food it’s way above their way; these hosts families are cheap, dirty, lazy and unable to care for their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are an experienced HF and our third au pair joined us a month ago. We have had APs from Germany until now and this is our first AP from South America. I hate to say it, but she just doesn’t know how to do very much at all. Even though she is older and we thought had more life experience than the others (our two German girls were 21 and 22, and this AP is 26!). She cant cook more than pasta and frozen premade reheatable foods, she doesn’t tidy-up after the kids, she doesn’t even help them make their beds, I have to ask her to help with their laundry but then she leaves the piles out and doesn’t hide them away. She doesn’t even vacuum her own living area. All she does is drop the kids off at camp and pick them up and then she disappears for the day. I don’t think she understands that this is a job, and we have since found out that she never lived away from home before, which is not what was communicated during matching. Maybe it’s a cultural thing, but our German girls were always more assertive and take charge. Is this a cultural thing? I just find it hard to believe that a 26 year old woman seems so clueless about what being an au pair is about. I assumed they went over this stuff during training bc we never had an issue before. Advice?

For the little money we get, I only watch the kid nothing more nothing less. You want something else then hire a housekeeper and stop being so F cheap!

I am sure if your HF knows your true color, you will be kicked out of the door in 2 seconds.

There are tons of great APs who truly want to experience America and understand/appreciate how much it really costs HFs financially and emotionally and are willingly to do a good job in exchange. If you are not one of them, go back home! Who do you think you are?

Uh-oh host mom got her feelings hurt b/c AP saw her very true colors…no worries your AP thinks you’re a piece of crap. Just speaking truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are an experienced HF and our third au pair joined us a month ago. We have had APs from Germany until now and this is our first AP from South America. I hate to say it, but she just doesn’t know how to do very much at all. Even though she is older and we thought had more life experience than the others (our two German girls were 21 and 22, and this AP is 26!). She cant cook more than pasta and frozen premade reheatable foods, she doesn’t tidy-up after the kids, she doesn’t even help them make their beds, I have to ask her to help with their laundry but then she leaves the piles out and doesn’t hide them away. She doesn’t even vacuum her own living area. All she does is drop the kids off at camp and pick them up and then she disappears for the day. I don’t think she understands that this is a job, and we have since found out that she never lived away from home before, which is not what was communicated during matching. Maybe it’s a cultural thing, but our German girls were always more assertive and take charge. Is this a cultural thing? I just find it hard to believe that a 26 year old woman seems so clueless about what being an au pair is about. I assumed they went over this stuff during training bc we never had an issue before. Advice?

For the little money we get, I only watch the kid nothing more nothing less. You want something else then hire a housekeeper and stop being so F cheap!

I am sure if your HF knows your true color, you will be kicked out of the door in 2 seconds.

There are tons of great APs who truly want to experience America and understand/appreciate how much it really costs HFs financially and emotionally and are willingly to do a good job in exchange. If you are not one of them, go back home! Who do you think you are?

Uh-oh host mom got her feelings hurt b/c AP saw her very true colors…no worries your AP thinks you’re a piece of crap. Just speaking truth.

You sound so bitter. Feel bad for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“APs are NOT household servants; re-read it: NOT HOUSEHOLD SERVANTS. You’re welcome!
It costs parents b/c they sign up for the program, didn’t you know that? Also, I’m sure you know HFs paid the fee to the agency and not directly to APs. Most APs aren’t here for the experience, not sure who told you otherwise. You certainly are unknown of the true intentions of them.”

No au pairs are not house servants, nor are the host family running a hotel for you. Why did you come to the US? So that you can leave you country and try to move to the US??? People in the US have to WORK for what we get, and we are paying you as an au pair to watch our children, which you agreed to do when you signed on. You also need to clean up after yourself.

I have had au pairs and was considering doing so again, until I read this thread. definitely not worth the headache….

Those fees have nothing to do with the AP. What does, is how much you pay them weekly. You already have an extra room in your house so housing costs you nothing extra, so just food.

Bless your heart. I understand that you think the only fees that matter is the money that goes into an Au pair’s pocket. My kids would probably have the same understanding. I’m not advocating for the Au pair program, but thinking the fees paid to the agency - which benefit both the AP and the family - and the fees that the families pay for the sole benefit of the Au pair (car insurance premiums, food, utilities) “don’t matter” is pure ignorance. You sound young and inexperienced.

And yes most families probably do have a spare room (ie, they don’t buy a larger, more expensive house specifically to house an AP), but they are unable to use that room for the entire year - to their inconvenience.

I guess when you’re a big girl you can buy a house and host a bunch of randos since it doesn’t cost you anything.

FYI agency fees doesn not benefit APs. Take that out of the list. If you can’t afford to pay then stay home
And complain all you want. That’s why you big girl bought a house to spoil the kids and do nothing while having a little job ?!!
Grow up mom, you gotta pay to play. Know exactly why APs are here for? Do your research! You’re very welcome.

Who pays the Au pair’s health insurance premiums?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“APs are NOT household servants; re-read it: NOT HOUSEHOLD SERVANTS. You’re welcome!
It costs parents b/c they sign up for the program, didn’t you know that? Also, I’m sure you know HFs paid the fee to the agency and not directly to APs. Most APs aren’t here for the experience, not sure who told you otherwise. You certainly are unknown of the true intentions of them.”

No au pairs are not house servants, nor are the host family running a hotel for you. Why did you come to the US? So that you can leave you country and try to move to the US??? People in the US have to WORK for what we get, and we are paying you as an au pair to watch our children, which you agreed to do when you signed on. You also need to clean up after yourself.

I have had au pairs and was considering doing so again, until I read this thread. definitely not worth the headache….

Those fees have nothing to do with the AP. What does, is how much you pay them weekly. You already have an extra room in your house so housing costs you nothing extra, so just food.

Bless your heart. I understand that you think the only fees that matter is the money that goes into an Au pair’s pocket. My kids would probably have the same understanding. I’m not advocating for the Au pair program, but thinking the fees paid to the agency - which benefit both the AP and the family - and the fees that the families pay for the sole benefit of the Au pair (car insurance premiums, food, utilities) “don’t matter” is pure ignorance. You sound young and inexperienced.

And yes most families probably do have a spare room (ie, they don’t buy a larger, more expensive house specifically to house an AP), but they are unable to use that room for the entire year - to their inconvenience.

I guess when you’re a big girl you can buy a house and host a bunch of randos since it doesn’t cost you anything.

Exactly, there is a huge opportunity cost to having an AP live in your extra room. It could be rented out for extra income, used for guests, home office etc. HFs choose to have the AP stay there, but it's not "free" to anyone.

Most families who can afford an ap are not renting out rooms. Be real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“APs are NOT household servants; re-read it: NOT HOUSEHOLD SERVANTS. You’re welcome!
It costs parents b/c they sign up for the program, didn’t you know that? Also, I’m sure you know HFs paid the fee to the agency and not directly to APs. Most APs aren’t here for the experience, not sure who told you otherwise. You certainly are unknown of the true intentions of them.”

No au pairs are not house servants, nor are the host family running a hotel for you. Why did you come to the US? So that you can leave you country and try to move to the US??? People in the US have to WORK for what we get, and we are paying you as an au pair to watch our children, which you agreed to do when you signed on. You also need to clean up after yourself.

I have had au pairs and was considering doing so again, until I read this thread. definitely not worth the headache….

Those fees have nothing to do with the AP. What does, is how much you pay them weekly. You already have an extra room in your house so housing costs you nothing extra, so just food.

Bless your heart. I understand that you think the only fees that matter is the money that goes into an Au pair’s pocket. My kids would probably have the same understanding. I’m not advocating for the Au pair program, but thinking the fees paid to the agency - which benefit both the AP and the family - and the fees that the families pay for the sole benefit of the Au pair (car insurance premiums, food, utilities) “don’t matter” is pure ignorance. You sound young and inexperienced.

And yes most families probably do have a spare room (ie, they don’t buy a larger, more expensive house specifically to house an AP), but they are unable to use that room for the entire year - to their inconvenience.

I guess when you’re a big girl you can buy a house and host a bunch of randos since it doesn’t cost you anything.

Exactly, there is a huge opportunity cost to having an AP live in your extra room. It could be rented out for extra income, used for guests, home office etc. HFs choose to have the AP stay there, but it's not "free" to anyone.

Most families who can afford an ap are not renting out rooms. Be real.

How would you know? Be real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“APs are NOT household servants; re-read it: NOT HOUSEHOLD SERVANTS. You’re welcome!
It costs parents b/c they sign up for the program, didn’t you know that? Also, I’m sure you know HFs paid the fee to the agency and not directly to APs. Most APs aren’t here for the experience, not sure who told you otherwise. You certainly are unknown of the true intentions of them.”

No au pairs are not house servants, nor are the host family running a hotel for you. Why did you come to the US? So that you can leave you country and try to move to the US??? People in the US have to WORK for what we get, and we are paying you as an au pair to watch our children, which you agreed to do when you signed on. You also need to clean up after yourself.

I have had au pairs and was considering doing so again, until I read this thread. definitely not worth the headache….

Those fees have nothing to do with the AP. What does, is how much you pay them weekly. You already have an extra room in your house so housing costs you nothing extra, so just food.

Bless your heart. I understand that you think the only fees that matter is the money that goes into an Au pair’s pocket. My kids would probably have the same understanding. I’m not advocating for the Au pair program, but thinking the fees paid to the agency - which benefit both the AP and the family - and the fees that the families pay for the sole benefit of the Au pair (car insurance premiums, food, utilities) “don’t matter” is pure ignorance. You sound young and inexperienced.

And yes most families probably do have a spare room (ie, they don’t buy a larger, more expensive house specifically to house an AP), but they are unable to use that room for the entire year - to their inconvenience.

I guess when you’re a big girl you can buy a house and host a bunch of randos since it doesn’t cost you anything.

Exactly, there is a huge opportunity cost to having an AP live in your extra room. It could be rented out for extra income, used for guests, home office etc. HFs choose to have the AP stay there, but it's not "free" to anyone.

Most families who can afford an ap are not renting out rooms. Be real.

PP here, I am being real. For many years we rented out the room our AP now stays in. We're not rich, we needed the extra income. Having an AP is a stretch for us but we really need the help and the AP program mostly works for us. Please don't generalize about the types of families that have or need APs. There is a wide range.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are an experienced HF and our third au pair joined us a month ago. We have had APs from Germany until now and this is our first AP from South America. I hate to say it, but she just doesn’t know how to do very much at all. Even though she is older and we thought had more life experience than the others (our two German girls were 21 and 22, and this AP is 26!). She cant cook more than pasta and frozen premade reheatable foods, she doesn’t tidy-up after the kids, she doesn’t even help them make their beds, I have to ask her to help with their laundry but then she leaves the piles out and doesn’t hide them away. She doesn’t even vacuum her own living area. All she does is drop the kids off at camp and pick them up and then she disappears for the day. I don’t think she understands that this is a job, and we have since found out that she never lived away from home before, which is not what was communicated during matching. Maybe it’s a cultural thing, but our German girls were always more assertive and take charge. Is this a cultural thing? I just find it hard to believe that a 26 year old woman seems so clueless about what being an au pair is about. I assumed they went over this stuff during training bc we never had an issue before. Advice?

For the little money we get, I only watch the kid nothing more nothing less. You want something else then hire a housekeeper and stop being so F cheap!

I am sure if your HF knows your true color, you will be kicked out of the door in 2 seconds.

There are tons of great APs who truly want to experience America and understand/appreciate how much it really costs HFs financially and emotionally and are willingly to do a good job in exchange. If you are not one of them, go back home! Who do you think you are?

Uh-oh host mom got her feelings hurt b/c AP saw her very true colors…no worries your AP thinks you’re a piece of crap. Just speaking truth.

I always show my true colors to my AP. Good, bad and ugly. If she chooses to take it, I will treat her exactly how I told her that I would. If she wants to walk away, door is over there and see you later! AP doesn't have to be perfect (nobody is), but don't lie to me and pretend who she really isn't. I am truthful person, and if APs are too dumn to see that, I can't be more careless about what they think about me.

[Anonymous]

Neither an AP nor a host (yet), but it seems like it would benefit everyone if agencies were cut out of the transaction since they're doing very little screening on both ends anyway. Then, the APs could be paid more and feel better about some of the tasks they're asked to do.