Taking Au Pair on a cruise

[Anonymous]

NP. This pp ^^ is a former Au Pair. And her perspective is the reason that people are warning you that taking someone on a fancy vacation could bite you.

Host Mom: “I’m spending an extra $2500 to take her on this fancy cruise where she is going to get to see several other countries! She’s going to love it!”

AP: “You expect me to just be available to babysit for you when you ask? Sorry, I gotta work on this tan. Also, I’m going to need my own room with a door so if you think you’re getting out of this for less than $5000 then lolz.”

Solution: no vacations with AP.

This is why families don’t take them.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are going on a cruise with 3 young children and you are bringing your AP. Of course you are going to want her help. Aside from all of the “if” situations you described....

1. You are going to want AP to come with you on the first camp drop off and pick up so she knows where it is and the procedures.

2. Even if all three kids like the camp and no potty issues, you are going to want AP to do the occasional drop off or pick up so that you can finish your book, take a shower, etc.

3. While you take kid A to a special activity, you may want AP to stay back with kids B and C.

It sounds like you have a mature AP who will be fine with all the above. But she is technically working in the above scenarios.

[Anonymous]

“We are really only bringing ap along because she seemed interested and it’s a nice thing to do.”

And because it will be nice to have an extra set of hands with three kids on a busy crowded cruise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“We are really only bringing ap along because she seemed interested and it’s a nice thing to do.”

And because it will be nice to have an extra set of hands with three kids on a busy crowded cruise.

Well I do have a husband (the children’s Father) and a grandmother along. Didn’t need the ap but since she’s coming and agreed to work we will give her a few planned hours as stated.

[Anonymous]

We frequently take our au pairs camping (on the San Juan islands in Washington). Should they have their own tent or is it ok to share?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“We are really only bringing ap along because she seemed interested and it’s a nice thing to do.”

And because it will be nice to have an extra set of hands with three kids on a busy crowded cruise.

Well I do have a husband (the children’s Father) and a grandmother along. Didn’t need the ap but since she’s coming and agreed to work we will give her a few planned hours as stated.

I guess the point many posters are trying to make to you is that you know that you don’t need AP on the cruise and would have plenty of help and child care without her. She doesn’t know that. If she’s bitter and entitled, it will be just like the APs in this thread are saying— she won’t believe that you’re inviting her along out of generosity and will read evil intentions into everything.

Personally, I think 4 months in, it’s a bit of a risk. Most entitled APs don’t make themselves known until 6-8 months in.

[Anonymous]

We frequently take our au pairs camping (on the San Juan islands in Washington). Should they have their own tent or is it ok to share?

According to the APIA handbook, if she is expected to work, the same house rules apply...private room or in your case, tent. I think the fun of camping is sharing a tent so I imagine your APs have shared and been fine with it. I think the point most people are making is that “vacationing” with APs can enter the gray area really fast. How about HF just admit that while including AP on a trip is nice and generous, you have an expectation that she help which is going to fall under “work”. Probably 80% of APs will be matures about it but not all APs are mature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We frequently take our au pairs camping (on the San Juan islands in Washington). Should they have their own tent or is it ok to share?

According to the APIA handbook, if she is expected to work, the same house rules apply...private room or in your case, tent. I think the fun of camping is sharing a tent so I imagine your APs have shared and been fine with it. I think the point most people are making is that “vacationing” with APs can enter the gray area really fast. How about HF just admit that while including AP on a trip is nice and generous, you have an expectation that she help which is going to fall under “work”. Probably 80% of APs will be matures about it but not all APs are mature.

You can get a 2-3 person tent for $20-50. Yes, give her a tent.

[Anonymous]

We take our aps on vacation with us. This year Disney world only 2 months in with latest ap. We do not need her; but not taking her (or any of our ape) would create drama and tension - Disney is 90% of their American dream.

It has worked out for us, costs a lot as we let them bring a friend and they have their own room on property. But even with the early trip for the latest one it has worked just fine.

Disney cruise I would not do with ap though. A normal cruise maybe (staff is allowed to hook up with guests, Disney no); Disney there are no options for ap other than married men or older men playing nice with ex; and really just kids or couples settings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We take our aps on vacation with us. This year Disney world only 2 months in with latest ap. We do not need her; but not taking her (or any of our ape) would create drama and tension - Disney is 90% of their American dream.

It has worked out for us, costs a lot as we let them bring a friend and they have their own room on property. But even with the early trip for the latest one it has worked just fine.

Disney cruise I would not do with ap though. A normal cruise maybe (staff is allowed to hook up with guests, Disney no); Disney there are no options for ap other than married men or older men playing nice with ex; and really just kids or couples settings.

Wait - you would only take an ap on a cruise where she could potentially “hook up with” a crew member?? Seriously? Do your au pairs only care about dating and sex? Not a single one of my au pairs would’ve seen a cruise (or any other vacation they went on with host family) as an opportunity date. And they certainly aren’t interested in married or formerly married dads.

[Anonymous]

Disney is 90% of their American dream.

Is your AP ten years old? We are on AP #4 and NONE of them have ever mentioned Disney or traveled there during 1-2 years in USA.

[Anonymous]

There are lots of different types of APs. Some would enjoy a cruise just fine without buckets of alcohol and booty calls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Disney is 90% of their American dream.

Is your AP ten years old? We are on AP #4 and NONE of them have ever mentioned Disney or traveled there during 1-2 years in USA.

I have hosted many and a lot of them love Disney.

YMMV.

[Anonymous]

Big difference between loving Disney and stating it is 90% of their American dream. These are adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We take our aps on vacation with us. This year Disney world only 2 months in with latest ap. We do not need her; but not taking her (or any of our ape) would create drama and tension - Disney is 90% of their American dream.

It has worked out for us, costs a lot as we let them bring a friend and they have their own room on property. But even with the early trip for the latest one it has worked just fine.

Disney cruise I would not do with ap though. A normal cruise maybe (staff is allowed to hook up with guests, Disney no); Disney there are no options for ap other than married men or older men playing nice with ex; and really just kids or couples settings.

Wait - you would only take an ap on a cruise where she could potentially “hook up with” a crew member?? Seriously? Do your au pairs only care about dating and sex? Not a single one of my au pairs would’ve seen a cruise (or any other vacation they went on with host family) as an opportunity date. And they certainly aren’t interested in married or formerly married dads.

Not to mention that there is a time and a place. Family vacation with host parents is NOT the place to expect to meet men. The implication that HF would encourage or condone hook-ups while on vacation with them is a little creepy. Hoping this is not what was meant.