Taking Au Pair on a cruise

[Anonymous]

"Oh we'll just stay out of the room entirely while she's getting ready"...again this bizarre situation is not even worth the drama but you choose to put yourself in an unnecessary sticky situation for the sake of feelings. Just imagine if your daughter were in an undesirable situation like this as a young adult, I'm sure you would think twice.

The problem with this is your lack of ability to set boundaries for your family and AP. Of course your AP will agree to it because she is a young adult who doesn't want to miss out on a wonderful vacation. You on the other hand are an adult, and you should have better judgement. I'm sure your LCC and agency would advise you against this type of arrangement, but you are too stubborn to understand why this is ridiculous and crossing the line. Carry on, I'm sure you will offer the same type of bizarre vacation sleeping arrangement to future APs until you get burned and embarrassed.

Well said. Making decisions and establishing boundaries based on "our beloved aupair would be SO BUMMED"? I know if I had been young AP in another country sharing a hotel room with my HF, my parents would have been so alarmed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sure in hindsight sleeping on a mattress would have been good enough for you. Imagine how it could’ve been spun.... “Aupair forced to sleep on floor mattress while HP and their children sleep in luxury beds”

#notworththedrama

OMG. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

"Oh we'll just stay out of the room entirely while she's getting ready"...again this bizarre situation is not even worth the drama but you choose to put yourself in an unnecessary sticky situation for the sake of feelings. Just imagine if your daughter were in an undesirable situation like this as a young adult, I'm sure you would think twice.

The problem with this is your lack of ability to set boundaries for your family and AP. Of course your AP will agree to it because she is a young adult who doesn't want to miss out on a wonderful vacation. You on the other hand are an adult, and you should have better judgement. I'm sure your LCC and agency would advise you against this type of arrangement, but you are too stubborn to understand why this is ridiculous and crossing the line. Carry on, I'm sure you will offer the same type of bizarre vacation sleeping arrangement to future APs until you get burned and embarrassed.

Well said. Making decisions and establishing boundaries based on "our beloved aupair would be SO BUMMED"? I know if I had been young AP in another country sharing a hotel room with my HF, my parents would have been so alarmed.

Even if their daughter was in the room too? Like, it was fine and dandy for you to AP in a foreign country and live in a strange family's house, but sharing a hotel room for a week with them and their kid in your dream destination would have been alarming? Bizarre.

[Anonymous]

I am a HD and think having my AP stay in the same room with us is a bridge too far on the creepy factor and PIA for prep time. I swear all our aps take an hour to get ready to anywhere; I would go insane.

[Anonymous]

Here's the good news for those of you (even the alleged HD) who have stated that they would not have the AP share a hotel room with the family (child/ren included): you don't have to do it! Isn't that great?

I personally don't like to offer judgmental, unsolicited advice - but other(s) here clearly do, so to each his own!

[Anonymous]

Thankfully my DH would never entertain this idea either!

[Anonymous]

I am a HD and think having my AP stay in the same room with us is a bridge too far on the creepy factor and PIA for prep time. I swear all our aps take an hour to get ready to anywhere; I would go insane.

[Anonymous]

To the people getting defensive about those of us who are pointing out that things can go downhill fast if you take AP on vacation- you’ve got to recognize that we aren’t necessarily saying that we like the fact that it’s so full of potential problems. We’ve just had APs have a different experience on vacation than we intended, or frankly, than any reasonable person would have had. Some APs are just wired to see things in the worst possible light. OP hasn’t had her AP with her for long enough to be a reliable judge of whether she’s got a winner or a princess.

[Anonymous]

Most au pairs are here for a year only. If 4-5 months in isn’t enough time to know if they’re a winner or a princess then when is?

We knew within a month or possibly 2 how our aps were and whether or not we could handle taking them on vacation or giving other perks. Or maybe you’re just not a good judge of character or manager? I don’t see why it takes so long?

[Anonymous]

Ever heard the advice, “go on vacation with him/her before you get married”. Think about, people often show a different side of themselves on vacation and it is not always positive. Not everyone makes a good travel companion. Just not a risk some of us are willing to take if vacation time is few and far between. We did take our first AP with us to Mexico. She got very sick and we spent the week dealing with that. Not her fault but not the way I was looking to spend my vacation time.