Nanny seems to think our money grows on trees

[Anonymous]

Op why even you are putting this topic here for discussion.

Why it's so hard for OP to discuss this problem with her nanny.

How hard is it to tell your nanny straight that we are not rich and can't buy you the plane ticket. END OF DISCUSSION.
If you are not happy about her answer then look for different Nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, remember rich is a relative term. Compared to other countries and areas of the world, you are "rich." Whereas, many of us, despite a high income given the cost of living live much more middle class because of it all. To her you are rich. However, those comments are not appropriate.

I would flat out tell her its not appropriate for her to ask your daughter to demand you buy her a plane ticket. You don't buy yourself it and you aren't going to buy her it as an household employee.

As for clothing, I generally have spares and people think I spend a fortune on clothing when I buy major clearance ahead of time. Kids lose stuff... its reasonable to look for it for a day or two before replacing (we generally keep two coats but I'm only paying $4-8 for a new coat). Pants, I'd probably replace for a big hole, sew for a small but at this time of year, I'd fix as they will change sizes next year (well, I always have next years now so its not an issue but most people don't). I'd hand her a thread and needle and ask her to fix it if she handles laundry.

Lol patching your kids pants is not your nanny's job. Can't you all do anything your damn selves?

You sound bitter and burned out. You should probably enter a new field.

Because I think the scope of a nanny's job isn't boundless? I mean sure it can be, but not for what the average DCUM is paying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, remember rich is a relative term. Compared to other countries and areas of the world, you are "rich." Whereas, many of us, despite a high income given the cost of living live much more middle class because of it all. To her you are rich. However, those comments are not appropriate.

I would flat out tell her its not appropriate for her to ask your daughter to demand you buy her a plane ticket. You don't buy yourself it and you aren't going to buy her it as an household employee.

As for clothing, I generally have spares and people think I spend a fortune on clothing when I buy major clearance ahead of time. Kids lose stuff... its reasonable to look for it for a day or two before replacing (we generally keep two coats but I'm only paying $4-8 for a new coat). Pants, I'd probably replace for a big hole, sew for a small but at this time of year, I'd fix as they will change sizes next year (well, I always have next years now so its not an issue but most people don't). I'd hand her a thread and needle and ask her to fix it if she handles laundry.

Lol patching your kids pants is not your nanny's job. Can't you all do anything your damn selves?

You sound bitter and burned out. You should probably enter a new field.

Because I think the scope of a nanny's job isn't boundless? I mean sure it can be, but not for what the average DCUM is paying.

No, because you're upset by how much your employers do or don't do for their "damn selves."

[Anonymous]

Sometimes in life when you offer an inch, people start to only want miles.

Your nanny fits this category perfectly.

Remember OP: No good deed goes unpunished.

Simply ignore nanny when she says you should buy this....And that too.
Even if you had all the money in the world, your wallet is none of her darn business.

If she ever needs a favor again, do not give in.
She thinks you are her ca$h cow now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes in life when you offer an inch, people start to only want miles.

Your nanny fits this category perfectly.

Remember OP: No good deed goes unpunished.

Simply ignore nanny when she says you should buy this....And that too.
Even if you had all the money in the world, your wallet is none of her darn business.

If she ever needs a favor again, do not give in.
She thinks you are her ca$h cow now.

This. OP, you opened the door to it. The suggested chat "Judy, blah blah blah for 3 paragraphs..." will only work if the nanny is an educated American woman. For someone from another culture (that's probably poorer than the US) buy-buy-buy is an expression of affection or love. My family is like that overseas, when I go home I clean out Potomac Mills since to my people stuff means I really care. With the nanny, I would (1) ignore suggestions to buy kids stuff. If these are frequent - give a puzzled look with a raised eyebrow (2) for stuff like the ticket home manupulation - act very surprised and raise 2 eyebrows, shake your head and say "wow". Less is more, she'll sort out the message.

[Anonymous]

Agree your nanny sounds manipulative. I'd address that head on with her. Maybe ask her why DD asked you to buy her a plane ticket. I'd be a little more careful about the suggestions that you buy more stuff for your kids. I actually want our nanny to tell me when she things something is worn out or too small (not the situation you described, I know), and I used to be someone who had a back up for everything. But for me, I realized that if I have a backup I often us that without realizing it and then don't know when the original went missing. Thus it is harder to track down. I also feel like our place is pretty small, so don't want to use up space with spares. All this to say, if you want your nanny to suggest things she thinks your kids need, you could explain to her (as I have to mine) that you don't have space for lots of extra things the kids don't need.

[Anonymous]

What happened, OP? Did you talk to her?

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny,and I think you are completely right,you have to pay your nanny the salary she's deserve,Christmas bonus/ Birthday day,vacation,that it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny,and I think you are completely right,you have to pay your nanny the salary she's deserve,Christmas bonus/ Birthday day,vacation,that it.

A birthday bonus?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny,and I think you are completely right,you have to pay your nanny the salary she's deserve,Christmas bonus/ Birthday day,vacation,that it.

A birthday bonus?

NP. You make sure she feels appreciated... whatever it takes. Or she'll soon have a new employer who will, if she's any good.

Get the picture?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny,and I think you are completely right,you have to pay your nanny the salary she's deserve,Christmas bonus/ Birthday day,vacation,that it.

A birthday bonus?

NP. You make sure she feels appreciated... whatever it takes. Or she'll soon have a new employer who will, if she's any good.

Get the picture?

Not even close to how this works. The EMPLOYEE does their job well to ensure that their EMPLOYER wishes to continue to pay them. There are scores of nannies who are all relatively comparable, why do you think families have to weed through 100s of applicants?

But sure, quit your job over a "birthday bonus", I'd love to see you explain that one to your next prospective employer...you are seriously deluding yourself with how invaluable you are.

[Anonymous]

np: I hired my nanny 5 years ago. Every nanny I interviewed drove an SUV. She drove a Range Rover. We buy cars used and don't fix dents.