Nanny seems to think our money grows on trees

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's her weekly pay? In all honesty she may not be able to afford a plane ticket

Good question. OP??

[Anonymous]

Most nannies think everyone is loaded. And they don't know the costs of things.

Just keep saying No to her goofy requests, or just ignore them. Sometimes there is a language barrier or lost in translation moment anyhow.

Keep the relationship professional. Don't stress. A nanny is never going to treat your house, car, furniture, or kids' clothes like her own. That is a rare (and great) nanny.

[Anonymous]

Tell your nanny that you guys are so damn rich that you are both quitting your day jobs to play around. So she is no longer needed.

Then go find a better nanny and keep saving & investing your money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. Thanks for your comments. Aside from this issue we LOVE our nanny but this has been bugging me for some time. She had DD say something to me in front of her and it was so awkward because I was caught completely off guard. I just said something like "if we had the money I'd be happy to pay for her ticket but unfortunately we don't."

PP here - fwiw, I could also see one of my kids just popping out with a comment about how we should buy our nanny a plane ticket without any prompting from the nanny. Is there any chance that was the case? My 4 year old especially has absolutely no concept of money and gets excited over a handful of pennies thinking she can now buy every toy she ever wanted. She wants to give gifts to everyone, though thankfully it's usually a handmade card or drawing or a flower from our yard.

OP here, I could see my kids doing that too but in this case I was standing right there when she prompted DD to tell me. She said "remember you were going to ask Mommy to buy me a plane ticket to go home."

Tacky and unprofessional. Beyond tacky.

If she wants some $1-2k flight she should save her own money up. By sacrificing and keeping a budget. We don't give away our after tax income like that not so we gift away our emergency frequent flyer miles.

Btw, a nannys personal budget has nothing to do with her employer. You don't get raises, bonuses or freebies because you complain about needing to pay bills or vacation trips, you get it by outperforming. And if you run your life needing 2k a week, find a different type of job entirely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's her weekly pay? In all honesty she may not be able to afford a plane ticket

More likely she sends 20-40% of her paychecks to her family back home (adult kids, parents, etc.). So hitting you up for loans, dental/Doctor procedures or international plan tickets is worth a shot. Poor judgment on her part.

[Anonymous]

OP here, I could see my kids doing that too but in this case I was standing right there when she prompted DD to tell me. She said "remember you were going to ask Mommy to buy me a plane ticket to go home."

Nanny and NP here. That ^^^^ in and of itself would make me request a sit down meeting to discuss how you want to raise your children, the values you find important, and a warning that trying to manipulate your child again will result in dismissal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's her weekly pay? In all honesty she may not be able to afford a plane ticket

How is this OPs problem? Plane tickets are not a basic living expense and no one is entitled to make enough money to fly wherever they want whenever they want. If OPs nanny wishes to take a vacation she needs to budget and save for it like the rest of the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's her weekly pay? In all honesty she may not be able to afford a plane ticket

How is this OPs problem? Plane tickets are not a basic living expense and no one is entitled to make enough money to fly wherever they want whenever they want. If OPs nanny wishes to take a vacation she needs to budget and save for it like the rest of the world.

I agree but my point is she may not be able to afford to do so. My last family thought they paid me well but after taxes bringing home 500$ weekly didn't go far. After gas, paying bills, food and providing for my 2 kids I was lucky to have 10$ left to my name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's her weekly pay? In all honesty she may not be able to afford a plane ticket

How is this OPs problem? Plane tickets are not a basic living expense and no one is entitled to make enough money to fly wherever they want whenever they want. If OPs nanny wishes to take a vacation she needs to budget and save for it like the rest of the world.

I agree but my point is she may not be able to afford to do so. My last family thought they paid me well but after taxes bringing home 500$ weekly didn't go far. After gas, paying bills, food and providing for my 2 kids I was lucky to have 10$ left to my name.

Again, not OPs problem. There seems to be some prevailing notion that nanny employers are under some obligation to pay enough to provide their employees with a certain standard of living (they are, after all, doing the most stressful job in the whole world and taking care of precious children ) just by nature of their job. This is false. There is a market rate for nanny positions, whether or not an individual can afford to live how they wish is up to them. This is how EVERY OTHER JOB works, why should nannies have special dispensations?

[Anonymous]

All "employers are under some obligation to pay enough to provide their employees with a certain standard of living."

I mean, obviously. Otherwise you're externalizing your cost of living onto someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's really going on, OP? You're dancing around lots of issues.

Sounds like:

1) OP is rich.
2) OP doesn't feel rich.
3) Nanny knows OP is rich.
4) That pisses off OP, who is trying to act as poor as she grew up by stitching holes in pants and not buying second jackets, like that somehow cleanses her of being rich.

Bingo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All "employers are under some obligation to pay enough to provide their employees with a certain standard of living."

I mean, obviously. Otherwise you're externalizing your cost of living onto someone else.

Agree with this. I don't think an employer is obligated to pay enough for their nanny to take expensive trips, and OPs nanny was out of line using the child to manipulate her.

However, if you are personally responsible for someone living below the poverty line, you should be ashamed of yourself. Yes you are obligated to pay enough for your employee to have a basic standard of living because if you don't, you're asking her to subsidize YOUR standard of living with her well being. It's wrong.

Also, enough with the condescending nanny stereotyping. Not all of us are idiots that have no comprehension of what things cost. Not all of us are scraping by. And not all of us envy your lifestyles. I for one think it's kind of sad that my MB is such a slave to her salary that she works constantly but clearly would rather be with her child, and I get to be instead.

[Anonymous]

OP, remember rich is a relative term. Compared to other countries and areas of the world, you are "rich." Whereas, many of us, despite a high income given the cost of living live much more middle class because of it all. To her you are rich. However, those comments are not appropriate.

I would flat out tell her its not appropriate for her to ask your daughter to demand you buy her a plane ticket. You don't buy yourself it and you aren't going to buy her it as an household employee.

As for clothing, I generally have spares and people think I spend a fortune on clothing when I buy major clearance ahead of time. Kids lose stuff... its reasonable to look for it for a day or two before replacing (we generally keep two coats but I'm only paying $4-8 for a new coat). Pants, I'd probably replace for a big hole, sew for a small but at this time of year, I'd fix as they will change sizes next year (well, I always have next years now so its not an issue but most people don't). I'd hand her a thread and needle and ask her to fix it if she handles laundry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, remember rich is a relative term. Compared to other countries and areas of the world, you are "rich." Whereas, many of us, despite a high income given the cost of living live much more middle class because of it all. To her you are rich. However, those comments are not appropriate.

I would flat out tell her its not appropriate for her to ask your daughter to demand you buy her a plane ticket. You don't buy yourself it and you aren't going to buy her it as an household employee.

As for clothing, I generally have spares and people think I spend a fortune on clothing when I buy major clearance ahead of time. Kids lose stuff... its reasonable to look for it for a day or two before replacing (we generally keep two coats but I'm only paying $4-8 for a new coat). Pants, I'd probably replace for a big hole, sew for a small but at this time of year, I'd fix as they will change sizes next year (well, I always have next years now so its not an issue but most people don't). I'd hand her a thread and needle and ask her to fix it if she handles laundry.

Lol patching your kids pants is not your nanny's job. Can't you all do anything your damn selves?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, remember rich is a relative term. Compared to other countries and areas of the world, you are "rich." Whereas, many of us, despite a high income given the cost of living live much more middle class because of it all. To her you are rich. However, those comments are not appropriate.

I would flat out tell her its not appropriate for her to ask your daughter to demand you buy her a plane ticket. You don't buy yourself it and you aren't going to buy her it as an household employee.

As for clothing, I generally have spares and people think I spend a fortune on clothing when I buy major clearance ahead of time. Kids lose stuff... its reasonable to look for it for a day or two before replacing (we generally keep two coats but I'm only paying $4-8 for a new coat). Pants, I'd probably replace for a big hole, sew for a small but at this time of year, I'd fix as they will change sizes next year (well, I always have next years now so its not an issue but most people don't). I'd hand her a thread and needle and ask her to fix it if she handles laundry.

Lol patching your kids pants is not your nanny's job. Can't you all do anything your damn selves?

You sound bitter and burned out. You should probably enter a new field.