What is wrong with new parents?

[Anonymous]

We have had nannies for the past 7+ years. The best nannies have always been the ones WILLING to take on more tasks (note that I say willing, as additional housekeeping is not part of the job description at our house). It's not because I'm looking for a bargain, it's because those individuals had great work ethic, flexibility, and (for lack of a better term) team spirit. Those are the kind of people I want around my kids.

We've had a couple of "I am a CHILDCARE PROFESSIONAL!!!" nannies who would only grudgingly consider emptying a dishwasher and would hand wash a couple of plates just to avoid the dreaded task. Those were the nannies who would be found shoving their iPhones into their pocket if I came home unexpectedly early. The kids were not getting their undivided attention. Those nannies were lazy all around, and we quickly parted ways with them.

We have found that the nannies asking for very middle of the road wages, and OFFERING to lend a hand with other tasks, have been the best. Anyone describing themselves as an "infant specialist" would have gone immediately into the discard pile. Why hire someone with such limited abilities?

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny to first time parents and they are amazing! Never micro manage, have never asked me to do anything that's not stated in my contract. Because they are so good to me I do fold their laundry if it's in their dryer, always unload the dishwasher and keep the house spotless. I do these things Bc they would never expect me to and are so grateful when I do!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny to first time parents and they are amazing! Never micro manage, have never asked me to do anything that's not stated in my contract. Because they are so good to me I do fold their laundry if it's in their dryer, always unload the dishwasher and keep the house spotless. I do these things Bc they would never expect me to and are so grateful when I do!

The most successful nanny/parent relationships are like this!
I would be considered a "entitled nanny" by the MBs on this post.
I have worked for parents who spring the "fold my laundry" and "bake this cake for me to take to a party" crap on me.
I only ever did what was required of me in my contract. I never went above and beyond...because they just expect it.
In my experience, these are the families who never thank you for anything.
Parents who don't expect any work unrelated to their child are the ones I want to go above and beyond for.
They are grateful to you just for doing your job and for being a good caregiver.
I will go to the ends of the earth to make their lives easier...because they treat me with respect and don't try to suck every last minute of labor out of me.

[Anonymous]

I inform the parents, right up front, I don't mind doing none related child items. I normally start at infant age (1-2 months with the parents still home). I will clean bottles, prep bottles, do laundry ( baby and if parents is out in plain site I'll do that too). If the sink is full of dishes I do them. But I also inform the parents that it all gets done as time permits.
My previous and current families are ok with this. At baby stages, its easy for them to nap a few times a day. Going to toddlers its one long nap. I also make sure its ok with the parents if the toddlers help me with certain tasks. Little 6 month olds love to sit in piles of clean laundry and 1 year olds love to help with anything.

My current families love that I involve the children. And they know that things don't always get done, just like I know on the weekend some things don't get done and will be waiting for the week.

We work as a team, with the family unit, as the most important piece. I am lucky, I have had great families and I can be picky with the families I work for. If we don't gel and see eye to eye, I move on or don't take the job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP you have more than just a bit of time for yourself.

You are trying to dupe MBs if you think that tidying and organizing the closet is something that is done daily for 10-15 hours a week. Organizing play dates? Please, you have got to be kidding.

Hang out with me for a week and try to keep up.

[Anonymous]

I can speak for both sides because I was a sahm and I'm now a nanny. As a sahm I got alot of housework done during the day with my kids, because I can let my kids cry if I need to finish something. I can also let them cry if there is nothing wrong with them but they just want to be carried around.I can skip certain activities or outings according to how tired I am. I can lay in bed with them for quiet time and let them play. But as a nanny parents expect certain things to be done that day..I don't care how many times they say their kids welfare comes first. If that was the case they would do as many things themselves to allow you the time with the kids. I work now 8-7. My day don't end at 7. I now have my stuff to do at home..so no I will not do my employers laundry and stuff so they h ave nothing to do..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a nanny is using the house for 40 hours, it isn't unreasonable to expect to unload the dishes/load (they are probably using some as well) and help out with other chores. Really, one baby is not big deal. If you were talking 3-4 kid, I would think differently. Funny how a SAHM can do all those things and more and a "nanny" who is paid to replace the mom cannot.

A nanny is NOT paid to "replace" the Mom!!! When a child is school-age is a teacher paid to replace the parents? Seriously, this is where mothers get into trouble!

As a nanny, I will wash what every I use for the baby and NEVER use the parents dishes, glassware, etc. I bring my lunch and I even bring my own water.

A teacher is not working in someone's home. You cannot compare the two. You sound nasty. If a parent leaves a few cups in the sink, you wash them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Helping out with household chores doesn't mean the child is any less well cared for. Not being willing to unload a dishwasher is completely independent of the quality of child care you provide. In fact, I think it's better for a child not to ways be the focus of adult attention and to learn independent play. If my choice is a nanny who strictly limits her work vs a sitter who is generally helpful and hardworking, I'll hire the sitter any day. (And Id definitely pay her more!)

So when you go to work, MB, do you wash your boss's car during your lunch hour? Do you vacuum your office while thinking about your project or empty the waste-baskets when talking to a client? Why not?! I'd definitely hire someone who is generally helpful and hardworking!

And, no - you know very well you would not pay a sitter any more - who are we kidding here?!

Actually yes I have. One of my bosses office was nasty. A few of us got together when she went away and cleaned it. We had to spend time in there and wanted to be comfortable.

What you are comparing makes no sense. You are working in someone's home, there 40-60 hours per week. You are there awake more than the boss, so to help with upkeep is reasonable. I don't believe in cleaning the parents room or their bathroom but the one you use, the kitchen (assuming they do it too) and the main areas is reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:10:16's response is one of the stupidest things that has been posted on the board.

1. You don't prevent SIDS by looking at the baby every minute. You prevent SIDS with good sleeping practices. SIDS happens more often in the presence of another care giver because the relative or sitter puts the child to sleep on their stomach, a couch or puts a blanket in the bed. When SIDS occurs in a group environment it can be due the child not getting good sleep with noise and distraction so the child later sleeps more deeply creating the SIDS risk.

2. Babies do not get as much restful sleep when sleeping in strollers or car seats. Its fine occasionally but as a regular practice its not recommended.

3. Hiring a non-lazy nanny does not put your child at risk for SIDS or short change the child in any way.

4. If anyone believes that you watching the child every second, they are very naive.

Please tell me that you don't have children - especially babies... Terrifying...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have had nannies for the past 7+ years. The best nannies have always been the ones WILLING to take on more tasks (note that I say willing, as additional housekeeping is not part of the job description at our house). It's not because I'm looking for a bargain, it's because those individuals had great work ethic, flexibility, and (for lack of a better term) team spirit. Those are the kind of people I want around my kids.

We've had a couple of "I am a CHILDCARE PROFESSIONAL!!!" nannies who would only grudgingly consider emptying a dishwasher and would hand wash a couple of plates just to avoid the dreaded task. Those were the nannies who would be found shoving their iPhones into their pocket if I came home unexpectedly early. The kids were not getting their undivided attention. Those nannies were lazy all around, and we quickly parted ways with them.

We have found that the nannies asking for very middle of the road wages, and OFFERING to lend a hand with other tasks, have been the best. Anyone describing themselves as an "infant specialist" would have gone immediately into the discard pile. Why hire someone with such limited abilities?

Because you love and care more about the welfare and education of your child than you do about having to make your own bed? Just a guess...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a nanny is using the house for 40 hours, it isn't unreasonable to expect to unload the dishes/load (they are probably using some as well) and help out with other chores. Really, one baby is not big deal. If you were talking 3-4 kid, I would think differently. Funny how a SAHM can do all those things and more and a "nanny" who is paid to replace the mom cannot.

A nanny is NOT paid to "replace" the Mom!!! When a child is school-age is a teacher paid to replace the parents? Seriously, this is where mothers get into trouble!

As a nanny, I will wash what every I use for the baby and NEVER use the parents dishes, glassware, etc. I bring my lunch and I even bring my own water.

A teacher is not working in someone's home. You cannot compare the two. You sound nasty. If a parent leaves a few cups in the sink, you wash them.

So when your gardener comes, does he do your dishes for you, too? How about the electrician? When the electrician comes to your house to fix a light socket, does he wash your breakfast dishes for you?

I don't leave dirty dishes expecting other people to clean them up for me and I'm the one who sounds "nasty"? LOL

[Anonymous]

"So when your gardener comes, does he do your dishes for you, too? How about the electrician? When the electrician comes to your house to fix a light socket, does he wash your breakfast dishes for you? "

Those are not comparable because those people are actually occupied the entire time they are at your house. A comparable situation is the receptionist in an office. She is off and on busy but also unoccupied for stretches. That is why where I work others in the office are encouraged to give her projects for her to fit in during the "down time" periods. This work is not part of "receptionist" duties but it helps to justify retaining a position that other organizations get by without so if push came to shove is not 100% essential. Likewise other office workers that end up with large stretches of down time on a regular basis would get a real stink eye if they just sat around or engaged in busy work rather than pitching in to help as needed.

Nannying is similar to that in that it's not unreasonable to expect a nanny to make herself useful after taking an hour break for lunch or so. It's also not insane for most (not all) ages to expect that some stuff can get done while the kids are awake and safely occupied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"So when your gardener comes, does he do your dishes for you, too? How about the electrician? When the electrician comes to your house to fix a light socket, does he wash your breakfast dishes for you? "

Those are not comparable because those people are actually occupied the entire time they are at your house. A comparable situation is the receptionist in an office. She is off and on busy but also unoccupied for stretches. That is why where I work others in the office are encouraged to give her projects for her to fit in during the "down time" periods. This work is not part of "receptionist" duties but it helps to justify retaining a position that other organizations get by without so if push came to shove is not 100% essential. Likewise other office workers that end up with large stretches of down time on a regular basis would get a real stink eye if they just sat around or engaged in busy work rather than pitching in to help as needed.

Nannying is similar to that in that it's not unreasonable to expect a nanny to make herself useful after taking an hour break for lunch or so. It's also not insane for most (not all) ages to expect that some stuff can get done while the kids are awake and safely occupied.

The receptionist would be asked to do administrative other administrative tasks correct? She's not picking up your dry cleaning, or babysitting your kid on a snow day right? I agree with you, that beyond her lunch break a nanny should be working. Where we disagree is on which tasks are appropriate. To me, as a child care provider, those tasks should be related to the care of your child, not simply things you don't like to do. I'm not making your bed, doing your laundry, or scrubbing your bathroom. That doesn't make me a lazy entitled nanny. The desire to have me do so makes you a lazy entitled boss. I will prepared and freeze meals for the child, I will clean and sanitize their toys, organize their bedroom and play areas, do their laundry, plan and set up activities, wash their dishes, and I will keep my developmental knowledge current and sharp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"So when your gardener comes, does he do your dishes for you, too? How about the electrician? When the electrician comes to your house to fix a light socket, does he wash your breakfast dishes for you? "

Those are not comparable because those people are actually occupied the entire time they are at your house. A comparable situation is the receptionist in an office. She is off and on busy but also unoccupied for stretches. That is why where I work others in the office are encouraged to give her projects for her to fit in during the "down time" periods. This work is not part of "receptionist" duties but it helps to justify retaining a position that other organizations get by without so if push came to shove is not 100% essential. Likewise other office workers that end up with large stretches of down time on a regular basis would get a real stink eye if they just sat around or engaged in busy work rather than pitching in to help as needed.

Nannying is similar to that in that it's not unreasonable to expect a nanny to make herself useful after taking an hour break for lunch or so. It's also not insane for most (not all) ages to expect that some stuff can get done while the kids are awake and safely occupied.

The receptionist would be asked to do administrative other administrative tasks correct? She's not picking up your dry cleaning, or babysitting your kid on a snow day right? I agree with you, that beyond her lunch break a nanny should be working. Where we disagree is on which tasks are appropriate. To me, as a child care provider, those tasks should be related to the care of your child, not simply things you don't like to do. I'm not making your bed, doing your laundry, or scrubbing your bathroom. That doesn't make me a lazy entitled nanny. The desire to have me do so makes you a lazy entitled boss. I will prepared and freeze meals for the child, I will clean and sanitize their toys, organize their bedroom and play areas, do their laundry, plan and set up activities, wash their dishes, and I will keep my developmental knowledge current and sharp.

Excellent reply - I completely agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"So when your gardener comes, does he do your dishes for you, too? How about the electrician? When the electrician comes to your house to fix a light socket, does he wash your breakfast dishes for you? "

Those are not comparable because those people are actually occupied the entire time they are at your house. A comparable situation is the receptionist in an office. She is off and on busy but also unoccupied for stretches. That is why where I work others in the office are encouraged to give her projects for her to fit in during the "down time" periods. This work is not part of "receptionist" duties but it helps to justify retaining a position that other organizations get by without so if push came to shove is not 100% essential. Likewise other office workers that end up with large stretches of down time on a regular basis would get a real stink eye if they just sat around or engaged in busy work rather than pitching in to help as needed.

Nannying is similar to that in that it's not unreasonable to expect a nanny to make herself useful after taking an hour break for lunch or so. It's also not insane for most (not all) ages to expect that some stuff can get done while the kids are awake and safely occupied.

The receptionist would be asked to do administrative other administrative tasks correct? She's not picking up your dry cleaning, or babysitting your kid on a snow day right? I agree with you, that beyond her lunch break a nanny should be working. Where we disagree is on which tasks are appropriate. To me, as a child care provider, those tasks should be related to the care of your child, not simply things you don't like to do. I'm not making your bed, doing your laundry, or scrubbing your bathroom. That doesn't make me a lazy entitled nanny. The desire to have me do so makes you a lazy entitled boss. I will prepared and freeze meals for the child, I will clean and sanitize their toys, organize their bedroom and play areas, do their laundry, plan and set up activities, wash their dishes, and I will keep my developmental knowledge current and sharp.

Agree. I don't know how this could be seen as unreasonable.