Au pair eats our junk food so fast!

[Anonymous]

I don't think making her feel self-conscious about everything she eats is the right way to go about it, but I would perhaps put a few things in a bag in the pantry - not hidden, mind you - but labeled "for family pizza night" or something else indicating that it's not for every day consumption by family members. That way it's clear that you really want some sodas for a specific time period.

I remember being 20 years old and it would never have occurred to me to not eat things every day if I wanted them but to parcel them out for my family or hold off on consuming them, when I was visiting home from college. If things were in the pantry or the fridge they were "meant" to be eaten.

Also, it is reasonable to ask her to put things on the grocery list if she finishes them.

[Anonymous]

OP, please consider that she may have bulimia. This behavior sounds very similar to our former APs. I was very niave and never even thought until she came out and confessed.

[Anonymous]

OP, you're paying her much less as an 'exchange'. -- Food is part of it so ofcourse milk, ice cream, etc is going to go faster then normal. She's there 24.7 including the days when you're at work during breakfast and lunch. Some people are junk food eaters so next time maybe speak about this in the interview process. Until then, suck it up because you'll be just as rude and inconsiderate if you make her feel guilty or embarressed.

I'd hide food if it's that big of a prolem.

[Anonymous]

I am a 50 hour a week nanny, and though I do not live-in, I do spend a good amount of my "eating time" of the day at my employers house. We have a food arrangement and I am well provided for, however, they do not buy junk food, snacks or beverages aside from milk and coffee. If I want these things, I being them myself, and I would never dream of asking for more money to do so. I suggest you work out a similar arrangement, if she needs two sodas a day or a tub of cream cheese, she can use the money she earns to purchase these items for herself (there is nothing more annoying than going to enjoy a snack, that you purchased for yourself, only to find it all eaten!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a 50 hour a week nanny, and though I do not live-in, I do spend a good amount of my "eating time" of the day at my employers house. We have a food arrangement and I am well provided for, however, they do not buy junk food, snacks or beverages aside from milk and coffee. If I want these things, I being them myself, and I would never dream of asking for more money to do so. I suggest you work out a similar arrangement, if she needs two sodas a day or a tub of cream cheese, she can use the money she earns to purchase these items for herself (there is nothing more annoying than going to enjoy a snack, that you purchased for yourself, only to find it all eaten!).

Your situation, as a 50 hour a week live out nanny, is not a valid comparison to an Au Pair, who IS supposed to have meals and snacks as part of the compensation package.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a 50 hour a week nanny, and though I do not live-in, I do spend a good amount of my "eating time" of the day at my employers house. We have a food arrangement and I am well provided for, however, they do not buy junk food, snacks or beverages aside from milk and coffee. If I want these things, I being them myself, and I would never dream of asking for more money to do so. I suggest you work out a similar arrangement, if she needs two sodas a day or a tub of cream cheese, she can use the money she earns to purchase these items for herself (there is nothing more annoying than going to enjoy a snack, that you purchased for yourself, only to find it all eaten!).

Your situation, as a 50 hour a week live out nanny, is not a valid comparison to an Au Pair, who IS supposed to have meals and snacks as part of the compensation package.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, please consider that she may have bulimia. This behavior sounds very similar to our former APs. I was very niave and never even thought until she came out and confessed.

This is what I was going to say. I suffered from anorexia and bulimia (because eventually all anorexics binge because their body forces them to) and I would polish off a weeks worth of food in a couple of days without being able to stop. Physically and mentally I could not stop. This obviously is a separate issue, and does not aid you in your search for how to deal with this, but just a view point to consider.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Do these au pair agencies address these issues at all?

[Anonymous]

Day old doughnuts are stale and weem old doughnuts must be like cement. You begrudge her potato chips, cokes and M&Ms? She isn't eating your filet mignons every day! It is cheap junk food. Do you also want to limit her toilet tissue to one roll a week? Hide it in your bedroom closet and sneak it out and eat it in the dark but be certain the TV is loud so she doesn't hear the crunch and fizz.

You win the prize for cheapest woman on all DCUM posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a 50 hour a week nanny, and though I do not live-in, I do spend a good amount of my "eating time" of the day at my employers house. We have a food arrangement and I am well provided for, however, they do not buy junk food, snacks or beverages aside from milk and coffee. If I want these things, I being them myself, and I would never dream of asking for more money to do so. I suggest you work out a similar arrangement, if she needs two sodas a day or a tub of cream cheese, she can use the money she earns to purchase these items for herself (there is nothing more annoying than going to enjoy a snack, that you purchased for yourself, only to find it all eaten!).

Your situation, as a 50 hour a week live out nanny, is not a valid comparison to an Au Pair, who IS supposed to have meals and snacks as part of the compensation package.

Is it meals and SNACKS? I don’t agree, I provide healthy food choices for an adult to live on and don’t get snacks in my house. OP, I have the same issue in my house with other food items. I am SHOCKED at how much food our AP consumes and at the speed. I guess because she isnt paying for it, it doesnt matter to her.

[Anonymous]

My sister had to address a food issue with one of her APs who insisted that she have steak every night as that is what she had at home.

I've never had an issue with my APs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a 50 hour a week nanny, and though I do not live-in, I do spend a good amount of my "eating time" of the day at my employers house. We have a food arrangement and I am well provided for, however, they do not buy junk food, snacks or beverages aside from milk and coffee. If I want these things, I being them myself, and I would never dream of asking for more money to do so. I suggest you work out a similar arrangement, if she needs two sodas a day or a tub of cream cheese, she can use the money she earns to purchase these items for herself (there is nothing more annoying than going to enjoy a snack, that you purchased for yourself, only to find it all eaten!).

Your situation, as a 50 hour a week live out nanny, is not a valid comparison to an Au Pair, who IS supposed to have meals and snacks as part of the compensation package.

Is it meals and SNACKS? I don’t agree, I provide healthy food choices for an adult to live on and don’t get snacks in my house. OP, I have the same issue in my house with other food items. I am SHOCKED at how much food our AP consumes and at the speed. I guess because she isnt paying for it, it doesnt matter to her.

If she's gaining weight, she has a problem. If not, the problem is yours.

[Anonymous]

So stop buying junk food. Bad for you anyway.

[Anonymous]

I 100% get that host families are supposed to be providing meals to their au pairs. Now note that host families don't provide every morsel of food that crosses the au pair's lips - that isn't the deal. Meals with the family, basic food items, anything else is on the AP. So really a host family would be perfectly justified in saying that junk food in the house is totally off-limits. Now of course, most host families just have a general go-ahead-and-eat-anything you want rule.

But have you ever had a friend who was frugal when she was paying for her own dinner, but then when she finds out you're covering dinner all of a sudden she's ordering appetizers, drinks, and desserts too?

It's the same type of irritation with these kinds of food issues. I bet you if the AP was having to buy this stuff herself, she would be a lot more judicious in what and how much she's eating. It crosses the line into taking advantage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I 100% get that host families are supposed to be providing meals to their au pairs. Now note that host families don't provide every morsel of food that crosses the au pair's lips - that isn't the deal. Meals with the family, basic food items, anything else is on the AP. So really a host family would be perfectly justified in saying that junk food in the house is totally off-limits. Now of course, most host families just have a general go-ahead-and-eat-anything you want rule.

But have you ever had a friend who was frugal when she was paying for her own dinner, but then when she finds out you're covering dinner all of a sudden she's ordering appetizers, drinks, and desserts too?

It's the same type of irritation with these kinds of food issues. I bet you if the AP was having to buy this stuff herself, she would be a lot more judicious in what and how much she's eating. It crosses the line into taking advantage.

+1 totally how I feel. There is no way she would be eating the way she does if she was paying for it herself.