Au pair eats our junk food so fast!

[Anonymous]

You are being crazy! Suck it up. You agreed to provide the au pairs meals...read your post and maybe you will see how nuts you sound. You can't feed your au pair cheaper food than your family..she is supposed to be part of your family...

[Anonymous]

It sounds like OP didn't really think through what it would mean to incorporate another adult/adult appetite into her food budget. If Op is used to their groceries needing to feed two adults and very young children, to suddenly add another adult into the mix can be a shock, I guess.

OP what do you expect your au pair to eat? Do you have plenty of "non treat" foods around for her to eat? What are they?

[Anonymous]

Why bring in junk food, for goodness sake....

[Anonymous]

OP -- I completely sympathize with you. We are on our second au pair. Our first ate a completely reasonable amount of food, she ate healthy, and if she finished something she let me know. Our current au pair EATS SO MUCH FOOD it's ridiculous. I buy a loaf of bread and it's gone in a day (used to last almost a week). I buy a gallon of milk and it's gone in a couple of days (used to last at least a week). 1/2 gallon of ice cream -- gone in a day or two. She eats a tub of cream cheese in about 3 days. It would last my family 10 or so days before she arrived. Our au pair eats more than my husband and probably three or four times what I eat. She's not overweight, but she's not skinny. I've been buying more food when I shop on the weekends, but I still can't keep it stocked. Plus, she basically eats whatever I buy so buying more isn't always the answer. So sometimes I hide food from her when I don't want to run out of things I need. I also ask her to go to the store to pick up milk, bread, etc. since she's the one consuming them in mass amounts. This is our last au pair so luckily we don't have to deal with this again. You may all think the OP and I are terrible people, but having her in our house has literally doubled our grocery bills. That's too much to ask from a host family, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Shop at costco.

Stop buying crap.

Deal with the rest.

[Anonymous]

It isn't unreasonable to expect an Au Pair to be considerate of others in the house. IMO, eating all of the treats is inconsiderate no matter who does it.

OP, explain to her that those things are for everyone, and she is expected to make sure she leaves enough for others.

I get annoyed when my teenager polishes off all of the treats in the cupboard before anyone else has any.. I would feel the same if anyone else did it too.

Two cans of pop per day is unhealthy. On that one, go with the role model for children. Your family clearly doesn't go overboard with the snacks or they wouldn't have been lasting as long as they did. While the AP is there, she is expected to follow what the family does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It isn't unreasonable to expect an Au Pair to be considerate of others in the house. IMO, eating all of the treats is inconsiderate no matter who does it.

OP, explain to her that those things are for everyone, and she is expected to make sure she leaves enough for others. While the AP is there, she is expected to follow what the family does.

THIS.

[Anonymous]

If she's not getting fat, you must be running her ragged, and she's just trying to maintain her weight? Lighten up on her work load.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she's not getting fat, you must be running her ragged, and she's just trying to maintain her weight? Lighten up on her work load.

Go away, Bitter Nanny.

[Anonymous]

Buy her groceries that are JUST for her.

[Anonymous]

We don't buy junk food for the AP. She can purchase on her own and leave in her room. However, we have plenty of food in the house and when we do have snacks, like for the Superbowl, she is welcome to eat whatever she likes.

Anyway, our previous AP was like you current one, except she ate all the fruit, yogurt, etc. and sometime I had nothing to put in the kids' lunchboxes. People like that have an unhealthy relationship with food and it was very frustrating.

Can you live with this? Is she otherwise a good AP? Can you manage this better as PP suggested?
If not, rematch!

PS. We also don't pick APs that have dietary restrictions, allergies, strange dislikes (our previous AP confessed during matching that she hates all vegetables - RED FLAG), and APs that are more than a bit chunky. Healthy eating habits are important to us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It isn't unreasonable to expect an Au Pair to be considerate of others in the house. IMO, eating all of the treats is inconsiderate no matter who does it.

OP, explain to her that those things are for everyone, and she is expected to make sure she leaves enough for others.

I get annoyed when my teenager polishes off all of the treats in the cupboard before anyone else has any.. I would feel the same if anyone else did it too.

Two cans of pop per day is unhealthy. On that one, go with the role model for children. Your family clearly doesn't go overboard with the snacks or they wouldn't have been lasting as long as they did. While the AP is there, she is expected to follow what the family does.

Exactly. Tell her this is not okay. I would also suggest giving her a "junk food stipend" - like $20 extra a week to buy her own snacks. Her meals can be with the family. You are respeonsible for her meals, not all the food she wants to eat. This is an important distinction. If she is gorging on snacks, she can pay for them. If you want to be really nice, and maintain a positive relationship with her, give her a shelf in the kitchen and $20/week to buy her own snacks.

[Anonymous]

I think that this is definitely not a big enough of a deal to rematch. This can be dealt with very easily.

You can talk with your AP and let her know that of course she is welcome to eat anything in the house that she wants. Tell her that however, it can sometimes be frustrating when she finished an entire (box of donuts, case of soda, bag of chips, etc.), before anyone else in the family has the chance to have any. Let her know that she is welcome to share the food with you but ask her to please not finish it before other people have a chance to have some soon. Let her know that these are occasional treats for you, not everyday things.

You can mark a separate shelf, cupboard, whatever, and say this is "mommy and daddy's food". Let the kids and AP know that this is your special shelf. She can help herself to anything anywhere else but please leave this shelf alone.

Let AP know that if she wants more junk food than is in the house that she is more than welcome to go to the store and purchase some things for herself. Let her know that if she does do this that you can mark a special shelf for AP only or that she can keep them in her room.

I think that this is a problem that can be solved very easily.

[Anonymous]

OP, is she gaining weight? Sorry if I missed that detail.

[Anonymous]

It may be that she isn't as healthy an eater as you are and if providing food is part of the contract, you can't force her to eat your way.

Does she get to choose or add to the list foods she wants? have you taken any of her food likes/wants/needs into consideration in your grocery shopping?

When she is with the family you can ask her to eat healthy but if she wants a can of soda and some chips in the evening then she needs a separate small allowance to buy her own food or you need to provide x amount a month and she can buy her own on top of that.